A Point Where Two Worlds Collide
by Gernumblies
Summary: It feels as though the words have evaporated from the pages, filling the air and making it too thick to breathe. In a way, they have. Literally, in every sense of the word. The world that I once marvelled at in writing is now too real to even believe and they want me to save them, they want me to make things right. Can I? - Time Travelling AU, Marauders Era, eventual Sirius/OC
1. An Eventful Birthday

****A/N: So, here it is. I've been planning this fic for months and still haven't gotten absolutely everything sorted in my mind! But I know where it's going and**** ** **I'**** ** **m so excited to see what you guys think! This idea came to me out of nowhere and I've been itching to write it all out. I don't want to give too much away, so if you're interested then please give it a read!****

 ** **Edit: Previously, Elle & Dumbledore apparated. But, to make it closer to the book, I've changed that small detail to a portkey.**** ** **Can't really do much else since I'm too far into this fic now and would rather not do loads of re-writing.****

 ** **Disclaimer: I own nothing but my OC's****

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 _ _"I'll meet you at the divide__

 _ _To break the spell__

 _ _A point where two worlds collide__

 _ _Yeah, we'll rebel__

 _ _And we run__

 _ _Until we break through__

 _ _If I get high enough__

 _ _Will I see you again?"__

\- Nothing But Thieves

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I think everyone has that special story. That one, completely amazing, utterly engaging, and awfully tragic tale. That one idea you can find yourself immersed in, daydreaming precious hours away. That one world you wish was real and can't fathom why your ordinary life isn't as magical. For me, it was the story of Harry James Potter. Everything about the universe was intriguing and my younger self would stay up until the early hours of the morning, reading my beloved books under torchlight and not regretting it one bit. Not when my tired head would bang against the school desk as I'd fallen asleep in class. Not when I would neglect homework and get detention, and not when I sacrificed social outings with friends. Was it an obsession? Maybe a little. Unhealthy? Let's put it this way, I'm pretty sure my mother had decided she'd rather an insufferable bookworm for a daughter than a drug-addict. The story was like a getaway, an escape from the boring reality of mathematics and how many degrees an angle was, or the calculations of velocity in a dreadful physics lecture. All I'd ever wanted was to attend a school that taught helpful things, and I can bet that everyone agrees the skill to summon an object out of thin air is much more useful than learning a dead language. All my life I knew anything like that was stupid to dwell on. I knew I was being silly when I attempted to move objects with my mind at age five. I knew it was stupid to wait patiently by the letterbox on my eleventh birthday, sure my acceptance letter would flit through and land in my lap. And I knew everyday now that the inkling of hope in my heart was illogical. But still, that little belief fluttered, the flame determined not to be smothered by my disappointment.

Little did I know that the world wasn't so simple, the events of my 15th birthday certainly proved that.

 ** **...****

It was the 3rd of August, 2015. I woke at roughly quarter past ten and smiled at the fact that Mum had let me sleep in for once. The short-lived and sweltering heat of summer had passed and the school holidays were coming to an end, much to my dismay. A scuffling of shoes on the other side of my bedroom door made me laugh and I sat up, leaning my back against the headboard of my bed. "I'm awake!" I called out.

As soon as the announcement was made, the entrance of my room was breached and three overly-excited bodies rushed in. The shortest waddled along the carpet and held his arms up, too young to climb up by my side. "Els-puff! Happy Bur-dy!" My three year old brother's speech was definitely improving and I lifted him up onto my lap, stroking his soft mousy curls that were obviously inherited from our mother.

"Thank you very much, Albie." I smiled at him. His baby blue eyes gleamed, the sight making my own face light up.

Another child pulled herself up using the edge of my quilt like a rope. "I actually buyed you a present!"

I cringed at her grammar. "Bought, Tilly."

She stayed smiling and pointed to the gift bag in Mum's hand. "Whatever. Can we give 'em yet, Mummy?" The girl looked up at our parent with hopeful eyes.

My mother smoothed out the covers and sat down with us, shaking her head. "Not until Hattie gets in here, it's tradition!"

I was perfectly fine with waiting but Matilda certainly wasn't, crossing her chubby little arms until Harriet walked in. She was wearing joggers and a hoodie, her hair was pulled up into a bun and she held a jar of _Nutella_ and a spoon.

"It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus, so please get this over with," She said, sitting herself on my rug and waiting with a scowl.

Mum frowned, in both pity and annoyance, and turned to me. "Alright, open Tilly's first or she'll likely give herself an aneurysm." I chuckled again at the young girl who's glasses were now almost falling off with all of the bouncy movements she was making on my bed.

One by one I opened my presents, adding to the pile of shredded up wrapping paper in Albert's lap. The toddler was more than happy playing with the mess, littering it all over my duvet. I got a few new books, though I knew none would compare to my favourites all lined up on my shelf. Mum had gotten me a quite expensive-looking locket, the contents being a family photo. I honestly adored it and pulled the chain over my head, the cool metal of the oval jewellery resting on my chest. "I'm never taking it off," I promised her.

When I pulled out the last, Mum looked a little confused. It was a small tortoiseshell box with a golden clasp. My fingers roamed over the polished exterior before unclasping it. Upon opening I gasped a little at the object laying comfortably in the deep purple velvet lining. It was an extremely realistic Time-Turner replica, shining in the light as I held it at different angles. "I don't remember buying that..." My mother seemed puzzled as I turned the golden prop over in my hands, marvelling at the sheer detail and accuracy. "Hattie? Tils? Did you two get this?"

She was questioning my sisters, both of whom were shaking their heads. "I dunno. Might have," Hattie answered, lazily spooned in another mouthful of the chocolate spread and stood, apparently disinterested in the whole affair. "If you're done, I'm going to go wallow in my own misery."

My older sister retreated to the depths of her room, probably now watching _Gossip Girl_ or texting her vast group of friends. "I've got a whole outing planned for us! Doesn't that sound wonderful, Albie?" Mum said, picking up the giggling toddler and beginning to stride out the door. "Come on, let your sister get ready." Tilly landed a sloppy kiss on my cheek and dropped down from my bed, the door clicking shut behind her and leaving me in quiet.

I hadn't really taken my eyes off of the last gift and was now dangling the time-turner by the chain, inspecting the words etched along the complexities of it.

 _ _I mark the hours, every one,__

 _ _Nor have I yet outrun the Sun.__

 _ _My use and value, unto you,__

 _ _Are gauged by what you have to do.__

"What I have to do?" I whispered to myself, wondering what I would use the thing for if it were real.

I'm not sure why I did it, why I even bothered - perhaps to humour myself. Lifting a hand, I placed a single finger on the hourglass and spun it. My eyes widened as, instead of slowing to a stop, it defied gravity and it's speed increased. The complex design began to merge into a golden blur and I held it out away from my body, acutely aware of the wind whipping at my hair. My view was changing a hundred times, and then a hundred more. Silhouettes of different figures whizzed past my vision and an array of colours merged into another set of pigments. My stomach tied itself into numerous knots and seemed to flip up into my lungs, my breath getting raspy. I was starting to feel sick with what I saw and closed my eyes, dropping to the floor with a thud. "It's not real. It's not real, you're just dreaming. Or tripping on acid. Maybe I fainted?" I mumbled explanations to myself, baffled by what was happening around me and too scared to open my eyes.

I took a few deep breaths, counting my own heartbeat. The small amount of bravery in me told me to grow the fuck up and I hesitantly peeked through a twitching eyelid. "What the-?"

I was still standing in my bedroom. By all means, this was the same room. But now my lilac walls were covered in a mint paisley wallpaper and my carpet was ripped up and replaced with dark floorboards. My wrought iron bed frame wasn't by the window any more, the only furniture now situated in this room being a desk and a chair. The shelves were in different places, no trace of their previous whereabouts and the ceiling light lacked that vintage lampshade I loved so much.

"This dream is a little too vivid for my liking..." I reached up and pinched the skin of my arm as hard as I could, wincing at the unexpected pain. "Oh dear lord what have I done." That was when I started panicking, running to the window and almost crying at the lack of my neighbour's house. "How can a whole house disappear?" I whispered in disbelief, pacing back and forth countless times, still not being able to believe my own eyes. "I've gone mad, utterly insane!" About time, I concluded.

The sound of keys at the front door stopped me in my tracks and I froze, listening to someone enter the house. Foolishly thinking it might have been Mum, I ran down the stairs and almost tripped at the scream I was met with. A lady roughly in her sixties and holding an awfully pink handbag stood before me, a lady whom I'd never seen in my entire existence. "What on earth are you doing in my house?" I gaped at the intruder.

The woman ran to the console table nearby and grabbed an ugly flowerless vase, holding it above her head. "What are _you_ doing in _my_ house?!" she screeched. If the whole situation wasn't absurd enough, a loud crack sounded through the hall and a tall man with a long white beard appeared. A man that I could recognise anywhere, on paper or right in front of my very eyes.

He motioned a hand and whispered " _ _immobulus__ ," causing the woman to stop completely, as if frozen. "I assure you I am just as confused as you are."

I clutched my stomach and took a few steps back, sitting on the stairs and still trying to grasp what was happening. I felt like I was dealing with a serious case of vertigo. "How did you know I would be here? __Why__ am I here?" I looked hopefully up at the wizard and took in his twinkling eyes and half-moon spectacles. His deep purple robes swished along the floor at the tiny movements he made.

"Detection of underage magic from a witch who shouldn't exist," Dumbledore said, clapping his hands together. "Well, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to sort out this predicament," he motioned towards the lady. "And discuss the current events in my office." He produced a long piece of carved wood from his robes and I realised it must be a wand. My suspicions were confirmed when he muttered "o _ _bliviate__ _ _,__ " under his breath and - I assume - altered the memories of the woman. Once he was finished cleaning up the scene, the Professor pulled a rag out of his pocket. Said rag held an object inside and once he pulled away at the wrappings my eyes laid on an old pocket-watch.

"What's that for?" I asked.

"This is a portkey. Now, hold onto it and brace yourself."

With my day just getting better and better, I stretched my hand out and touched my skin to the rusty silver. The feeling was exactly as described, a hook pulling at my navel in a way that made me want to throw up. It wasn't long before I spun out and landed with a thud onto the floor below.

"That was awful," I spluttered, trying to regain my strength and see where I was. The Headmaster's office was how I'd imagined it in every single way, Fawkes chirping at the far end and books lining the walls like paint. Everywhere I looked a glint of copper, brass, silver, or gold would catch in my eye and I swore I could see something sparkling in one of the cabinets. "Does this mean? I'm in Hogwarts!" My question ended with a realisation.

All of the information was too much to take in as I struggled to stand. "Lemon drop?" Professor Dumbledore was already sat at his desk, offering up a bowl. "So, Miss...?"

"Winslow. Elspeth Winslow." I managed to get out my name, still taking in every little detail of the room I was in.

"Miss Winslow, it would help if you could entertain me with the details of how you arrived here," The man before me said, trying to coax out an explanation. And so I told him. I told him everything I could think of. I told him about the Time-Turner and watched as he inspected the golden metal. I told him about how it couldn't be real, how it was only a replica, a copy of something that hadn't even really existed in the first place. At least not where I was from. "And you do not know who gifted it to you?" He rose an eyebrow in question and slotted the time-turner into a drawer in his desk. I didn't even take a second to debate whether I should ask for it back. Whether it was mine to ask for.

I shook my head in reply and frowned. "How am I here? In my world, this isn't real. You're all just characters in a damned book," I said and buried my face in my hands, wishing the confusion would leave. "What year is it?" I asked, looking up again. By the traces of red and brown still in his hair, I guessed I hadn't landed in Harry's timeline.

"It is August 3rd, 1975," he answered. I looked at the Headmaster, tears prickling my eyes a little. "I know no more than you, Miss Winslow. I can only assume that you are here for a purpose."

"What purpose?" I asked. He had no answer this time and I stood, running a hand through my hair and realizing I'd gone back in time forty bloody years, down to the day. "What about my family? How do I get home?" I once thought I would trade anything to live a life in Harry's world. I wasn't so sure now.

"I am not entirely sure you are even in the same universe any more." Dumbledore's eyes were full of pity and I knew this was out of even his powers. "All I can suggest is that you stay here and pose as a transfer student. I will keep it quiet with the Ministry while I look into how you ended up in this... situation."

I nodded, my stomach still flipping and making me wonder what miracle had stopped me from puking. "But what if people start asking questions?"

"Then we shall make sure you have answers to those questions." He stood and began towards one of his tall shelves. "You are now Elspeth __Gladwyn__ , muggle-born and kept from a magical education by your mother who was stricken with grief when your father passed away." A hat was now in his hands as he returned to me. "Recently, however, she has fallen victim to terminal illness and you are free to start your studies. Elaborate as much as you see fit. But first, we must sort you."

I was surprised at how Dumbledore could so easily think up a backstory from the top of his head. As he rested the pointed hat on the top of my auburn waves, I could almost feel the old and battered thing invade my thoughts with legilimency. Perhaps this was a bad idea? I knew so much about the future to come, what if it could see that? "Ah, what do we have here? Aren't you a bit old?" The hat chuckled softly to itself and continued to speak quietly. "Well, you seem to be very clever, with superior knowledge about magic considering the circumstances, but perhaps not experienced in the practicality of it. Unusual... perhaps you would do well in Ravenclaw?" Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I contemplated life at Hogwarts. As a Ravenclaw? "But no, hm, there's something else there. Hidden courage, and a very important task. Right, then. Gryffindor!" It bellowed out it's decision quite unnecessarily, in my opinion, as I wasn't a first year in the Great Hall and the only audience here was an old man.

Dumbledore removed the sentient being and placed it back in it's place. I fiddled in my seat, not knowing how to stay still. "But, sir! What am I supposed to do? Am I even a witch? I know every little detail about what will happen in the next forty or so years-"

"Do not tell me, child. It is up to you to act on what you may know," he interrupted and sat back behind his desk, clasping his hands together. "As for your abilities, why don't you give it a whirl?" I didn't understand what he meant until a book flew from it's place and landed in a spare spot between two others on the opposite shelf.

"Wandless magic?" I watched as he nodded and took a deep breath, turning to the lemon drops with determination. After three solid minutes of staring I swore I saw a wrapper crinkle. Alas, nothing. "Nothing's changed then..." Disappointment flooded my thoughts but stopped when the whole bowl erupted, sending the sweets off in different directions. I stumbled backwards in shock. "I? I did that?"

"Well, I certainly did not. It appears that in this universe you are magical, whereas in another I may be nothing more than a mad old man." He watched me with serious eyes. "I believe you have been placed here for a reason, by something beyond even my knowledge." My nerves weren't calming and my heart was still racing, befuddled by everything I was hearing.

"So, you mean to say I should... change things?"

I didn't think I could mentally deal with walking through halls filled with people whom I knew would die soon, but I promised myself I would try. I would try for the girl that cried into her pillow when her father proved to be as mortal as the characters in her books. I would try for me.


	2. Enter: The Marauders

****A/N: Sorry this one's a bit less thrilling, things will become more amusing when Elspeth gets to know our beloved Marauders and comes out of her shell a bit. Hope you all enjoy, reviews would be great as I like to know what you lot think, what could be added etc.****

 ** **Have a lovely week and thank you for the feedback, I love getting reviews from you guys!****

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The sun shone down on the little village of Hogsmeade quite pleasantly, a breeze evening out the temperature so that you might not melt under the heat. I was surprised at the warmth of the day, being in Scotland, but I guessed that early September wasn't exactly prone to snow and hail instead. Almost a month of living a magical life and I was still nowhere near used to it. I think over everything else it was scary. Wondrous, definitely, but utterly frightening to think that along with all the amazing creatures and beautiful spells there were murderous beasts and wizards who could kill you in seconds with a flash of green light. It didn't help that I constantly had that knowledge tugging at my mind, the storyline of where this would go and who was or was not fortunate enough to make it to the end.

Shortly after my arrival at the castle, Dumbledore had called in Professor McGonagall and explained absolutely everything, not leaving out a single detail. I could tell she was perhaps the one he trusted most. So, I had to sit and watch as the witch listened to the story with lips drawn into a stern line, not quite believing it more than I did myself.

"What you wish to tell me is that the girl just appeared? Out of nowhere?" Her Scottish brogue was thick and I couldn't help but smile at imagining that authoritative voice berating numerous students throughout her lengthy career. When the Headmaster had nodded she'd let out a breath and raised her eyebrows. "And how do we know she is not lying? I do not mean to accuse her, but this all seems a bit, well, _unconvincing_."

"I have had this talk with you before, Minerva. There are many things beyond our understanding in both the Muggle and magical world. You know what the legends say," Dumbledore had said, scratching his beard in thought before raising a finger in the air. "Ah, an idea." This idea had undoubtedly already crossed his mind long before his supposed 'epiphany'. "I think it would be best if the girl should stay with you until the school term begins."

Shock had flashed across the Transfiguration Professor's face before she closed her gaping mouth. "With me? And why is that?" I was starting to feel a bit awkward, as I was causing so much unnecessary trouble.

"We both know she would be in good hands. Protected," Dumbledore exlpained.

McGonagall had taken a moment to think before sighing in defeat. "If it pleases you, then Miss Winslow is welcome to my spare bedroom."

"A touch of tutoring couldn't hurt either," The Headmaster said, almost in glee at her agreement.

And that was how I spent the remainder of my summer. Being taught how to turn a match into a needle, and how much of a certain ingredient can be added to a potion before it boils over and scorches Minerva's dining table in her cottage situated in Hogsmeade. I never thought I'd be able to do such a thing, let alone be terrible at it. I think McGonagall was quite surprised with how much I knew about this new universe, though I never disclosed anything personal I knew about her. That could be disastrous.

The witch had taken me on a short trip to Diagon Alley, willingly buying me all the books I would need for the next term and all the equipment I hadn't been able to collect over the years. To my delight, that included a wand. My experience at Ollivander's was simply magical, numerous wands being dropped into my palm before a warm-toned one shot out red sparks. I was almost ashamed to say how much I admired it, it was awfully pretty. Made of the wood from a Larch tree, the wand-maker had told me.

When I wasn't messing around with my wand, marvelling at what tricks and messes I could make, I was bundled up in blankets thinking of my family. It was now the morning of September 1st and I sat up against the pillows that cushioned the headboard of my bed. I ran my finger over the little lump under my shirt, the locket Mum had given me and the only reminder that I didn't really belong here. At every dawn I would wish and pray that Tilly had snuck into my room again, her annoying mousy curls tickling my nose. But when my eyes fluttered open at the first sign of light I only saw the small room that had now become a second home.

I picked my wand up from the bedside table and twirled it in my hands absent-mindedly. After flipping it up in the air and catching it, an electric blue spark shot out and knocked over my glass of water on the desk by the window. I squeaked and shot up, running over and trying to lessen the spill. My efforts were useless as the liquid dripped over the edge and fell in droplets onto the carpet. A knock at the door made me jump again until I heard the voice behind it. "Elspeth? May I come in?" A voice called. I ran to the entry and swung open the door to be met with the face of one tired Professor McGonagall. "Are you alright? I heard a noise," she explained, eyes wandering around my room. "Oh." She spotted the mess and tutted at my sheepish expression, shaking her head at the wand still in my hand. With a wave of her own, the water evaporated in little clouds of steam.

"Wicked!" I exclaimed. I stared wide-eyed at the spell and could have sworn the woman smirked.

"Here are your robes, I'm cooking breakfast. And don't let those weeks of my teaching go to waste," her voice trailed off as she disappeared down the hall and I grinned to myself, taking the pile of clothes over to my bed and getting changed. Once washed, dressed, and hair fully brushed I took one last glance in the mirror. My brown eyes weren't framed with puffy skin from crying any more and my pale complexion had a healthy flush rather than the sickly tinge of a week ago. I decided this was a sign that I was coping better and I made one last smile at my reflection before heading to the kitchen, a slight skip in my step. I watched as Minerva buttered my toast and scooped on the scrambled eggs, all while humming some old tune. She really was an amazing woman. Incredibly scary at first, strict too. But then her powerful protectiveness kicks in and you really start to see less of a teacher and more of mother figure. She was all I had right now and I made sure she knew I appreciated her kindness.

"Thank you, smells great," I said. And it tasted so, too. I spent the day exploring Hogsmeade and browsing Tomes and Scrolls, not much different to how the rest of my free time had gone that summer. Though the day seemed short and the light was beginning to fade, signalling the arrival of students. Professor McGonagall noticed my nervousness when navigating our way to the Great Hall. She tried to reassure me but I still felt awfully out of place watching as friends found each other and chose their seats. Eventually having to suck it up and stop being hesitant, I took my first step into the room and scanned the Gryffindor table, taking in the faces of my new peers and wondering if I'd read about any of them. Halfway down the long sea of students, someone called out from my side.

"Oi!" A head of chestnut curls bounced as a girl of similar age to me beamed in my direction. I pointed to myself in question, taking a quick glance over my shoulder. "Yes, you!" she confirmed. "Come 'ere, tell us your name won't you?"

I cocked an eyebrow and noted her northern accent before approaching the bench she sat at. "Er, Elspeth. Elspeth Wi- Gladwyn." The sentence stumbled out of my mouth and I was mentally slapping myself for the slip of my guise. Awkwardly, I took the seat next to her.

The bronze-skinned girl took my hand from my side and shook it. "Mary MacDonald." I knew that name. "So how come I haven't seen you 'round here before?" she asked. Her personality was strong and I had to take a moment to really fathom why she was all that interested in me.

"Well, my mother's a muggle and never really let me practice magic," I stated. I watched her face and hoped I wasn't giving anything away with my own fake emotions.

"Why the heck not?" The idea of me being held back from an education at Hogwarts seemed to have offended Mary. To be honest, I would have been angered myself if that really were the case.

"My father died a few days before my eleventh birthday. I guess she was just stricken with grief," I shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. Mary seemed to think it was because I didn't want to talk about my Dad's death. And I didn't, that lie was much closer to the truth. The gossiping ceased when the first years arrived, Professor McGonagall holding the Sorting Hat. I felt as if I should have been up there with them, but decided I was glad for a more quiet sorting. Pupil after pupil stepped up and found out if they were to be a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. Maybe a Gryffindor, or perhaps Slytherin.

I hated the prejudices behind the houses. Not all Slytherins were evil. Horace Slughorn, for one, was cunning and ambitious in many ways but never swayed in his beliefs that we were all equal and the Death Eaters were right sods. Cowardly Hufflepuffs? What about Cedric Diggory? Feeling a rant about to burst out, I crossed my arms and acted engaged.

"You're gonna love it here! It'll take some gettin' used to but everyone's nice enough. Correction, most are..." Mary gave a glance to the Slytherin table and it didn't take much imagination to realise she might have a few enemies. "Merlin, I'm starvin'. When's old Dumbly gonna get on with it?" she grumbled and I followed her gaze to what I assumed to be the staff table, trying to guess who might be who. The man with several missing limbs was undoubtedly Professor Kettleburn, a character I was fond of but wished had been written about in more depth. I could see a woman who fit the profile for Madam Pince but couldn't really guess the rest. As Professor Dumbledore stood, the hall went quiet and every head turned to watch the old man.

"I welcome you all back for another school year! There are a few announcements to make but first, dig in!" He raised his goblet and everyone cheered in reply as platter after platter of food made its way onto the tables. Roast potatoes appeared out of thin air onto one plate and a whole turkey was summoned to another. Mary reached over me to grab a piece of toast and add it to her growing plate.

"I swear my Mam can't cook for shit," she said between mouthfuls. I almost choked on my food at her crude honesty and giggled at her expression. "What? Only bein' truthful." She gave me a wink before turning to the redhead at her left. "Meet the new lass."

"I'm Lily," she introduced herself. At the mention of her name I froze, eyes locked onto the girl who was now looking past Mary's shoulder and giving me a wave. "Prefect."

Remembering myself, I nodded and returned the greeting. "Elspeth."

Mary scoffed at her friend. "Mind mentioning that to everyone? It's not like you're Head Girl." I wanted to roll my eyes at her and say that this is Lily bloody Evans, of course she's Head Girl. Or at least, she will be.

"You're just jealous," Lily chuckled, a sound that rang in my ear, but not in a bad way. Everything about her made me feel at ease. Was that weird? "Ignore her, she's the definition of a pessimist."

MacDonald cleared her throat and corrected the other girl. "Realist."

In perfect timing to stop their bickering, a wad of bread flew from a few seats up and hit me in the cheek. "What the bloody hell was that?" I said and rubbed where the food had assaulted me, quite disgusted and annoyed.

"Nice one, Padfoot!" I heard a voice and recognised the nickname instantly, trying to decide whether they were berating or encouraging their friend. "Say sorry or I'll have McGonagall put you in detention." A telling off, then. Though more as banter than for my benefit.

"I'd like to see you try Prongs- ouch, Moony! Alright!" A boy with a mane of shaggy dark hair scooted up the empty space on the bench to his side and stopped next to the unfamiliar student that sat directly in front of me. He laid his hand over his chest and mocked a heart-felt apology. "I would like to deeply apologise for my inappropriate actions, and promise that I was one hundred percent not totally trying to shoot your face off." His pout turned into a smirk and his grey eyes had a mischievous glint that honestly made me quite nervous.

"Oh shove off, Black," Lily retorted but couldn't help the entertained smile that played on her mouth. "And tell Potter to stop attacking my friends. Yes, I know it was really him that threw it."

Sirius let out a bark of laughter and gave me one last look before returning to his place while I was trying to take in all these names being thrown here and there. So there were two of the Marauders, and the other half? I looked back to where Sirius had joined James and smiled at the tawny haired boy to his right. That smile turned into a bit of a grimace when I spotted the chubby mouse-haired one next to him. Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. All four of my childhood heroes, the troublemakers I loved to read about were real. Right before my very eyes.

Another bout of silence interrupted my frenzied thoughts and everyone turned back to Dumbledore. "Now, in with the usual notices. Mr. Filch would like to make it known, again, that magic is not to be practised in the corridors between lessons." I heard audible groans from a few particular rebels at this. "He also has a list of every object and device that is banned. The forest is forbidden to all students, completely out of bounds."

I stopped listening when he went on about Quidditch try-outs and instead focused on staying awake, feeling incredibly drowsy from my full stomach. Before I knew it, Lily was rising from her place and slinging her bag over her shoulder. "I've got to help show the first years to their dorms, " she sighed and gave an annoyed look to me and Mary before catching up with Lupin.

"Guess you're taggin' along with me." The brunette linked her arm in mine, as if we'd known each other for years, and pulled me along by her side. "I wonder where... eh! Marlene!" she called out to a blonde girl a few metres ahead, swerving through the crowd as headstrong as possible. I was going to have to get used to this. "McKinnon, meet Gladwyn. Did you hear about try-outs? I have to make beater this year!"

Marlene laughed and nodded. "I'm afraid you'll send a rogue bludger at my head if you do!" she exclaimed and craned her neck to smile kindly at me. "Do you play?"

I cleared my throat, looking at my feet. "Er, never even ridden a broom..."

The two of them looked gob-smacked. "I'm gettin' you off the floor as soon as possible... 'never even ridden a broom' my arse!" Mary shook her head.

The three of us erupted in laughter and headed to the dormitories for the night. I was exhausted and melted into my soft mattress in seconds, but the Sorting Hat's words from many weeks ago echoed in my last moments of consciousness.

"A very important task."

What exactly was this supposed task?


	3. A Very Pink Charm

****A/N: Just going to put it out there, James seems**** ** **like**** ** **a little bit of an arsehole in this chapter. But that's not how I think he was! Sure, cheeky to the point it can come off quite rude and inappropriate, but he gets carried away and doesn't mean to cause harm! So I promise no bashing of**** ** **my fave Potter.**** ** **Character progression, my lovelies!****

 ** **A big thank you to my readers and**** ** **anybody**** ** **who takes the time to**** ** **leave a review! A**** ** **ll I can do is improve from here.****

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At dawn I had already realised that today was going to be one orchestrated by the weather and woke half an hour before the other girls, watching as the downpour soaked the windows and blurred the view of outside. I loved the rain, it always brought a sense of protection and ease even when I was at my most anxious and I was feeling those nerves try to break free right now. The parchment in my lap was adorned with my fifth year timetable, and I had double Charms this morning. For the first time in my existence I was excited for schoolwork. No more bloody reactions in Chemistry or Henry VIII and his six ruddy wives in History class.

Mary proved to be a dreadful snorer, so much so that the snorts made it sound as though she were being strangled and throttled in her slumber. The disturbance was finally waking Lily and the girl stirred and stretched before sitting herself up and beaming across the room at me, practically radiating sunshine. For God's sake, she even looked stunning moments after waking. Her hair fell in slight waves, much more copper than my own frizzy shade of auburn. Unrealistically emerald green eyes twinkled with tears from suddenly taking in light and her nose wrinkled up in the cutest way when she yawned. No wonder James was smitten with his crush.

"Morning! You're an early bird too?" Lily asked, the question more rhetorical than anything. She swung her legs over and stood from her bed, heading towards the bathroom. "Merlin, my neck aches."

I sighed and started stretching my arm. "Tell me about it!" I called out to her, my wrist stiff from sleeping on it weirdly. In the next ten minutes everyone else was up, the remainder being Mary, Marlene, Dorcas, and Alice. Dorcas Meadowes was fairly quiet and solitary in character, with the darkest brown hair and piercing deep grey eyes that were somewhat softened by her glasses. Alice was the complete opposite, with a round face and bright, shining blonde curls cut just above her collar bones. From the quick mentions of her boyfriend Frank I'd caught onto who I was talking to and smiled.

Overall, they were kind and I was thanking my lucky stars I didn't get stuck bunking with some book villain that was never mentioned. A Malfoy or Zabini probably would have sent me running for the hills. While Mary showered, I got dressed into my uniform and packed my bag, wondering what was deemed too much as I was holding back bringing all of my textbooks. I wanted to be prepared, is all.

"Double with Flitwick," Mary groaned, packing a single roll of parchment and a rather distressed feather quill. "Teacher-wise, you could do much worse for your first lesson, Gladwyn." She thumped me on the back, a little too hard, and started down the stairs toward the common room. I followed behind with Lily and Alice, barely registering the chatter of the blonde next to me as we walked to the Great Hall. The hall was filled with chatter much like the canteen of a Muggle school, though if anything much louder and more vast. Notes folded into little aeroplanes whizzed through the air and textbooks were thrown across tables. We were just catching up with Mary's long strides when someone much taller than me cut my path off to get to the girl by my side.

"Evans! What a wonderful day-"

"It's chucking it down, Potter." Lily cut him off. I could see her patience wearing thinner by the second as James took a hand to his hair. He ruffled the already unkempt mess of ebony and grinned widely at her. He was handsome, very handsome, but Lily shoved past him to find a seat. She make sure to catch my hand and string me along first. "He's such an arrogant twat. Did you see the thing with the hair?" She pointed to her own red locks and seethed. "Thinks it makes him look all rugged and dishevelled and sexy. Like he's just jumped off his broom," she rambled. I could barely hold back my laughter when scooting onto the bench next to her for breakfast.

But she wasn't going to rid herself of him that quick. Potter and three others strutted over, sitting opposite the table. "I'm guessing you don't like the rain," he said. Now he was leaning over the table and practically pushing plates away to get closer. "Well, how about we go to Madam Puddifoot's on a day that it's not raining?"

"I'll have to decline." She barely looked at him. "And I'm not sorry about it either."

"Come on! This Saturday, I dare you." The smirk didn't waver.

"As I've already said, no. I've got plans... with the girls." She turned to me and I knew if I didn't play along it would be me who were decapitated, not James.

I cleared my throat and nodded. "Yeah, that's right. Saturday."

Potter scowled and crossed his arms in annoyance. "You're only saying that so you won't have to go with me," he stated.

Lily let out an indignant noise of frustration and stood from between me and Alice. "I am not going on a date with you just so that you can feel up my legs under those tiny little café tables!" she exclaimed. She addressed me while still looking at James. "I'm going to go find Sev." And with that, she stormed off in a fiery manner, leaving me, Alice, and Mary in a rather awkward situation.

James frowned, sitting back into his place and turning to Sirius. "Mate, what am I doing wrong?"

"Dunno, Prongs," his friend replied in disinterest. It was now that I noticed the grey eyes that kept flicking between me and his nails that he was chewing. "Mystery they are, girls."

"She hates me!" Potter slammed his head onto the wood of the table with much lack of elegance.

"Nah," A third voice concluded. Remus looked up from his book for a moment and I only now realised I was narrating the whole thing in my head.

I should really stop staring. Like now.

"Who are you?" Black asked and held his face with his two hands, staring at me quite intently with a confused expression. He said it almost like an accusation, as if I couldn't possibly exist if __he__ didn't know who I was. Jerk.

"Who are __you__?" I mirrored his words back to him. Before he could reply I brought my bag strap up to my shoulder, about to grab my friends and leave. My mouth opened ready to voice a witty retort but none came to mind, so instead I gave my best glare. Though I admit I probably just squinted like a short-sighted mole that had lost its glasses. I stood in a similar manner to the angry witch from before, beckoning a rather surprised Mary to follow me. Sirius' reaction wasn't what I expected. He didn't get agitated in the slightest and instead his eyes just flared with that glint of mischief again.

Mary smiled oddly at me when we'd made some distance between us and the Marauders. I looked to find that Alice had found Dorcas further along. "They'll catch up," Mary promised.

After a trek to the third floor, I glanced over my shoulder to see none other than the bunch of idiots from breakfast trailing behind, whooping with laughter at some terrible joke Peter had made. One thing was for sure, this lesson was going to be eventful. As we entered the Charms classroom, Professor Flitwick's face lit up as he must have picked up my unfamiliar face. "Ah, Miss Gladwyn! Just give us a shout if you need any help!" he said. I smiled and nodded in reply, trying to ignore the mocking tone behind me.

" _'_ _Give us a shout!_ _'_ It's not like she's an infant."

I found Lily two rows back and she gave me a look as if to say _'you're not laughing now!'_. I stuck my tongue out at her and sat in my place, pulling out my textbook and ink, acutely noticing the unfamiliar boy with dark hair sat next to her.

"Alright, class, quieten down! This year is your most important year yet, you'll be sitting your Ordinary Wizarding Level Examinations!" The short wizard waddled to the chalkboard and charmed the chalk to write out a big 'OWL'. Today we will be revising the Summoning Charm you all learnt last year. Remember?" He pointed to his desk and clearly chanted " _a_ _ccio_ quill!". The feathered quill shot across the room and he caught it in hand. "Right now, everyone partner up and practice summoning different objects. Nothing dangerous!" The Professor gave a warning look to the troublesome lot at the back of the room.

I turned to Mary and sighed in relief at the wink she gave me. Standing roughly a metre apart, I attempted to summon her scroll of parchment. " _Accio_ parchment!" Nothing. I took a breath and tried again, flicking my wand exactly as I should. " _Accio_ parchment!" Still, the object stayed cemented on the table with not a single sign of movement. "This is useless... _accio_ parchment!" And with that, the scroll came to me. Hit me right in the chest and gave me a paper cut, but it still worked. "Thank God for that. Your turn," I said to Mary. The brunette was about to give it a try when a certain student in the row behind was trying some absurd trick and not being quiet about it.

" _Accio_ Lily's undies!" James Potter sat brandishing his wand dramatically, Sirius and Peter guffawing next to him. "Come on, Moony! You're the genius, why isn't it working?" he joked to his friend, sly grin on his face. Remus turned away from him, cheeks almost as bright red as poor Lily's hair.

"What a dick," I announced in a muttered breath, accidentally flicking my wand under the table in thought. Okay, maybe that was a lie, I might have just turned James Potter's hair a fluorescent pink with intent. It took a few tries but soon his black curls looked more like candyfloss than anything else. It's not like I actually thought it would work! The boy was still laughing at his joke, thinking his friends were finding it much too amusing. They weren't laughing with him, however, they were laughing at him. Flitwick was now paying attention as he brought the class to a halt. "Mr. Potter! What have you done to your hair?" he asked, face scrunched up in confusion. How quickly the grin slid off James' face was highly comical, especially when he grabbed a lock of hair and pulled it into his vision to inspect.

"I'm... fuschia!" he exclaimed. Lily, Mary and I were getting a stitch from howling with laughter, as were the rest of the class. And then James did as he does best. He puffed his chest out, rose his chin, and turned straight to his best friend in pride. "I rather think I suit it. Brings out my feminine side." With a pose he sent everyone into tears again, making my first lesson quite memorable. I had a feeling life wouldn't be so quiet here, especially as I'd be spending it with the definition of anarchy. My chortles had died down into little chuckles by the time we'd all fled the room, thankful Flitwick was a light-hearted teacher. I had pranked a blooming Marauder and gotten away with it! Or so I thought.

"I know it was you." I was startled by the warm breath I suddenly felt on my neck and retracted away, turning to see shaggy black hair and an annoying smirk. "I won't tell him, though. Or I might. Which do you think would be more entertaining?" he teased. I watched as he produced an apple from his robes and turned it thrice in hand, shining it with his robe, before taking a bite.

"I've no idea what you're on about," I assured him. He continued to watch me as we walked to Transfiguration and I was worrying with Lily now out of my sight. "What? Do I have something on my face?" I crossed my arms and wished I wasn't so damned awkward.

"You've intrigued me." He took another bite, having no problem speaking with a mouthful no matter how gross. "Does 'Miss Galdwyn' have a name?" he said with a grin. I had to admit, his smile was charming and I couldn't help but feel my anger ease away.

"Well actually, funnily enough, I don't." We rounded the corner and I sighed in relief at the sight of Professor McGonagall waiting outside of her classroom door. "My parents didn't want to give me a first, thought it much too common. What a silly thought, being named!" Sarcasm seeping through into my voice, I pushed into the classroom and smiled at the bark of laughter that followed me.

Somehow I'd done the exact opposite of my aims. I'd sparked the attention of someone important. If I started meddling with things, who knows what could happen? Dumbledore thought that was my quest, but I wanted no part in ripping up the timeline and ruining my favourite books for good.


	4. Diverting Conflict

****A/N: Whoo, a new chapter! Hoping I'm portraying our faves to a worthy standard, and wish you all fun reading! I'm really loving writing Sirius right now, although it's hard to stop James from sounding like an asshat - whoops. Let's just call him an endearing asshat, shall we?****

 ** **Again, thank you so much for all the follows etc., they mean so much!****

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I kept having to remind myself that this was all real, that I wasn't in some cruelly long-winded dream. But with this being reality, it made the idea of returning home to my family seem so much farther away. Like it was just out of my reach and I couldn't pull myself back through. Dumbledore had no more news on the matter but my new friends stopped me from feeling too isolated. I had friends now, and they cared for me even if they knew me little. I wasn't completely alone.

The water from my goblet was refreshingly cool and I downed it in one, placing it back onto the table and craning to look at the hooting coming from above. I was sat next to Mary, eating my breakfast in peace when dozens of owls flapped their wings and dropped parcels and letters, thankfully not defecating over the entire Great Hall. But then an envelope glided down and landed neatly in my lap. At first, thinking it must have been meant for someone else, I turned it over. __Elspeth__ was scrawled on the front in unrecognisable handwriting and I quickly slotted my finger under the seal. The contents baffled me and I couldn't make sense of the name.

 _ _First you must guide Severus Snape. You know what to do.__

I had to "guide" the _lovely_ , racist Severus Snape? What did that mean? "First", it said, were there more? Shaking my head and turning the letter in my hand, I searched for the name of the sender. But nothing. No signature, just blank parchment and a fiercely confusing request. "You know what to do"? No, actually, I really didn't.

"Who's that from?" Mary looked over my shoulder and I stuffed the article in my bag.

"My mother, the treatment's going well." Deciding that was believable enough, I dropped my bag back onto the floor and was about to continue with my breakfast when I caught a flash of grey and black mixed with our house colours out of the corner of my eye. "Just what I need right now," I murmured to myself.

"Elspeth!" Sirius called my name triumphantly, scooting in beside me.

I frowned in confusion. "What?"

"That's your name, I found out your name," he said with a smug smile and stole one half of my sandwich, shoving it into his mouth before I could grab it back. "Quite pretty. But I'm named after a star, that's hard to beat."

"The Dog Star." I muttered, taking a bite of my remaining food and scowling.

He cocked an eyebrow. "How'd you know that?"

I almost choked and remembered I should be playing things as low-key as possible. "Well, I like astrology." I shrugged as if to say it was common knowledge but he gave me another look and I was mentally kicking myself. "What? I do."

"Fair enough. What're you doing for free period?" he asked. I wanted to hate the way he spoke while eating, but I couldn't.

"Why do you care?" I questioned him. I wished Mary was more of a morning person, if so she would have socked Black in the face by now. But instead she was napping again, mouth wide open to let out soft snores and head resting on the table.

Sirius sighed. "Will you ever just answer a damn question without objecting?" he said through another mouthful of ham and cheese. I smiled and shook my head before he continued. "Prongs has Quidditch practice and frankly I'm getting bored of being his lone cheerleader."

I smiled to myself at the thought and turned to him, now sitting sideways on the bench. "And?"

"And you're coming. Bring Lily along too, that'll get me back on his good side." He tried to stand but stumbled and almost fell back onto the stone floor. Riddled with laughter, he shuffled a bit before regaining his composure. "Totally meant to do that."

"Why me?" I asked and crossed my arms in defiance. "I'm sure your charming personality is a magnet for company, get one of you friends to tag along."

He sighed again, getting impatient. "Moony- er, Remus, as you might know him, is busy with utterly drool-inducing prefect duties. And Pete's got extra studying. Plus, I don't like anyone else."

I smiled just a little and, being nowhere near as stubborn as I should be, grabbed my bag. "If I somehow get injured or maimed in any way I'm taking you down with me."

"I solemnly swear that you will be under no danger." Sirius held out a hand which I looked at in suspicion. "Shake it or the deal isn't sealed." And so I did, happy it wasn't some trick to break my arm. Because I seriously wouldn't doubt he would try.

"I'll go round up Lily, but trust me when I say she'll come kicking and screaming." Turning on my heal, I glanced over my shoulder to catch his words.

"See you in the stands, Miss Gladwyn."

Wondering what I'd gotten myself into, I searched the tables for Lily in hopes I'd catch her before she disappeared to the Library. It took a while but soon I found her chatting – or rather, ranting – to the boy from Charms yesterday. "I'm doing it again, aren't I? Sorry, Sev, just trying to get it all out instead of murdering the bastard." Ah, Severus.

I scooted in next to the redhead and poked her shoulder. "I've got a really big favour to ask and you'll probably reconsider our newfound friendship," I said. She looked back and forth between Snape and me before prompting me to continue. "I need you to watch the try-outs with me."

"Okay, and why would that be a problem?" she asked with hesitation.

"The presence of a certain Quidditch Captain. Name rhymes with Lame Trotter."

She tried to muffle her groan before an idea struck. "Can't, studying. Isn't that right Sev? You're helping me with Potions." Lily nudged the stringy-haired boy in encouragement before he coughed a quiet "yes."

The two were still friends at this time, best friends. If I remembered right, Severus wouldn't have fucked everything up until next summer. Wait- did that mean? The letter! What if I had to stop that from happening? Like Dumbledore said, someone or something might have put me here to change things, to make things right. Could that someone be the one who sent the letter?

That was decided. Severus Snape was my first task.

Leaning past Lily to speak to Snape, I gave a little wave. "Nice to meet you! Mind tagging along?" He seemed surprised that I directed my speech towards him and looked to his friend for help. "Come on, you two! Don't leave me all alone with Black!" I whined, pouting and waiting for an answer.

"I suppose that would be quite cruel. Isn't Mary hoping to replace one of the beaters?" Lily asked, and I nodded. "Alright. But only to support her!"

I clapped and jumped from my spot. "Hurry up! At this rate we'll be late."

Evans turned to Snape with a look of pity. "You don't have to come if you don't want," She insisted.

Because the boy would undoubtedly refuse and decide to hang out with the wrong sort, I interjected. "But it would be lovely if he came, Lils."

And that was how I found myself trudging down to the Quidditch pitch on a Wednesday morning, jumping in puddles and covering my boots with mud caused by the heavy rain that came the day before. Mary, still groggy from her nap in the Great Hall, jogged by my side and started pulling her ringlets into a bun. "If I miss my chance at knocking Potter off his broom one day I'm blaming you Gladwyn!" she exclaimed. Maybe I should have woken her up?

Severus and Lily hung back a few feet, trying not to get splashed by my haphazard skipping. "Stop being so boring!" I laughed, kicking some dirt and getting a speck on the girl's nose.

"Oh, Elle, that is it!" Lily squealed. And then to my great surprise, she crouched down and scooped up a handful of mud in her bare hand and propelled it at me, hitting my leg and soaking my socks. I squealed and tried to get her back, instead sending a ball of brown straight into the hem of Snape's cloak.

Me and Lily froze, awaiting the boy's reaction. But instead of storming off or grunting or berating me for being a "silly little girl", he smirked. Severus Snape smirked. I didn't think someone of such character was capable of anything more than a deadpan expression. "Watch it," he warned. It sounded playful, almost like banter.

I nodded and went back to walking, though with a little more grace this time. The shouts nearby indicated that we were rounding up on the Quidditch pitch and I kept an eye out for a certain scoundrel. Well, I needn't have tried very hard since about ten people in total had arrived to watch. There was that and the fact that Sirius was on the highest bench bellowing at the top of his lungs. "Come on, Prongs! I've seen a giant fly a broomstick better than that!"

"Good luck, Mary!" I exclaimed, giving my friend a quick nudge. I then started ascending the steps, Lily and Severus behind me.

"I'm beginning to think this wasn't such a great idea," Snape muttered and began to slow.

I looked over my shoulder momentarily. "Maybe you guys should hang back a bit?" I suggested. The two of them gladly kept their distance while I clambered over to the Marauder, dropping down by his side. "How's it looking?"

"I suggested you bring Evans, not Snivellus aswell." He wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms like an infant having a tantrum.

"You didn't specify that, so suck it up." I leaned back and watched the events unfold. "How come you don't play?" I'd always thought the inseparable Sirius Black and James Potter would have played Quidditch together.

"Did for a few years, got boring," he said. I got a bit distracted observing how his eyes flicked from left to right, watching as Mary sent a bludger towards another player. "Merlin, she's going to break her wrist if she keeps that up."

The brunette was getting a bit... __enthusiastic__.

"How come," he mirrored my words. "you only joined Hogwarts in your fifth year?" My head snapped up at the unexpected question and I shifted uneasily in my place.

"Well, um." God, I was never good at lying. "Family problems. Dad died and Mum... yeah, she's ill now and-"

"I'm sorry, you don't have to say," Sirius interrupted before my lies could spiral further. For once he looked serious, and I saw what might have been empathy in his expression. Empathy, surely, because he had such a shit mother who clung onto Pureblood tradition with every inch of her insanity. Though I shouldn't know that. "She knocked him off his broom!"

The subject ended and changed as Black jumped from his seat, leaning forward to get a better view. It was safe to say Mary was now one of the Gryffindor beaters. Although, elected because of her talent or out of pure fear? I wasn't quite sure.

"So what's up with you and Potter?" I queried, trying to keep up while Sirius was practically jogging down the steps.

"Hm? Wha'd'you mean?" he huffed.

"Earlier, you mentioned getting back on his good side. Did you have an argument?"

"Oh, that." He barked with laughter, feet hitting the grass. "He lost a bet and wouldn't admit it, being an arrogant prick, so me and Pete slipped some veritaserum into-"

"You what?!" I grabbed his arm, pretty sure that that was not allowed in any way. "That's-"

"Illegal, yeah I know. I trust you not to tell anyone." And he held a finger to my lips, stopping me in my tracks. "Because if you did, I mean, Prongs might find out who made his hair that wonderful shade of-"

I batted his hand away, cutting him off again. "Do it. Like I care."

"Padfoot!" The black haired boy stepped off of his broom and bounded towards us. "Hey, what's Snivelly doing here?" James turned his nose up at the boy by Lily's side.

"We were supporting our friend." Lily pulled at Severus' hand, pushing passed Potter toward MacDonald.

Before I knew it a bolt of red light shot past my face, missing by an inch, and landed at the heels of the Slytherin. "What-?"

James, Sirius, and Severus all had their wands drawn. While Snape was tense the other too seemed more amused than anything else. "Just a joke, Snivellus. Wouldn't want this to turn into anything more, would we?"

This was _not_ how it was supposed to go. Sometimes I'm not the greatest at acting quickly, I _do_ before I _think_. This was one of those moments. I strode forward, getting angry now, and snatched the wand straight out of James' hand. It was a given that I probably wouldn't have succeeded without the element of surprise. "How old are you?" I looked the Gryffindor straight in the eyes, fighting not to look away and my heart pounding.

"How is that relevant in __any__ way?" James asked and looked at me as though this was all some big joke.

I held the weapon out to my side at an advancing Sirius. "I just wondered, since you're all acting like a bunch of squabbling children!"

"Alright, _McGonagall_." His tone was rather condescending. "Now give me my wand back."

And so I did. I slammed the piece of wood into his chest. Admittedly, a little harder than intended. "Sorry-" Now he was looking at me weird. Why couldn't I keep up an act? "Just- just try and get along okay?"

"You done?" Sirius piped up, looking confused at my outburst. I think I'd rattled everyone by now.

"Quite." Not wanting any more unnecessary conflict, I turned on my heel and joined a stunned redhead and her flustered friend. "Sadly, I've got to get to class." I announced. "See you later, Mister Black."

"Until we meet again, Miss Gladwyn!"


	5. The Powers That Be

****A/N: Hello again guys! Hope you enjoy today's chapter! It's a little shorter than what I aim for but I hope it satisfies your reading needs! If there's any confusion about the plot or whatever then just let me know. Things will make more and more sense as we go on. :)****

 ** **Hope you all enjoy and thank you for all the feedback and follows!****

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If I could describe the Gryffindor common room in one word, it would probably be 'snug'. The fireplace would roar with intense, ardent flames every single evening. The aroma was delicious and I found myself frequently sitting on the rug with my back to the heat while my friends were huddled on the sofa. Students would drape blankets and cardigans over the furniture, not minding if you might want to borrow one. Every now and again someone would bring back an extra cup of cocoa from the kitchens to help another with the exhausting amount of studying.

One thing I'd definitely learnt was that being a Gryffindor didn't mean you had to jump over a hundred metre wide chasm to save a stray dog and you certainly didn't have to be loud and brash and confident. Everyone here was their own person and almost always had the best of intentions. I'd never really given much thought to my house before everything became all too real. Okay, that was a big fat lie. In truth, I'd always just assumed Ravenclaw would be the place for me. It never felt quite right, but I guess it made sense? Bookworm, nerd, introvert Elspeth Winslow. What better place? Turns out I feel more at home with my fellow lions than I could have anywhere else.

It was comforting not to have to study on my own any more. Instead I was sprawled on my stomach against the carpet, a few scrolls of parchment spilling out of my bag and a fresh piece in front of me. On said bare parchment I was sketching a bowtruckle for the homework Professor Kettleburn had given us yesterday. To my absolute delight, mere hours after the awkward almost-duel, I'd traipsed down to the grounds to find no other than Sirius Orion Black.

"Didn't take you for the animal-loving type," I'd grumbled while joining his side, waiting for the Professor in his wheelchair to start speaking. "What made you choose Care of Magical Creatures?"

"Better than Divination with the centaur," he stated. "Plus, I'm actually quite the dog-whisperer." He had then giggled oh so lightly, probably thinking his inside joke was hilarious. Thing was, I was in on it too. He just didn't know that yet.

"Gladwyn? __Hello__?" My head snapped up in response, eyes blinking. "Good to see you're not brain dead. Black wants you." Lily stuck a thumb out and jabbed it behind her before getting back to chewing on her quill and scanning through her textbook.

I slowly stood, shovelling my stuff into my bag and stretching out my cramped muscles. "This better be worth it," I whispered to myself. Taking small steps of hesitation, I made my way over to the table I was being called to. Upon reaching them, I started laying out the groundwork. "No, I will not spy on Lily for you lot and no, I will not-"

"Why do you always assume the worst?" Sirius interrupted, smiling innocently. I had known the guy a week and could already tell this wasn't going to be some casual request to play chess. "Don't look at me like that," he said, holding his hands up in defence. "Moony, tell her I'm not that bad!"

Remus sighed and lifted a tired eyelid. "He __is__ that bad." The werewolf smiled momentarily at the jab his friend gave him before going back to his nap. I felt so bad for him, he looked exhausted. How painful must it be to transform into something so... blood-thirsty?

"Since Potter's too busy ogling a certain friend of mine, would you like to tell me what you want?" I asked and pulled a chair up to the table, back aching from the weight of my books.

Peter gave me a kind smile before turning back to Padfoot. "You seem smart, mind letting us copy your History of Magic notes?" Sirius asked in an expectant way.

I scoffed, about to storm off. "And why would I do that? You're perfectly capable-"

"I __know__ I'm 'perfectly capable'," he assured. "I'm just lazy. And Wormtail needs the help too, don't you Pete?"

The mouse-haired boy nodded. "But I wouldn't want you to think I'm rude. I don't mean to- you don't have to!" Peter stuttered and I felt a smile begin on my lips at how adorable the boy was. Hey, I couldn't help it, it's not like he was a cowardly traitor __yet__.

"I'll help you out, but if I see you giving Sirius any notes I'll tell Professor Binns you stole them. Got it?" The conditions laid out, I handed the research over and had to hold back laughter at Sirius' face.

"Are you bloody kidding me?" He gaped at Peter's smug look and tried to snatch them, though the other's reflex was too fast. "How come Wormy gets them and not me? You're cruel."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw an arm raise and realised Remus had offered a high-five. "You've got no choice now, Padfoot," he said sleepily. My hand hit his with a thundering clap, only irritating the boy more.

"But History is so _boring_! Binns is less entertaining than a plank of wood!" he whined. I, however, disagreed. About the subject, that is, not the teacher. "It's due on Monday and I wanted to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow."

"Then you can do it on Sunday," I chirped in a high voice, standing again and slinging my bag over my shoulder. "Coming? Astronomy next."

"I'll pass," Sirius huffed, still annoyed.

"No, you won't. And you won't pass your OWLs either if you don't keep your attendance up." I reached out and tugged at his elbow, pulling him up in encouragement. "And we can't have Astronomy without our brightest star, can we?"

I'd succeeded in getting him to class with the con of inflating his ego tenfold. "That's sweet of you to say but flattery doesn't work on me." He gave a proud grin of shiny white teeth before grabbing his bag. "Luckily for you, I'm in a good mood."

Was it possible to get your eyes stuck from rolling them too much? Because that was honestly being added to my never-ending list of worries now. "Wonderful."

The hike to the tallest point of the Astronomy tower made me thankful for leaving five minutes early. Slightly out of breath, I sat at the first desk I saw and had to bite my lip to stop myself from screaming. I'd forgotten my telescope.

"Forgotten your telescope?" Ah, my personal parrot.

Trying to keep the irritation out of my voice, I grumbled a quick "Might've."

Sirius placed himself to my left and held a rusty bronze object out to me. "Have my spare."

Shocked, I took the scope. Our hands brushed momentarily, for not even a millisecond, but the contact made my cheeks fill with heat and my stomach with metaphorical butterflies. "Thanks," I muttered to him quickly.

Right on time, Professor Ambrose burst through the door and silenced the gentle hum of chatter with the single motion of slamming her books onto the desk. The act was purely on accident and she surprised even herself, jumping at the loud bang before giggling and pushing back a strand of her fly-away hair. "Right! Is everyone here? One, two..." Another lesson started and I tried my best to stay focused, but lack of sleep and the indescribably pleasant scent of the boy sat next to me were distraction enough. I wonder what cologne he uses? "Ah, Edmund, that would be a better question for Professor Binns-"

"Please, Miss! My cousin David's convinced his neighbour's from some alternate universe!" said Edmund, the Hufflepuff across the room. He spiked my interest with his claims and I straightened my back. "They say it's in the legends, the man that crossed time and space or whatever. But how?"

"It's all poppy-cock. Would've thought you smarter than that, Ed." retorted a sour Ravenclaw with a permanent scowl.

Professor Ambrose cleared her throat before nodding. "Well, most claim the stories to be mere myths. And I'd advise you not take them too seriously, old wives tales. But," she paused, striding across the room in her own eccentric way and pulling some pages out of a drawer. "They say there are certain powers in the stars, making their way across millions and billions of galaxies!" I was beginning to think she enjoyed these myths more than any of us, what with the way her eyes lit up. "And everyone once in a while, they would pick someone. A special being with passion and drive in their heart, the determination to make a change." With each word she spoke I could feel my pulse go crazy.

"That's complete rubbish!"

"Oh shut up, Finn! I think it's wonderful!"

"What would happen once they were chosen? _Why_ were they chosen?" My mouth moved before I could stop it and Black gave me a questioning look. "I told you, I like Astrology," I turned and murmured to him quickly.

"Well, that's not known for certain," Ambrose answered. "But there are stories of people turning up out of nowhere, no evidence of them existing before their appearance. And then there are also whispers of the opposite, disappearances. And then weeks, months, years after, they'll return. Or never come back. Some say they travel across whole dimensions and universes."

"Obviously they're lying. Or clinically insane."

"You don't know that!"

"What are you trying to say?"

The students voices rose in debate.

"One of the most famous stories recorded is that of Oz Daundelyon. His relatives reported him missing one summer eve after he'd received a mysterious parcel." This sounded all too familiar. "It was mere days later that he returned, aged dramatically! Claimed he'd really been gone seven years, altering some War in another world! Of course, they carted him off for psychiatric help." The Professor looked at her feet, voice trailing off.

Was that what happened to me? Surely not? It was just a stupid bedtime story. "That's enough for today," Professor Ambrose concluded, checking the time. "Oh, look what you lot have done! Right, I need your updated star charts next week!" Our teacher called out her request to anyone who would listen and sighed as half the class had already left.

"Elle?" Lily's voice could be heard over the crowd.

"Coming!" I called out to her.

Sirius nudged my shoulder and I batted his hand away. "Gladwyn? You alright?" he asked in concern. "Looking a bit pale."

"Yes. Yes. Quite fine," I mumbled the words, lost in thought.

Travel across whole dimensions? It seemed that I was in a completely different universe. Did these rumoured "powers" send me here? Or was it all complete poppy-cock, to quote Finn?

One thing I did know was that I had to see Dumbledore as soon as possible.


	6. Visions

****A/N: Dun dun duuuuun. I think you'll like this chapter. It might seem like things are going quick but trust me when I say this fic is gonna be a long one**** ** **!****

 ** **A little fun fact for you: Elspeth means "chosen by God"****

 ** **As always, thank you so much for reviews, follows and giving me the freedom to go so deep into my idea! I promise more Sirius/Elle soon and if you'd like to see more of any particular characters, let me know!****

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In nervousness, I scratched my arm and listened to the clacking of Professor McGonagall's shoes by my side. After the day's lessons, I'd managed to find the Scot in her classroom marking some work. "Whatever is the matter, Miss Gladwyn?" she asked at the sight of my slight hyperventilating.

I didn't tell her much, only enough to get her to realise how important this was. So here I was, traipsing down the corridors while tired students gave me looks of pity, thinking I might have gotten myself in a dreadful amount of trouble. In all truth I really did wish that were why I found myself having a staring competition with the gargoyle statue.

"Sugar quills," said the woman next to me. Password uttered, Minerva escorted me up the spiralling stone stairs and through the large double oak doors. "The Headmaster will be with you shortly." And then silence commenced.

I took this time to take in the decor of the office with a much calmer mind than the last time my breaths filled this air. Little silver trinkets whizzed about and it seemed there were hundreds more books than I'd first realised. I'd never get used to the moving portraits, snores of sleeping predecessors causing their chests to rise and fall as if they were alive. The largest painting was that of Armando Dippet, a man who seemed to have been quite generously proportioned. He was front and centre, behind the Headmaster's ornate chair.

I approached the beautiful bird-like creature that sat ruffling it's feathers. Said feathers were a stunning array of bronze and red and orange, giving an effect of fire. "Nice to meet you, Fawkes. My name is Elspeth, but you can call me Elle," I said and gave a little curtsy, pulling at the sides of my school skirt and laughing quietly to myself.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a familiar piece of tattered fabric and took small steps towards the shelf on which it lived. An outstretched hand was enough to wake the Sorting Hat, coughs of dust coming from the flap which acted as it's mouth. At this movement, I retracted my fingers. "Miss Winslow, what brings you here?" The wrinkles in the worn leather gave it such an expression I had to stifle a giggle.

"When you sorted me," I started. "How much did you see? Of what I know, of what should come in the future?"

"Does that concern you?" Leather folds raised like eyebrows. "If it does, you should not worry, child. Since what does the future matter if it's all going to change?"

My breath hitched in my throat and a chill ran down my spine. "What? What do you-"

"I see you two are becoming quite acquainted."

I spun on my heel and smiled at the presence. "Of course. Dumbledore, I've found out-"

"Take a seat, Miss Gladwyn," the man interrupted, seemingly wanting me to slow down a bit.

"Thank you." I pulled the chair out and barely waited for the Professor to sit before continuing. "Apparently you – wizards and what-not – have stories and legends. Like what mermaids and dragons are- were, to me. About travellers. And powers in the stars and all this other stuff. And Oz Dandelion or something!" I was blurting it all out and trying to remember every detail from that Astronomy lesson, hoping the man would have an answer.

"Daundelyon, and yes, I am familiar with these myths. And I assume you think you are connected to them?"

I nodded my head furiously. "But it makes so much sense! Doesn't it? Do you not believe it? Perhaps I'm being naive," I trailed off, trying to read his face.

"It _is_ far-fetched, we have no proof of how truthful any of that is." My heart sank. "But, it would be silly not to consider it, would it not? I said myself that someone or something may have put you here for a reason."

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Even the hat said I have some sort of task. And I received an anonymous letter only the other day! Saying to guide Severus Snape" He looked bemused. "It'll probably make more sense to me than to you." A flicker of surprise danced in his eyes. I hated feeling so out of control and this was starting to make me feel better. "I've done a lot of thinking, and I'll stay vague at your wish, but if I'm supposed to do what I think I need to, we need to stop Voldemort."

Something foreign struck Dumbledore's face. Was it fear? "And how do you plan on doing that?" he asked, looking uncomfortable with where the conversation was going.

"Well, finding and destroying his Horcruxes would be a start." There it was again, with every word I spoke the Headmaster's eyes widened and returned back to their neutral expression. "I know where they'll be in twenty years. How much can change in twenty years?" I chewed on my lip and realised that a lot could change in such a time span. "On Halloween day, 1981, he's going to make his final Horcrux on accident. Seven... he made seven. How many will he have made by now?" I was thinking aloud now, not bothering to filter my speech.

"Miss Gladwyn." I snapped my head up, mentally sewing my mouth together. "The world will wait for you, but right now it is time for rest," Dumbledore smiled weakly.

He had a point, I needed to slow down my thoughts and plan. Plan something that was coherent and wasn't babbled deliriously to a teacher.

"Okay, but it's not like I could do anything helpful anyway, right?" I asked for reassurance more than anything. A feeling of solidarity and safety. A feeling that I'm not all alone in this adventure. I gave a nervous laugh but stopped at his mere sigh. "Alright. Goodnight, Professor."

With that farewell, I left the room and closed the large wooden doors, earning a loud creak from them. Wanting to think, I walked slowly to the common room, a million ideas and memories coming to mind. How would I even destroy them? Fiendfyre would work, but I'd probably just set myself on fire. And it's not like I could open the Chamber of Secrets... or could I?

One leg through the portrait hole to the Common Room, a blinding light took over my vision. At first, I thought some bloody first year was practising their charms. How great would that be? Blinded by chubby little Archie Dogwood or Tabitha "Bug-Eyes" Louth. But I soon realised that the problem with my sight was coming from within. I could barely feel my body and tried to find the floor before my face would for me, faint sounds of people talking to me rang in my ears.

And that's when I saw it. A whole scene unfolding before my eyes, and it felt as if I were really there.

 _ _Shining brogue shoes were brought up and down as a tall figure sauntered over to... a body? Oh my God, was that a dead body? It was so dark, I could only see slithers of leaves shining under the moonlight. And those shoes, freshly polished and strangely menacing to watch as the cloaked figure got closer and closer to the body. When he cast a light charm, I saw his face. High cheekbones, gaunt but not at all ugly on his, well, handsome face. Red eyes almost glowed under dark curls and I felt sick with fear. Every inch of my body was telling me this was wrong. Everything was happening at once, getting louder and louder and then the body came into detail.__

 _ _"Poor, stupid boy. What a waste of such talent, to spill magical blood__ _ _,__ _ _"__ _ _hissed the strange man.__ _ _The words were spat with so much venom I could feel them in my veins.__

 _ _My eyes focused on his victim and d__ _ _ark grey eyes stared back at me, unblinking. Sirius Black was dead on that cold forest ground.__

"Elle? Elspeth? What's wrong? Can you hear me?" And as soon as it came on, it was over, the common room coming back into view. "Oh, thank Merlin! What happened?" Lily shook my shoulders and held out a glass of water.

With a shaking hand, I pushed back a strand of hair and faced my friend.

"He's going to kill him."

...

"Are you _sure_ there's nothing going on?" Alice asked for the millionth time that morning.

I nodded again, though desperately wanting to read my book. "Honestly, I know you're only making sure that I'm okay but it was just a dream. Hallucination or whatever," I assured her, hoping that if I said it enough I'd believe my own words.

I was quite hysterical after the ordeal, I mean, wouldn't you be if you'd just witnessed a murder? It wasn't real but it felt so vivid and disturbing. But the second I saw those same grey eyes scrunched up in concern, I knew it was all just some weird vision. He was here, he was okay, and he was __alive.__

"But you said someone was going to die! Even if it was a dream, there's not some underlying cause, is there?" Lily was adamant I was concealing something but I couldn't tell her a thing, I didn't want anyone worrying over me.

"Yes, I'm depressed and think about death a lot. You've caught me, now I'm going to cry into your shoulder until all the pain goes away." My retort got a scoff in response and I tried to get back to reading my admittedly boring novel.

Alas, my friends had other ideas. A girl burst through the door in a very dramatic manner. "Mary MacDonald!" a girl shouted. Dorcas' dark eyes searched the room until they lay set in stone on the curly ringlets they saw. "I am about up to here-" she gestured above her head. "with your damn childish antics. Stop telling McLaggen I fancy him!"

"Why would _I_ do such a thing?" The other witch sat up on her bed, excited that she had a distraction from her homework. "It's not like _someone_ stole my chocolate frog and I'm extremely mad about it."

"You offered me that frog!" Dorc exclaimed. "And it's not like you didn't eat the other five you had stashed in your trunk."

"Oh, you two, just kiss already!" Lily shouted at the bickering girls and threw a textbook, hitting Meadowes in the leg and causing silence to fall over the room. The giggles started off quiet but grew until we were all guffawing, as if the situation were much funnier than it really were.

I wiped a tear from my eye and rubbed at the soreness of my aching tummy. "Where's Marlene? Quidditch practice?"

"Yep," confirmed Mary.

"Again?" Alice blinked in wonder at how the girl could be so obsessed with the sport. Fortescue really did hate it. "Well, why isn't Mary there?"

"I didn't know 'bout no practice. She's probably off stickin' her bum out at that boy she likes. Ravenclaw's keeper," MacDonald scowled and it was my turn to berate her.

I threw my book at her without care (it really was an awful story) and pulled my covers further up my body. "Although that's probably true, stop chatting shit!" Shivering at the cold, I leaned off the side of my bed in search of the jumper I threw somewhere earlier. "I can't believe anyone's outside right now. God, it's freezing!" I complained.

"You're gonna have to get used to it because we're all going down to Hogsmeade for lunch," Lily stated matter-of-factly.

To this, I shook my head. "Er, nope. No thanks. Outside? Socialising? Not my forté."

"Do you think I care? You'll let the whole group down if you don't come."

Alice jumped up in agreement. "Really, Elle. It'll be fun! You get on with Sirius, right? Pretty sure them lot'll be down there."

I gaped at Alice. "If by 'get on' you mean _tolerate_ , then yeah."

Lily laughed loudly and continued pull clothes out of her trunk. "I think I know exactly what you mean. Now, what to wear?"

These girls were going to be the death of me.


	7. Hogsmeade

****A/N: I am SO sorry for taking so long to update! Things have been rather hectic and I've been lacking the motivation to write, as well as planning my own original**** ** **novel**** ** **. However, today I gift you a dialogue-heavy chapter that's all just a fuzzy and happy day out for our characters! And don't worry, we'll see more of the Marauders soon**** ** **.****

 ** **Hope you enjoy, and keep leaving me your feedback!****

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Bundled up in a thick shirt, a cosy jumper, my coat, and the warmest scarf I could find, I trudged along the sludgy path to the village. My immune system isn't the best and a cold is not an option with all the schoolwork I have to do. I could be stuck here for the rest of my life so you can bet I want to have a plan for my future. But let's not go down that road, I might be reduced to tears at the thought of my family.

" _ _Let's get it on!__ " Lily was currently singing – or rather, wailing – a bit of Marvin Gaye and thrusting her hips into Mary's side.

The other girl just rolled her eyes and pushed her away quite roughly. "Save those moves for Potter. I'm sure he'd appreciate them," she drawled.

I laughed and Evans sent daggers my way before slapping MacDonald's arm. "Don't joke about that!" Lily said, all shrill and embarrassed.

"She's not joking," I said and linked arms with Alice, pretty sure my nose was already bright red due to the sub-zero temperature. It wasn't even October yet and I could only imagine the weather come Christmas. "What exactly are we going to do? I've seen enough of Tomes and Scrolls to last me a lifetime."

Al looked at me strangely. "You've already been to Hogsmeade?"

"Oh," I coughed. Bugger. "Yeah, visited it in the Summer. You know, to get familiar with the area." It was getting harder and harder to keep a track of my lies. Luckily, that sufficed and I could take a breath. I hated lying to them but that was just how things were meant to be until I could figure out what I was doing.

"Lils? Where's Severus?" I asked. That was one thing, keeping track of Snape was becoming tiresome. My plan had been to keep the Slytherin away from any wannabe Death Eaters. So far, I'd seldom succeeded. "Not with Mulciber, I hope?"

"That's exactly who I'm scared he's with. Sev keeps hanging around with the wrong sort, they're all so horrible. How can he agree with their views and still be friends with me? I'm muggle-born for Merlin's sake," she huffed and crossed her arms over her body.

"He loves you a lot, Lily. I can tell. You're his best friend and if you pester him enough I'm sure he'll listen." If I got Lily on the bandwagon, this would be much easier.

She let out a long sigh again. "I guess, I just don't want to annoy him and push him away even more."

Mary pushed past us. "Enough talking 'bout that miserable sod, I'm off to Honeydukes!" she exclaimed.

"I'm with you, I need to buy Tuney's happiness with Every Flavour Beans. Doubt she'll eat them though," Lily said, ending her sentence with a solemn tone. Her relationship with her sister wasn't the best.

"Good luck keeping them off me before the holidays!" Mary teased. MacDonald and Evans sped ahead, slipping a few times before disappearing into the crowded street.

I watched as my breath condensed in the cold air and created little swirls, like the breath of a dragon. "Can't wait 'til it snows."

"You and me both," Alice chimed, motioning for Dorcas to follow close behind. "Where to first? The Three Broomsticks? I'm absolutely dying for a butterbeer." I was going to nod in agreement but I think that even if I had protested we'd still end up in the same place.

When my eyes first laid on the interior of the pub, I smiled. The colour scheme was an array of warm tones from brown to gold and bottle green. Here and there you'd see a lilac jumper or a navy coat to break it up and the tables were packed with students, mostly. Although the odd teacher or pensioner could be seen. I could smell chicken pie and cider mixed with soft musky notes and __God__ this was making me hungry.

Working at the bar was a young woman, no older than her mid-twenties, with tendrils of cinnamon coloured hair pulled into a loose bun on the top of her head. She stopped momentarily to tighten the head scarf falling onto her forehead before beckoning us over. Her lips curved into a kind shape as she ran a dirty rag over the worktop. "What'll you ladies be having, then?" she asked.

"Three butterbeers please, Madam Rosmerta! And I'm awfully hungry, could we have some toast aswell?" Alice made our order.

Fortescue started to count her galleons while I threw a few knuts into the mix. I didn't have much, but McGonagall saw to it that I wasn't broke. Pocket money, just like my Mum would give me. Finding a table wasn't a pleasant experience, especially when some familiar faces started moving their belongings aside.

"Miss Gladwyn! What a coincidence this is," The boy in front of me remarked. "Or maybe it's fate?" Sirius Black shoved Peter further to the side, patting the seat next to him.

I watched for Alice's reaction but she only nodded in encouragement. Dorcas, however, was looking her usual displeased self. "Hello Peter! Sirius! Where are James and Remus?" Alice greeted them both.

"Moony's gonna meet us here after he's picked up some boring books. Dunno about Prongs. Probably put chasing tail." Sirius seemed disinterested with his friends' whereabouts. Though I knew deep down he couldn't wait to be reunited with James.

Scoffing, I reluctantly sat down beside the Gryffindor, making sure to leave a suitable amount of space between our legs. Dorc and Al slid in next to me, looking rather awkward while doing so. "So, what do you all think of the weather?" Alice tried desperately to generate conversation.

Black was the first to laugh but I quickly followed in suit. "Oh, the weather's just fabulous!" Sirius exclaimed.

Alice looked a little annoyed but a few giggles escaped. "I was only trying to keep things interesting! Not my fault the rest of you are so grumpy!" More laughter. "I'm wishing I'd stayed at the castle and studied with Frank now," she told us, huffing. "I'm off to get our food."

And so she stood, her hair creating a golden tornado with the way she turned on her feet and grabbed Dorcas' hand.

"How's the History homework going?" I asked the boys, purposely directing the conversation towards Peter, just to get on Sirius' nerves.

The boy shifted in his seat and smiled. "Your notes really helped! I already finished it last night. Thanks, Elspeth," Peter said, flustered.

"Call me Elle."

"Oh, get a room!" Sirius complained.

Padfoot's joke made my cheeks feel as though they'd been burnt with a hot poker and I pulled my scarf further up my face. "You're just annoyed that I won't reinforce your laziness!"

"And _you're_ blushing! How cute." If I hadn't been furiously glaring at him I'd have missed the wink he sent my way.

"Could you two please stop arguing!" Alice chimed in as she and Dorc arrive with food and drinks. It sounded more of an order than a plea.

After a bit more harmless banter, we all started to get along. Remus soon arrived and was a lifesaver in stopping Sirius' worst remarks. It was weird to start viewing these people as, well, people. They weren't just characters in a book, I hadn't jumped into a movie, they were complex designs of emotions, organs, capillaries and chemical reactions. They were real, and they were my friends?

Right out of the corner of my eye, I watched as perfectly messy locks of hair got closer to my face. "What are you thinking about?" Sirius said quietly, almost a whisper under the ramblings of our friends. My head almost dropped of from it's position resting on my hand.

"Um, nothing," I told him. That gained me another odd look. It was as if he could see right through me, to the point where I felt rather uncomfortable. Never had been a good liar. "Just mulling over how nice it is to have friends, I guess." Shrugging it off, I brought the warm cup of liquid gold to my mouth again. I don't think I'd ever tasted something so amazing, it was a consumable form of home and Christmas and cold winter nights.

"You'd consider me a friend?" I barely heard his question over Alice and Remus' current debate. "I thought you'd sooner send me six feet under," Sirius said. His tone was more whimsical than caustic.

It felt as though someone was tugging at the sides of my mouth, forcing me to smile until my cheeks hurt. "You may be an insufferably cocky bastard sometimes, but I've grown quite fond of you lately," I told him. A flash of pearly white teeth were his response. "But don't tell anyone I said that, they might start to think I actively _enjoy_ your company."

"Because that would be such a travesty," Sirius said sarcastically. There was something odd in his smile. "You're not too bad yourself, Gladwyn."

"Merlin! Is that the time? Must be going!" Alice stood abruptly from her seat, interrupting my eye contact with Sirius and grabbing my hand. I was confused until she wrapped an arm around my waist and spoke while we turned toward the door. "Mary signalled for us." A quick peek through the round, foggy pub window showed a bobble hat moving back and forth, barely keeping it's place upon the owner's head.

The cold was crisp in my lungs from the contrast of inside the warm pub and I hissed through frozen teeth.

"Something's wrong with Evans. Her and Potter had a conversation without hexing each other," Mary said in all seriousness and grabbed Dorc by the shoulders.

Dorcas frowned as any worry drained from her face. "We thought it was something important!"

Lily ploughed into the other girl with a grunt, giggling all the way. "Stop, Mary! I haven't forgotten about your incredible talent in spreading rumours like fiendfyre!" Her cheeks were a similar shade to that of a rose, either due to the temperature or the current conversation.

"I personally think you'd make quite the duo." I chuckled at the look Dorc gave me and hooked an arm through hers. "He can't be all that bad, can he?"

"Me and Potter? You're going to make me gag," Lily said and rolled her eyes.

"That's quite the opposite of how you felt not even ten minutes ago-"

"Besides, I could never date someone who argued that Celestina Warbeck's tits were saggier than McGonagall's."

"That's disgusting!" Alice exclaimed, going red in the face and trying to stifle her giggles. Me? I was almost wetting myself with laughter. Each of our brains were invaded with awful images but we couldn't help but laugh in shock.

"Change of topic, please," Dorcas muttered, still cringing.

"Agreed. Elle, what's with you and Black?" Mary gave me a quizzical expression as she bit into her chocolate frog. "He's worse than Lily's boyfriend." MacDonald received a sharp elbow into several of her ribs.

"Nothing. Al, don't look at me like that!" I could feel the flush of my face and looked the other way. "We're friends! That's all, he's not my type anyway," I assured them.

"If you say so." Mary said in scepticism. "Wanna take a gander at the Shrieking Shack?" The girl raced ahead, pressing herself up against the fence that separated us from the old building. "Say, Evans, how's about I give you two of my chocolate frog cards if you break into it?"

"Breaking and entering is not on my list of things to do." Lily joined her side and shivered.

"Don't blame you." I knew the shack didn't really contain ghouls or ghosts or frightening creatures, but it was still a little unnerving. "Isn't it the most haunted place in England?"

"Something like that."

"Come on, guys! I wanna go grab a hot chocolate then curl up in bed and neglect my studies." Alice stuck her bottom lip out in a pout.

"To the kitchens?"

"To the kitchens."


	8. Blanket Forts and Butterbeer

**A/N: I'm SO sorry I haven't updated in so long! Life's been busy and had it's ups and downs, but everything's alright now. Lil bit of character bonding today! I hope you all enjoy, sorry it's a little short. Thank you for all the follows and reviews and favourites, I really appreciate them! :)**

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No more than two feet out of the girl's dormitory, a large piece of fabric flew straight into my face. Myself, having no co-ordination, stumbled down the steps and ended up sprawled across the common room floor along with several of my textbooks.

"Are you bloody kidding me?!" My fingers grasped at the sheet and I eventually pulled it away, regaining my sight. "What? Peter? _What?"_

"Oh- oh, sorry Elle!"

"I said pass her the blanket, Wormy, not attack the poor girl." Remus Lupin ran a hand over his face in an exasperated manner and approached me. "Before you ask, Prongs thought it'd be a grand idea to beat his previous record and create the biggest fort possible."

"Fort?" I queried, scanning over the room.

"Yes. As in blanket fort. As in, an activity that normally only entertains infants."

"Oh, Moony. Stop pretending you're not having fun!" Sirius slapped his friend on the back and rested against his shoulder. "Lend us a hand, won't you Gladwyn?"

I sighed and ran my eyes over the mess of stationary I'd dropped. Initially, the idea was to go and find Mary to study, but a distraction was welcomed at this point.

"Count me in." I crossed my arms over my chest in a challenge and smiled at the momentary flicker of surprise on his face. "But if Professor McGonagall throws a fit, you kidnapped me."

"What an interesting kink-"

Sirius' voice cut off and was replaced with the satisfying sound of a cushion hitting him square in the jaw. "Oi! Padfoot! D'you reckon our partially insane headmaster would mind if we continued this into the corridor?"

"Too far, James." Peter piped up.

"Agreed." I trod carefully over the litter of string and pillows left by the boys. They'd managed to get several third years to join in and were readily receiving dirty looks from a few older girls. "And you might want to keep an eye on Tabitha. She looks as if she'll either gouge your eyes out or triple that detention you got last week."

And so, half an hour later I found myself skimming through A History of Magic with my back up against the wall, legs splayed out on the soft duvet underneath me. It was kind of weird, how well I got along with these troublemakers. It was as if I'd known them all my life. I guess - in a weird, one-sided way - I had.

"Go on, Moony. Tell her what you did!" Potter nudged Remus, sloshing the almost-definitely-smuggled butterbeer in his hand. "You're such an arse, you know that?"

"What?" Now he'd teased the information, I had to know!

Lupin shook his head, a grin forcing it's way onto his slightly freckled face. "No."

"Come on! Fine." Black leaned forward in enthusiasm and held his hands out ready to make motions with his storytelling. "So, Quidditch practice last week. We're all in the stands, heckling James-y here. Crowd's going wild!" Ah, ever the dramatic.

"There were maybe three people watching, Sirius."

"And I get on my broom, kick off-"

Padfoot then interrupted Prongs. "And he falls flat on his face!"

At this point, all four of them are in hysterics and I'm dreadfully confused. "But why?"

"You don't get it! Oh, Merlin." He coughed and lifted his shirt a little to rub his probably sore abdomen. I might have internally swooned a little... "Moony replaced his broom with a Muggle one!"

It took me a moment to realise. "Oh my God." And now I was laughing too, so much it was ridiculous. And I spent the next half an hour listening intently to their stories, the ones never written in detail, the ones I could only ever think up on my own before.

Hiccoughing, James stood on wobbly legs. "S'getting late. 'Night." A quick check of my watch made me gasp. The small hand flicked onto the number ten.

"Uh, yeah, good idea. Slughorn's giving us a test tomorrow morning." Peter gave me a sweet smile before following after his friend. "Coming?"

"Too tired to even stand." I let out a dry laugh. "Working up the energy."

"I'll leave you two to take down this mess." Remus quickly bailed on me and Sirius, leaving us in an uncomfortable silence.

I piled up my books, ready to exit the makeshift tent, before jumping at the hand on my arm.

"Won't you stay a bit?" Black's tired eyes looked at me through heavy lids. "It's surprising how little I know about you, considering how you practically stalk me."

I let out an exasperated breath in disbelief. "I do not! You follow me around, annoying me!"

"See? All we do is bicker. Not that I'm complaining, you're fun like that." I could smell the alcohol on his breath and sighed, shifting a bit in my place. "What do you do in your spare time?"

"Spare time?" I scoffed. "That's a rare occurrence considering how much homework Binns gives us." He rolled his eyes. "Alright. I like to draw. Though I'm not very good. And read, I like to read a lot. Lord, I'm making myself sound awfully boring."

"I don't think you're boring at all. Quite the contrary really."

"Really?"

Silence. With a tension of some sort, so thick you could whip out a butter knife and slice it through the atmosphere.

Until he spoke again. "What's your favourite book?"

I paused to think, making sure my reply was correct. What did it matter? It's not like he cared. "Pride and Prejudice."

Sirius laughed. It was loud, but something told me it wasn't unkind. "What?"

More tipsy chuckles. "It's... just not what I expected, I suppose."

"What do you mean by that? Have you even read it?" I crossed my arms in mock offense.

"Of course not." He winked, and took another swig of his drink.

Chuckling, I nudged his leg with my foot. "What do you do in your spare time? God forbid you actually have hobbies aside from counting how many detentions you can land yourself in twenty four hours."

He stuck his tongue out me and took a moment before opening his mouth. "Guess you could say I'm alright at piano."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, it's not like I learned out of my own free will and passion. 'Tis the joys of living with an extremely racist Pureblood family." His tone had gone sour, losing all the humour it held moments before.

I didn't really know what to say to that and instead played with my hands, my heart pounding with pity for him.

"Talking about corrupt home lives, what did you do before Hogwarts?"

"Well," I started, not being able to explain how empty my life felt before I laid eyes on this castle. "I had friends, I guess. Correction - friend, singular." He gave me a questioning look. "What?"

"Sounds lonely." Black mumbled, and I think I might have felt him pitying me in return. "Any siblings?"

I jumped at the question. "Oh, urm. Yes. Three." Silence. "But they're Muggles, so, you know... What about you?"

He had one, Regulus Black.

"Mhm." Sirius nodded into his firewhiskey. "Though it's safe to say me and Reg aren't on the best of terms."

"Oh." But of course I knew that. And I knew that he'd run away and disown them sometime this summer, probably. But I couldn't say that, just like I couldn't say a lot of things.

"Well, Miss Gladwyn. Shall I escort you to bed?"

I blinked before standing abruptly. "You shall do no such thing!"

"What?- no! No, that's not what I meant!" And he laughed and laughed. It was a sound I thought I'd never get tired of, all husky and loud, like a bark of joy.

I couldn't help but smile and tug at his arm, pulling him up into a slightly drunken stupor. "Now, _I_ should escort _you_ to bed, Mister Black." He made little wheezy attempts at giggling but gave up, slumping his weight into my body as I guided him through the common room. He was heavier than I thought he'd be and I was quite petite at only 5 foot 4. It made for quite the scene. "Ugh, Sirius, come on!"

After a few trips and falls to the floor, I clicked the boy's dormitory door open and shoved him through, catching a wave before shutting it behind him. I just hoped he'd make it to his covers before passing out.


	9. Grass Stains

****A/N:**** ** _ _ **Trigger warning -**__** ** _ _ **there will be mentions of mental illness and anxiety disorders from here on out**__** ** **.****

 ** **One thing I knew for sure when I started writing this was that I wanted to touch on mental health in the Wizarding World. It's heavily hinted that in the books Sirius came from an abusive household and**** ** **with**** ** **the way he's written**** ** **, to me,**** ** **he shows a lot of signs of PTSD. I myself suffer from bad**** ** **a**** ** **nxiety and these books have helped me tremendously through**** ** **the years**** ** **.****

 ** **I really hope you all enjoy, your reviews really motivated me so thank you!****

* * *

The panic started in the morning. The second I woke with bleary eyes I just knew it was going to be one of those days. __Breathe, Elspeth, just breathe__ _ _.__ I chanted it in my head like Mum used to, rubbing my back and pushing the tears away with her sore, cracked hands from too many years looking after four children. It was kind of silly, thinking magic might just cure my messed up brain. Suppressing the anxiety only made it worse but there wasn't really anything I could do on a day packed with lessons. So I numbed my mind as best I could and stepped out into the common room with a tight chest and trembling hands.

"Ah! Elle!" Lily called my name and I flinched at her greeting. "Oh, are you alright?" she asked, probably noticing my irritability.

"Of course," I replied and gave her a weak smile of reassurance. "Just feeling a little under the weather."

"Well, if you're sure?" Oh, how lovely this girl was. Her eyes just oozed sympathy and I knew even having only known her a month that she was every bit the woman the books described. "Prefect meeting this morning. I hate to ask, but could you hand my homework into Binns for me? I was supposed to yesterday because of the meeting but I forgot and-"

"Calm down, Lils. 'Course I'll give it in." I took the parchment from her outstretched hand before she could take back her wish and stuffed it into my bag with my own work. "See you at lunch?" I asked.

The witch squeezed my arm and nodded before joining the other prefects in the common room, throwing a hand up to wave me farewell. I decided to skip breakfast since my queasy stomach abhorred that idea for the moment. Potions wasn't too bad, quieter than usual. And still, my shadow seemed to find me on the way to History of Magic.

"Morning, Gladwyn," Sirius said with a smile until it faltered at my silence. "Are you ignoring me?"

"No, Sirius." Today wasn't the best time for banter and I was close to snapping.

"I wanted to talk about the other night. I was rather drunk, and I apologise for that," he started. "But I was wondering, well, what exactly happened? Between us?" He chuckled in a forced way and scratched the back of his head.

I scoffed. "Nothing, Sirius. We bonded over how monumentally fucked both our family lives are. Wouldn't expect you to remember." The words came out harsher than I intended and I felt so bad, so incredibly bad as soon as I saw his eyes flinch. But his features returned to their usual state in seconds, covering up any hurt I might have inflicted.

Before my heart could thrum with guilt any longer I pushed past him, having to lean my whole body weight into the classroom's heavy oak door before finding a seat near the back. Usually I'd have to deal with the boy's sarcasm whispering in my ear for the next hour but today my eyes scanned the room to see him nudging James, laughing. It hurt. Hurt that I had to push people away like this. I knew it was stupid but I couldn't help it. Though I also knew my mental illness wasn't as excuse for treating the people I love like shit.

"Right, open your books at the page we left off," Professor Binns' voice croaked into the air, growing in age as he did. I barely even registered Alice setting her books down next to mine.

Today's lesson was about Merlin and normally I'd listen with pricked ears and wide eyes but my thoughts were more than distracting. __Look what you've done, Elle. Sirius probably hates you now. You ruin everything__.

"Miss Gladwyn, would you care to read the paragraph?" _Oh n_ _o_. Immediately, my whole body burned as I felt the eyes of the other students on me and I frantically searched the page. What paragraph? Where were we? _ _This is what you get for not listening__. "Miss Gladwyn?" Adrenaline pumped painfully into my feet and willed me to run as tears pricked my eyes just making everything a whole lot worse.

"Um, Elspeth's not feeling too good today, Professor!" A sing-song voice sounded from my side. "I'll read, if that's alright?" At first, Binns looked confused. But then he nodded and accepted Alice's request. I only just caught the look of pity she gave me before hearing the words of the page in front of me tumble out of her mouth perfectly.

I was so embarrassed. I spent the whole lesson convinced I'd made such a fool out of myself I'd have to migrate to Wales and live in a cave with dragons. I swore I could hear the others whispering, but when I looked up they were all either half-asleep or scratching their quills along parchment. And when we were all excused, I bolted out of the door with Alice.

"Are you okay, Elle? I don't want to ask if it'll make you upset-"

"Oh, Christ!" I slammed a hand into my forehead and brought my feet to a stop. "I forgot to hand in Lily's work. Sorry, Al, thanks for saving me back there, I'll see you later!" Waving to the confused witch, I started in a light jog to get back to the classroom. I had to stop myself from practically hurtling into the room when I heard hushed voices.

"Mr. Black, this is just not acceptable. Are you _trying_ to earn yourself another detention? You're one of my brightest students, so much potential." Binns' silver beard waggled as he spoke to Sirius. I hovered at the door not knowing what to do. "I'll let you off lightly this time, but I expect that paper on my desk tomorrow morning," The Professor finished with a look of disappointment.

"Of course, Professor," replied his student. I could hear the disappointment in his voice too. Disappointed with himself.

I coughed, causing the both of them to whip their heads in my direction. "Oh, um, sorry. Lily's in a meeting, I have her homework?" My voice raised into a question as I approached his desk and watched Sirius Black leave behind me.

After exiting the classroom for the second time that morning, my body slammed into something tall and lean. "Sorry-"

"Eavesdropping, were we?" Sirius smirked just a little, winking before motioning for me to walk with him.

Flustered, I stumbled to gather some words. "No! Of course not! I just-"

"It's alright, Gladwyn. Are you okay?" Everyone was asking me that today, was I really so transparent? It's not like I could say, what if they thought I was a freak? "You can talk to me, you do know that? But I'm not going to push you," he said and gave me a playful nudge.

Could I talk to him? Something told me yes but my brain was yelling at me to keep it bottled up. "Well. Could we, er, could we go somewhere quieter? No, don't you dare make a joke," I stopped him before he could make a quip.

"Hm, I've got to up my game. Becoming quite predictable aren't I?" Sirius laughed. I nodded. "And of course, anything for my Elle. I've got a free period next anyway."

We both walked in silence on the way to the grounds, all through the halls and all the way over the bridge. It was good to be outside, the air was cool and clean in my lungs. The grass still held dew when I collapsed onto the green blanket of blades but I didn't mind, really.

"So," Padfoot said, leaning back on his hands and looking onwards to Hagrid's hut as he spoke. "What you're going to tell me is that you're a top secret spy with plans to take over Hogwarts, starting with my death?"

I let out a dry laugh and plucked grass from the ground with my fist. "Obviously." Throwing the confetti into his lap, I gathered my words in my throat. "Well, I don't know where to start. Do you even have Wizard psychiatrists?" I turned my head and looked up at him through my lashes.

It was meant mostly as a joke but Sirius furrowed his brows in confusion and shook his head. "What in Merlin's name is a psychiatrist?"

"They're doctors. Healers, even. For mental health instead of physical health. They help fix your mind when it's ill." This was proving hard to explain. "And my brain is ill, and I'm trying to get better. Generalized anxiety disorder, that's what it's called."

I prepared myself for an expression of disgust, for name-calling. But when I looked to my left I saw eyes deeper than a black hole, filled with understanding and empathy. "I'm sorry about that," he said. And I could feel he meant it. Nothing could match the relief I felt when I breathed out. "So, are you in pain a lot? Are there other... brain sickness'? Like Spattergroit and Dragon Pox, but for your head?"

I frowned. "Yes, sadly. A lot. And you can't just drink a potion and it's gone. A lot of people don't understand, you know, because it's not physical, you can't see how nasty it is." He nodded along. "Is this really all new to you?"

"Seems that's one thing the Muggles are more advanced with," he said with a sigh. My breath hitched when he reached over and ran a thumb over my hand. "Sorry I'm a royal arse sometimes."

I smiled at him. "And I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier. I don't mean to be."

"I know, brain sickness." He pointed to his own skull. "I'll fight anyone that makes it worse."

Warmth radiated from inside me and I jumped over to my friend, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Thank you, Sirius." My words were muffled by his jumper. When I pulled away he looked a little sheepish. And then I felt a coldness on the top of my head before I started sneezing at the grass tumbling down my hair. "You bastard!" I cried out.

And when my day was destined to go wrong – to crush me and churn me up in a blender – it ended with grass-stained knees and a hoarse voice from laughing.


	10. Twenty Three Cobbletones

****A/N: WOAH! I have to give another apology, over a month since I last updated? I've been lacking so much motivation and my ideas haven't been flowing, but I've manage**** ** **d**** ** **to get out another chapter for you guys! Again, I really want to improve my writing so**** ** **reviews are**** ** **appreciated! I hope you all enjoy, love you guys!****

* * *

How exactly does one take down the most powerful dark wizard still breathing? I have no idea where to start. I don't know how Harry did it. First, to find all of the Horcruxes. Some might not be too troublesome to dig up, but I knew others were going to be a nightmare. I have clues, but in a completely different lifetime they're rather useless. And secondly, I'd have to find a way to destroy them. Obtaining a basilisk fang? Near impossible without setting a giant homicidal reptile on the loose. Fiendfyre could be a possibility, but an extremely difficult one at that. And then there was Voldemort himself and his mortal body. I can't say I'm the best at duelling when last week Wilbert Towers sent me to the hospital wing with a bulging, red, and irritated ear after a miscast spell.

But first, I have a much simpler task at hand. Severus Snape.

"I don't know why you're so interested in Sev. Most everyone else avoids him like the plague. Wait-" Lily gasped and stopped me before I could take another step down the stone pathed floor. She'd decided to wear her hair up today, and it made her eyes look even prettier. God, I was so jealous. "You don't have a crush on him do you?" she asked.

I almost choked on my own spit. "What?" I shook my head furiously. Me? Crushing on Snape? I wasn't that superficial, but I can't say that his personality was very redeeming either. "Just. No! No, Lily." The thought made me shudder.

"Well, alright." The girl shrugged, hitching her books back up onto her hip and continuing at a slower pace than before. "I just think it's sweet that you see what I see in him."

"Trust me, I'm just platonically trying to guide him in a different direction. You said so yourself, Avery and the likes of him haven't proved to be the best influence." I gave her a gentle nudge will my elbow and smiled.

Lily returned the grin. "I still don't think he'll come to Hogsmeade tomorrow. He'd never for the life of him. Would rather have his nose stuck in that Potions book."

We both chuckled to ourselves like old friends. The laughter didn't cease as Lily almost knocked down a fellow classmate with the Divination classroom's door.

...

"Sev!" Evans called out for her friend while pulling at my hand. "Me and Elspeth have something to ask of you."

I don't think I'd ever seen the boy so terrified before. "Lily?" he asked suspiciously.

I eyed the other Slytherins sitting opposite to Snape at the table that morning. Mulciber, Avery, Rosier – to name a few. I recognised those names. All future Death Eaters.

"Would you please come with us to the village today?" The witch pushed her red hair out of her face and waited for his response. "Please? You haven't come to Hogsmeade in... what? Years, now?"

"Come on," I whined. I tugged at the boy's arm, though regretting it when he flinched. "It'll be fun," I said in reassurance. "You need to get out more. With _ _us__ _ _.__ " I could see every little debate whizzing around in his head. Every excuse to go. Every excuse not to go. Advantages, disadvantages?

"Alright," he conceded.

Me and Lily looked at each other, rather bloody shocked.

"You owe me five galleons, Evans." I winked at her and pulled her jumper. "We better get going."

"Sev?"

After a few seconds of contemplation, Snape threw his gangly legs over the bench and followed us out of the castle and onto the crisp leaves that had fallen. Halloween is looming in the near future and I don't think I can imagine it without Hattie and her top-notch horror film picks.

"Looking forward to the holidays? Normally I'd be having the week off school, but it's not like that here, is it?" I tried to spark up some small talk and it was somewhat successful in passing the time while we made our way down the long, winding path.

As usual, the village was bustling with students. Though a lot less busy than the first week had been. I didn't doubt we'd run into Dorcas and Mary at some point. They'd had plans for Madame Puddifoot's if I remembered correctly.

"Where to?" I asked and turned to Severus. He merely shrugged and looked quite uncomfortable, jumping a little at the noises coming from Zonko's. "Tomes and Scrolls? It'll be quieter in there." I suggested. Lily seemed to agree, heading in that direction. The small bookshop was as quiet as ever, a thin layer of dust covering most books untouched by the human hand for more than a couple of weeks. "Stuffy in here, isn't it?" The few galleons from my bet with Lily made me excited. I could purchase a new book or two. Severus seemed in his element, skimming through textbooks and novels of all sorts. "Here, I know a read you'll like." I skirted around the corner, bumping into someone very tall and lanky.

"Oh! Elle?" Remus Lupin looked down at me, a new scar near his right eye.

"Remus! Sorry about that!" I exclaimed and brushed myself off. "Was just looking for something for-" Was it wise to mention his name? Lupin seemed more civil than his other friends. I settled on "For a friend." Smiling, I pushed past him and stuck my lip out in concentration. "Ah!" The old copy of __Frankenstein__ was battered, the cardboard of the hardback cover showing through.

"Mary Shelley? That's some dark stuff," Moony said and subtly raised an eyebrow.

"Precisely why I think he'll like it." I smiled and turned my head. Someone was calling my name.

"Coming! See you later, nerd." A punch to his arm and Remus' soft chuckle at my departure was a pleasant sound. As I approached Sev, it looked as though Lily was _trying_ to recommend __Sherlock Holmes__.

"I'm telling you, you'll love it!" she insisted, practically pushing the novel in his face.

I heard him mumble something about Muggles."I'm not reading it."

Taking a deep breath, I slammed the book I was holding into the Slytherin's chest. He went stumbling backwards a few steps before regaining his balance. "Yes, it's written by a Muggle. No, it's not rubbish. It's exactly your thing, so stop being... racist, and give it a go." That felt good to get out.

"Racist?" He looked startled and quite frankly insulted.

"Yes." I crossed my arms. "Lily's Muggleborn, so am I. Just because the book is written by a Muggle doesn't mean it's any less well-written."

"I... I never said that." He almost looked hurt that I would insinuate such a thing, which didn't make any sense to me. Did he not realise how he came across?

"That's certainly not the idea that your mumbling gave off."

After a few moments of very awkward silence, the boy nodded his head. "If you say it's decent, I'll read it."

Slightly surprised, Lily smiled. "Great, Sev. I'll buy it for you."

"No, Lily-"

"Shush."

After a quick purchase, I walked out of Tomes and Scrolls, very glad the tension had eased and feeling triumphant about the exchange.

"Shall we grab a quick butterbeer?" Lily enquired.

As the weather grew colder I found myself craving a warm drink and nodded in agreement with the other girl. On the way to the Three Broomsticks I kept a count of every misshapen square of cobblestone the sole of my shoes hit. _Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-_

"Watch where you're going!" Lily's laughter vibrated in the air like a wind chime, thankfully snapping me out of my daze and saving my nose from impacting into a lamp post.

"You're quite the daydreamer, aren't you?" A voice lower than my friend's could be heard from a few feet away and I lifted my eyes to see no other than James Potter.

"You could say so." That word was one I was very used too, every relative at every family gathering seemed to love the way it rolled off their tongue in regards to me. It was a round hole and I was a round peg. "Where are the others?" I asked him, searching for his usual shadows.

"The others?" He feigned ignorance and I could already sense Lily's annoyance.

"Drop it, Potter. You know who we mean!" Lily rolled her eyes.

"They'll be here in-" The boy twisted his wrist, pretending to look at a watch. Muggle humour too? "Five, four, three, two... one."

As if on queue, two bodies came hurtling from down the street, tripping over themselves and guffawing for whatever reason. Sirius and Remus sped towards us, heads darting behind them as they were, what? Being chased?

"Where's Wormy?" James called. "Merlin, he's not been eaten has he?"

"You bastard!" Black slapped his friend on the back. "I hate you, you know that?"

"Seriously, guys. I think Peter's in trouble," Remus huffed.

"What in God's name is going on?" Lily demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. Snape seemed to be shrinking into himself, hoping not to be noticed.

"Long story. Hey, it's Snivellus!" Sirius exclaimed, taking a few steps towards the other boy. "Where are your fellow minions?"

"Back off, Sirius!" I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him back a little. "I cannot deal with this today. Where's Peter?"

"Scroggs'... heh... Scroggs' dog." Remus had his hands braced on his thighs, still huffing from exerting himself. "I think the dog got him."

"Fucking brilliant."


	11. Mr Scroggs' Dog

****A/N: A new chapter already? You guys are probably SHOCKED :')****

 ** **I had SO much fun writing this chapter! I can feel the ideas flowing again, all the bits and pieces coming together!****

 ** **Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter and again, I hope you enjoy this one. :)****

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Mahlon Scroggs was an ancient man who'd lived every single day of his extended life in his cottage on the outskirts of Hogsmeade village. But Mahlon Scroggs was not a sweet, fragile old man. Mahlon Scroggs was scary and mean and owned the world's most terrifying St. Bernard.

If you had a shred of common sense, you daren't even use the path that went by his house. The Marauders were smart, cunning and ruthless pranksters. But when it came to things like this, I doubted any of their brains were functioning properly. For James, in particular, it was as though someone had opened up his skull and numbed his fear receptors.

"So what you're telling me, is that you jumped his fence and tried petting his dog, at which point said dog went berserk and somehow escaped its collar and leash?" I asked in disbelief and brought a hand to my face as Potter nodded.

"You've got to be joking!" Lily exclaimed, following in suit as we made our way to the crime scene.

"I wouldn't put it past him," Severus murmured, making the mistake of speaking loud enough so that the others heard.

"What was that?" James stopped in his steps, causing Lily to crash into the back of him. "I'm trying to be civil, Sniv-"

"James!" I shouted his name a little louder than intended. "Sorry. Actually no, I'm not sorry. Both of you, please behave!" The two exchanged looks. "At least until we've found Peter?" I proposed, holding my breath in hope.

"Alright." Potter nodded. "And sorry, Evans." Aside from the wink, I think that was the most mature he'd ever acted in front of me.

"You're being such a bore, Prongs- oof!" Sirius was silenced by my elbow digging into his ribs.

As we approached the residence of Mr. Scroggs, the building seemed to loom in a creepy manner. Which was odd, considering how small it was. The bricks had a million cracks with vines and other vegetation weaving it's way into the spaces and patterning the exterior in the same manner that capillaries would thread through your body. The roof was thatched, though had not been refreshed in a while from the looks of the straw. I might have even caught a glimpse of a bird's nest nestled in the dormant chimney.

"Bit of a fixer-upper, isn't it?" I observed, peeking through the cracks in the wooden fence. The planks lined a neat shape almost all away around the cottage, only at the back there was a wire barrier tied across a broken opening. "That's where you got in?" I asked.

Sirius nodded. "Well, that's where _I_ entered. You know, since I'm not Prongs and didn't spend a full ten minutes climbing over a six foot fence."

"Only because you said that was the only way!" James shoved his friend, laughing, and I rolled my eyes. "Then the sod ran off-"

"Alright," Lily cut him off, barging passed and pulling her sleeve fully over her arm to protect it from the brambles of the bush she was pushing to the side. "While you two reminisce, I'm actually going to go and save the sorry arse of your best friend."

Both of the boys looked to each other as if to say, "she's got a point, you know," and side-stepped passed the bush after her. I took a deep breath and readied myself. I didn't count on the day being this eventful.

Just as I was about the shimmy through the bushes after my friends, I stopped myself when I felt that nagging feeling you get when you've forgotten something. "Sev?" I called the boy's name, confused by his hesitation to follow.

"I think I'll stay here." His eyes darted from me, to the house and to the path back to Hogsmeade before returning their gaze back to my outstretched hand. "You know, as a look-out," he explained.

I could hear my friends calling me from the back.

"You sure?" I asked finally, my feet itching to go see what was happening.

"Certain. Go on, Gladwyn. Those half-wits are waiting for you." If I could trust my eyes, I think I may have seen a smile twitch at the corners of his mouth. A smirk, maybe? I knew I was giggling _myself_ at his comment.

So that was it, I disappeared behind the bramble and shielded my face as I found my way around the back of the house.

When I rejoined the others, Lily and James had already ducked under and through a gap in the spiked, wire fortress. From here, you could see right into Scroggs' garden. Though it wasn't much to look at – bulbs dug up from their home in the soil, mould stippled along the outside of the shed, and grass rather overgrown.

"You first?" Black lifted a boot, the sole thick, and trod down on the middle barbed wire to the make the gap big enough for a careful body.

"Right. 'Course." I nodded in reply. One step, a snag on my jeans. Two steps, a rip in the armpit of my jumper. Another breath and I was through the gap, feeling the wetness of the wild uncut grass seeping through my shoes and dampening my socks. "Brilliant. What now?" I turned to Sirius and asked.

"Honestly hadn't planned any further," Padfoot admitted, ducking in behind me. "Wormy!" He started calling for Peter. Lily, Remus, and James had seemed to have gone off investigating.

"Shush!" I jumped forward and clapped a hand over his mouth. "You'll get us bitten by that rabid dog!"

"Is nought rawbid."

"Pardon?"

He pulled my hand away. "It's not rabid. Only very _aggressive._ "

Scoffing, I lightly slapped his chest and proceeded to tiptoe towards the shed. Thankfully, the latch was rusted and unlocked, though the door was jammed a little. After some help from Sirius, we managed to peek inside.

Nothing.

Apart from a pile of broken plant pots, a few bags of compost and possibly manure – could that be where the stench was coming from? – there was no sign of Wormtail. Suddenly, I caught sight of a tail. It was quick, darting. Perhaps a mouse? It ran out of the open door and I followed, almost tripping over Sirius. And then a shriek made me stop in my wake.

"Elle, just back away. Slowly, small steps, okay?" Lily reappeared, but with her came something else. In front of me was a large, growling dog. It was roughly the size of a man and that was without exaggeration. Well, _much_ exaggeration. Drool dripped from it's jowls in long, slimy strings and the saliva only seemed to make it's impressively large teeth shine. "Come on, move!" Remus shouted as the canine reared it's front legs. Before I could do anything, something wrapped around my waist and pulled me backwards into the shed, the door slamming shut and cutting off sight of the oncoming beast. I didn't hear anything more from the others outside.

"Holy- what the bloody hell just happened?!" I shouted out. I hadn't even felt myself fall backwards onto the floor but here I was sprawled across the ground.

Sirius' elbow jabbed my rib-cage as he tried to push himself up. "Sorry," he said with a laugh.

"I'm guessing that was Scroggs' dog," I said, brushing myself off. "Oh, Peter! What if he's hurt?" I tried to peek through one of the small openings in the walls.

"It wasn't _that_ scary," Sirius stated.

Ignoring him, I tried the door. I pushed my whole weight into it, only earning a creak. "Here, let me have a go." My friend tried after me, managing to loose one of the wooden planks but not enough to help us get out.

"Are you kidding me?" I huffed and started moving objects, until God himself seemed to have graced us with a way out. "Here! There's an opening. I think I could get through." I sized up the hole and sighed. Really didn't see me ever having to do shit like this.

"Go on, then. Have a go at the door from the outside," Padfoot suggested. And so I did, shuffling through the gap under the workbench. I hadn't registered how musty the air had been inside until I got a whiff of the outside again. I stayed quiet, though there seemed to be no sign of James, Lily, Remus __or__ the dog. That worried me. After a few tugs, the shed door opened once again. "Sirius-" The boy had jumped out at me and I shrieked, heart thudding in my chest. I didn't like admitting that. "I hate you with all that my heart can manage, Sirius Black."

He chuckled, which was different from his usual bark, and looked at me with something warm and indescribable lurking in his eyes. "You love me, Elspeth Gladwyn. Don't you deny it for one more second."

Did I? Something fluttered in my abdomen.

"Hey!" A whisper from around the corner made me jump again. "Over here!" Lily's voice hissed in urgency and we followed it to her, Moony, and Prongs crouching underneath one of the house windows. "You two alright?" she asked.

Sirius nodded. "How'd you get away from Spit?"

"You've gone and named the dog, haven't you?" I said in disdain, but couldn't help the smile that warmed my cheeks.

"Suits him. You know, because of the- okay, I'll stop."

"Turns out he was a big sweetheart," Lily said, taking glances through the window. "I don't think he was growling at you two. Something else spooked him."

"Well where is he now?" I asked, still paranoid.

James hopped from one foot to the other, legs getting tired of squatting. "In his kennel, tied to his leash. I have a way with dogs, you know. Every one I meet seems to be my best mate." He and Padfoot exchanged a look and I forced a confused look onto my face. This whole Secret Second Life thing was getting harder and harder.

"So, here's the game plan. First-" Lily stopped and turned her head back to where she had been previously looking. "Wait! Look! There's Peter!" she gasped, pointing at something inside. There, among the old and dusty furniture, stood Peter Pettigrew. The boy's dirty blond hair was mussed and his big round cheeks were awfully red. He seemed to be hiding around the corner of the cabinet, watching something out of view.

James tapped on the glass. The sound seemed to immediately alert the small boy, his head snapping so fast in our direction that I could almost hear his neck audibly snap. He tried to mouth something. _At least that's what I hoped he was doing_. Everything was kind of a blur with Sirius slipping on the wet grass and bashing his head into the brick wall.

"What in the hell were tha'?" A thick Scottish brogue vibrated out of a deep, rattling voice of which you knew had spoken a great many things from simply hearing a cough that it had elicited. "If it's ye louts back teh steal me pots, I'll skin ye alive!" Really, the accent was that thick. Almost comical if I weren't worried he'd actually skin Wormy alive.

"Great, Sirius. Go and alert the owner of the property we're trespassing on that we are not only trespassing on their property but that there is a fucking child stuck in his house!" Lily hissed in frustration.

"Hey, Pete's not __child__!" The boy corrected her, a playful tone still rich in his exclamation.

Almost having had enough, a knock on the man's front door made us all freeze. Scroggs grumbled a few more swears before rising from his creaking armchair and answering. I was surprised that the voice I heard at the other end was familiar.

"Ah, Mr. Scroggs. My name is Severus Snape and I am here on behalf of the Potions Department at Hogwarts. We were wondering if you have any asphodels in your garden?"

"That boy is our saviour," I choked out. I could almost cry.

James scoffed. "Yeah, proper knight in shining armour."

"Shut it, they're coming into the garden!" Lily urged us to leave.

And in some kind of miracle, the four of us skirted around the corner again, escaped to the front door and freed Peter. It was only after we were a few good yards up the path that I could finally breath.

"What happened, Wormy?" The boys seemed a weird mixture of amused and worried. Poor Pete looked as thought he was about to be sick.

"Well, er," he started. "The dog scared me, jumped up at me. And I managed to get into the house. Um, got stuck in there. Yeah, didn't know what to do." He toed the ground with his plimsolls. "Thanks, guys, I dunno what I would've done without you."

Snape soon joined us, looking unimpressed. "You're welcome."

"Thanks, Sev." I can't remember when I started calling him that. I don't think he seemed to mind any more. "You're a genius, you know that?" I smiled and patted his arm with my hand.

Remus nodded. Sirius pulled a face. James looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, that was a good one Snivel- er, Snape."

And that was the day that James Potter first shook hands with Severus Snape.


	12. Hazy Pastels of Blue and Green

****A/N: Well, er**** ** **. W**** ** **hat can I say? It's been a while and I'm so sorry I've taken so long to update! Truthfully, my mental health hasn't been the best, but I'm enjoying writing again :) Sorry it's a short one, it's going to take me a while to get back into the swing of things. Thank you for all the support!****

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The last three months of the year were always my favourite. I hated the heat of summer, it made my skin itch and I felt dirty. But each year when Autumn came, I was in my element. Halloween and Christmas were the holidays that made me feel at home and I was excited that the former was less than a week away.

On the morning of the 26th, I sat on the dorm window ledge with a blanket draped over my shoulders and my thickest, softest wool socks on my feet. It had been hailing all night but the icy beads had warmed to big droplets of water, sliding down the window and creating a little watercolour painting of its own. On car rides when I was younger, I used to follow the trails of rain with my finger, watching each drop race the other until it disappeared down the car door out of my view. I felt like one of the raindrops now. Falling through life until I eventually disappear without a trace.

Since the last Hogsmeade trip, nothing seemed too different. Severus wasn't exactly friends with the other boys, but it felt like a big amount of tension had eased between the lot. People so different would never be close, but now it didn't seem impossible to create some sort of truce between them.

"Elle, won't you pass me that hair grip?" I was pulled out of my daze by Lily's soft voice and hopped down from the ledge to pass her the grip from the bedside table. "Thanks!" she chimed. "This weather makes my hair so frizzy."

I rolled my eyes due to the fact that her copper mane was merely voluminous at most. "Yes, you look as so you've been electrocuted! That's a mess only Sleekeazy's could tame," I drawled. The remark earned me a thump on the leg.

Mary was leaning against the bathroom door frame, brushing her teeth. I noticed Dorc brushing an arm along the other girl's waist as she shimmied past her toward the sink. "Dorcas and I are going down to the library to study," MacDonald stated.

"She's failing History of Magic," Meadowes explained.

"Surprise, surprise," Mary said with a chuckle.

Alice pulled on a mismatched sock. "Well then. Elle, do you want to help me apply for a place in the Ministry's work experience program?"

"Oh, em, sure." I pulled my blanket tighter around my body. It was cold and I was feeling a bit off today, so I was glad we weren't going to Hogsmeade again. "What department are you interested in?"

She shrugged. "Not sure really. I'll take anything!" Fortescue laughed and hopped on one leg, pulling her jeans on. "You know, you sh- bye Lily!" She stopped mid sentence to wave off a smiling Evans who was leaving the dorm. "You should apply too! It'd be fun if we both spent the summer there."

I wasn't so sure. I was bad with new places, especially crowded ones full of adults and scary authority figures. God, it would be a nightmare. "Um, we'll see." I gave Alice a weak smile.

Alice and I spent the morning sat much too close the fireplace, filling out her forms. At some point Remus and Peter had come and sat near us. Lupin was relaxed back into the sofa, one arm draped across his tummy and the hand on the end of his other was flicking through the pages of a novel. Peter had hooked his legs up and over the back of the sofa so that he was upside down, head hanging off the edge of his seat.

It took him awhile, but he eventually got bored enough to strike up conversation. "Oi! Elle? What're you guys doing?"

"Internship applications," Alice muttered, chewing on the end of her quill.

"Oh. Right." Pettigrew sort of chewed his lip and looked about the common room. He really wasn't very good at conversing. But then again, neither was I.

I shuffled a little closer to the two boys. "Alright, Remus? Pete?" I asked. Remus nodded ever so slightly and his smaller friend replied with a quiet mumble. "Where are Potter and Black?" The four were inseparable whenever they could be.

"Prongs is with Padfoot I 'spect! Dunno where either of them are," Peter informed me with a shrug.

"With luck, they're not playing some stupid prank on poor Flitwick again," Remus said quietly.

Speak of the devil, Sirius thwacked his bag into the middle of the sofa. "I wouldn't worry about Flitwick. Bryony Winters though?"

"What have you done now?" I sighed, even though my insides were fluttering with joy at my friend's arrival.

He shrugged, but his smile betrayed him.

"Poor girl." I chuckled under my breath. It was tiresome keeping up with his antics. "What are you guys doing for Halloween?"

"Me and Frank are going to have a date night!" Alice replied, looking up from her parchment for a moment and smiling to herself.

"How romantic," Sirius drawled. "Moons has something up his sleeve, don't you Remus?" He elbowed Lupin. "We can't tell you though."

"Why not?" I crossed my arms when he did nothing but chuckle. "Fine, then." I stood from my place on the floor and grabbed my bag.

Alice looked up. "Where're you going?"

"Dunno."

As I stood, I had to halt my body. White slowly started filtering in from the corners of my vision and I quickly made my knees find the floor. The last thing I saw before the light took over was a pair of concerned grey eyes, the skin around them scrunched up in confusion.

 _ _Oh no, oh no, oh no! No! Not another vision! Not now, I don't need this! The light was fading, turning into hazy pastels of blue and green and rippling water. It was like coming out of the sea after swimming, the blurriness in my eyes focusing after a few blinks. The first thing I saw was two people__ _ _. T__ _ _hey were by the lake. What lake? I wasn't sure__ _ _. N__ _ _ot the Black Lake though. There was a boy__ _ _...__ _ _man? He had curls of black and frames that looked wonky, as though they'd been bent somehow. James? It was James! His arm was wrapped around the girl next to him, guiding her hand so that she skimmed stones perfectly. I knew who she was, I'd recognise that red hair anywhere.__

 _ _"Lily!" I called out, and the name seemed to echo loudly around me like I was in a glass jar, but she didn't even flinch. I searched the surrounding meadow and forest. There was a tent pitched a few metres away with a fire and all sorts of bowls and canned food. Why were James and Lily camping here? "Lily! James!" I tried again but the noise my voice made throbbed in my brain.__

 _ _And that's when I saw them__ _ _.__ _ _Sirius, Remus,__ _ _and Peter.__ __ _ _T__ _ _he latter two__ _ _were__ _ _hunched by the fire, hastily rubbing their hands together for warmth. And Sirius, he had his back up against a tree, turning something over in his hand. He looked up, eyes piercing into my pupils. "Miss Gladwyn." His voice, the sounds of this place were all muffled, like someone had stuck cotton balls in my ears. He smiled weakly and at first I thought he could see me. Me. But no, the body of another ripped through mine, like I was a ghost. She stepped through me as if I didn't exist. She was me. Another me? Elspeth, but not this Elspeth. Now walking away from me__ _ _,__ _ _was myself. Confused, and startled, I started to stumble backwards. Before I fell I snapped a twig and the other Elle turned to stare directly at me. And then my body didn't impact the floor, it didn't stop with a crunch of red and gold and brown leaves. I fell through the ground like I was dropping back into my own mind, and everything went black.__


	13. Blur Blink Focus

****A/N:**** **** ** **Hope you enjoy today's chapter! Keep the reviews coming, they keep me excited and motivated about this fic! Thank you**** ** **so much.****

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Blur. Blink. Focus. Blink. Blur again?

It took me a few minutes to jump out of the fogginess I was feeling. Around me I saw tiles. Tiles and white but not the white that put me here. I was in the hospital wing? I sat up, ignoring the dull headache I still had.

"Lay back down, Miss Gladwyn." The stern voice of Madam Pomfrey made me jump. "And your friend here needs to leave." She directed that sentence more at the other person than me.

By my bedside was a sleeping Sirius Black. His head lolled back and he was letting out the most hideous snores but that didn't change how bloody handsome he was.

Pomfrey _thwacked_ her clipboard against his chest so that his eyes fluttered open so quickly they almost bulged out of their sockets. "Oi! What was that for?" he demanded.

"Out!" she ordered with a raised voice.

Padfoot rubbed his chest, looking almost as confused as I felt. "Did I fall asleep? What time is it?" he asked.

"It's nearing lights out. Get back to your dorm, Mr. Black," The witch commanded a second time.

"Wait!" I held a hand out to stop them both. I needed to know what happened. "Madame Pomfrey, please may he stay for a few minutes?"

"No, you need your rest!" she insisted. Lord, I forgot how notorious this woman was for her stubbornness.

"Please! Just five minutes!" I practically begged.

With a quick grunt of defeat, she tapped a finger against her watch several times before turning to tend to the other few patients. I sighed and relaxed against my pillow. I was still wearing my uniform, but a thin blanket had been pulled over half my body. "I'm honoured," I said to my friend. He looked confused. "Well, you obviously cared so much about my well-being that you fell asleep at my bedside," I teased him, poking his shoulder. "You're drooling."

Not seeming embarrassed at all, he wiped his chin. "Always the romantic, aren't I?" he said with a wink. "Feeling better?"

"Oh, yes, thanks," I replied. I forgot myself for a moment there. I seemed to do that a lot around him. "Bit of a headache though."

"What happened back there? Not your anxiety thing, was it?" Sirius went back into protective mode.

What did happen to me? Was I getting these visions because of the time travel, because of whatever or whoever put me here? It was like I was seeing mismatched events that hadn't happened yet. Were they going to happen? If I was right, that would mean Sirius would... he would die? But, no! That was what I was supposed to stop!

"Gladwyn?"

"Sorry!" I apologised. "Got wrapped up in my thoughts. I don't know. Maybe I was just tired? I haven't been sleeping much." I chewed on my lip, watching him watch me like he always did. Was I really that interesting to look at? "You're burning a hole in my face."

He smiled. "Want me to sneak you out?"

"Why would-"

"Pomfrey's like an over-protective hawk. She won't let you leave of your own accord," he explained, standing up and extending a hand. I took it, frowning at the pang of pain my head made in protest to motion. "Now, we'll have about five seconds to leg it when she changes Blythe's dressings over there."

"How'd he get a gash that big?" I asked, the Hufflepuff student in question grimacing as the nurse fetched clean bandages. Surely some dittany would sort it out? Unless it was due to a curse?

Sirius didn't answer me, he only yanked my arm so hard he almost dislocated it and I found myself stumbling into a run behind him. The last thing I heard before the hospital wing doors closed was a loud yell coming out of Poppy Pomfrey.

"Better not break a bone anytime soon," I said with an exhale. God, I was out of shape.

He laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "Want to be my side as I go on a quick adventure?" he asked, and I could feel the mischief in his purr.

"We're supposed to be back at the dorms," I notified him. "And you say that so _innocently_ but I bet you five galleons that your plan is to sneak out of Hogwarts, steal a dragon, and go flying off into the sunset." I crossed my arms and watched as he walked in front of me.

"You know me so well." He must have known the castle like the back of his hand with the way he turned corners, knowing exactly where to go when it all looked the same to me. "Are you more of a coffee or hot chocolate person? Or are you a tea fiend like Moony?"

"Why?" I questioned, taking note of the fact that we were now descending a set of stone stairs near the Hufflepuff common room. __Oh__ , I realised. He was going to show me the kitchens. "Are we going to the kitchens?" I asked, like an utter idiot. How would I know about the kitchens let alone how to get there?

Black stopped and turned to look at me. "How'd you guess?"

My heart stopped. "Oh, I mean. I stumbled across it the other night when I couldn't sleep." I was never good at lying. Normally I'd just avoid the event in which I'd have to spin up a story.

"But how do you accidentally tickle a painting of a pear?" he asked dubiously.

Shit, shit shit shit! "Well, how did __you__?"

He grinned. "Touché, Elspeth." Thank God. "Well, as you know, the kitchens are right around the corner." Sirius was right, we walked around the bend and came across an oil painting in the corridor. It showed a fruit bowl with various fruits, but the one I was looking for was the green pear. "Would you like to do the honours?"

I stretched my hand out, tickling the surface of the canvas with my fingertips and jumping a little when the inanimate object started squirming. I still wasn't used to the magic of this place. The pear turned into a round door knob that felt like metal but was the same green colour. The entryway now revealed, I turned the knob and stepped into the kitchens. The room was large, very large. Exactly the same size as the Great Hall and exactly the same layout. It contained an identical set of five tables and a fire was kindling in the brick fireplace at the end of the room. Worn brass saucepans and pots lined the counter-tops along the edges of the stone walls and house elves walked about on their short legs, piling up plates and wiping the worktops, though overall it didn't seem like we'd caught them at a busy time. It kind of unnerved me that they were doing all this work. Didn't it bother them?

"You look surprised," Sirius stated. My friend strolled past me leisurely, a hint of suspicion still in his voice. "Thought you'd been here before?"

"I have," I sputtered. "It was just dark, I was tired. Didn't see much."

"Hmm." It looked like he was thinking about something. My breaths went ragged until he smiled at me again. "How about a drink?"

"Sir?" A small house elf looked up at Padfoot, as if awaiting an order. "How can Lolly help, sir?"

I pushed in. "Ah! Thank you, Lolly, but we're okay!" I wasn't going to make the poor thing go out of her way to serve us.

"She doesn't mind-"

"No, Sirius." I stared at him and he held something in his eyes. The seconds of eye contact felt like eternity.

"Of course," he chimed, now approaching some cupboards and pulling out a pair of mugs. "So, hot chocolate or coffee?"

I felt the corners of my mouth pull up. "Chocolate. I hate coffee."

He gasped, holding a hand over his wounded heart. "How could you? What did the coffee ever do to you?"

I watched him make our drinks and giggled. Yes, giggled. In this moment I felt happy, safe, at home. Eventually we found ourselves sat cross legged on the rug in front of the fire. The warmth of my mug between my hands and the flickering flames in front of me made me feel warm and snug, psychologically as well as physically. "This is nice," I said. I don't know why.

"Mhm." Sirius seemed to agree. He was never normally this quiet. He took his coffee black – surprise, surprise – and the aroma was overwhelming. Strong but pleasant, much like Sirius. After a while he set down his drink and fell back, stretching his legs out and splaying his hands on his tummy. "Sometimes I feel really sad."

"What do you mean?" I asked, perplexed by his sudden statement.

"Like someone's cursed me, and all I can feel is dark. Everywhere, in my fingertips. Like I'm trapped, or something's weighing me down." His voice cracked a little as he spoke.

This all felt really intimate. "Oh," was all I could say. I wished I was good at comforting people, I wished I could think of something to say.

"Sorry. Ignore me," Sirius sighed and shook his head a little, as if shaking his shields back into place. He nudged the side of my leg and chuckled, but it didn't sound genuine.

"Don't be sorry. You've done nothing wrong," I insisted. I laid down beside him, looking up at the ceiling. "You can confide in me about anything, Sirius. This is the 'brain sickness' girl you're talking to," I joked.

He didn't laugh. "I'm glad I've got you, Elle." Something burst in my rib-cage and tingled in my heart. "You mean a lot to me, you know that?" His hand found mine and I felt his fingers encase my own.

"You mean a lot to me too," I told him.

Because he did. He really did.


	14. Friend?

****A/N: Wow. Okay. WOW. So sorry for the break! I feel like I say that a lot though. Well, since I've had so much time off, I've got you guys another chapter written already! Stay tuned for that next week ;)****

 ** **I do hope I still have some readers left, but even if just one of you enjoys reading this, it's worth writing! I know I'm not the best writer, but I'm trying.****

 ** **Enjoy!****

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It was early. Very early. The sun had only just started to rise and faint streams of golden rays peaked through the clouds. It was around five o' clock in the morning, I think.

Halloween went as the holiday would normally go. I didn't see Sirius or any of the other boys much in the day, undoubtedly because they were hatching their plan. The feast was bountiful and absolutely gorgeous. I was stuffed by the end of it. Carved pumpkins hovered around with lit candles and every now and then a ghost would swoop down from the starry ceiling or glide effortlessly through a wall. About ten seconds into everyone dining, unsuspecting Slytherins started producing pustules and boils on their faces. I later found out that the Marauders had slipped something into their pumpkin juice.

This morning I found myself on the sloping lawns, overlooking the Forbidden Forest. The trees swayed and moaned, leaves scattering from the ground whenever a gust of wind blew through. The grass was still dewy and coated in frost, kissing any of my exposed flesh from where I sat. I loved the chilliness of the air. It felt clean.

I'd been thinking a lot, and worrying a lot, and feeling more alone with every day. Sometimes I had to run and hide in the girl's bathroom when I felt my heart racing and my eyes welling with tears. I relished moments like this away from all of the bustle of busy school days.

Two firm hands clasped my shoulders and I squeaked, a small dose of adrenaline giving me a spiking sensation in my hands and feet. I spun my head around and laid my still-tired eyes on the pair before me. Sirius and Peter. The two were wearing their pyjamas still, though looking rather rugged.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, realising after I said it that last night the moon had come out in full. Where were Remus and James, then?

"Morning walk to wake us up, eh Pete?" Sirius grinned and nudged his friend, signalling the other boy to agree. And he did, giving a shy smile. "What are __you__ doing here, Gladwyn?" Black asked, his tone mocking an accusation.

"This is where I sleep, didn't you know?" I said and patted the grass next to me. The two fell to the ground with a thud, splaying their limbs out and stretching. "Potter? Lupin?" I asked.

Sirius wriggled his bare feet into the ground. "Moony's not feeling too good and Prongs is nursing him like a mother hen," he said, scratching the back of his head. This was probably the most dishevelled I'd seen his hair, the normally loose waves tighter and a few matted locks here and there. I also noticed a scratch on his chin. Best not to ask. _Poor Remus_ , I thought. "Funny how we're always running into each other, isn't it?" Sirius pondered.

I laughed. "Like we've already established, it must be fate." Fate – well, that was what this was all about, wasn't it? Or at least I hoped. I bloody prayed that there was a _reason_ I was here and I wasn't just some ruddy accident, my worthlessness flung through time and all the other alternate universes for no other reason than random luck. Or lack of.

"What're you thinking about?" Peter asked, softly as always. It was strange, my friendship with this boy. I knew what he would come to do – should come to do – and yet I couldn't help but like him. In a way he reminded me of myself. Quiet, underestimated, underappreciated sometimes. "Elle?"

I coughed, embarrassed by the fact that I'd gotten lost in my thoughts again. I seemed to take it all in and never reply. "Oh, nothing. Just home." It wasn't a lie. "Staying at Hogwarts for Christmas?" I asked, secretly hoping I'd have someone to stay with me.

"Nah, Mum's too excited to see me again," Peter said, frowning at what must have been disappointment on my face.

I turned to Sirius, prompting his answer. He seemed to have read my body language since he pulled himself up to sit again. "Well, it all depends on whether you're staying too. I'm not sure I'd be able to tolerate you for that long," he teased, and I responded by poking him in the cheek. "Well, I think it'd be fun if we all stayed this year. Don't you, Wormtail? Think you can get Mummy dearest to agree?"

Peter blushed. "Yeah, 'course."

I smiled to myself. Christmas with that lot didn't seem like a bad idea. "Don't... don't stay just for me, will you? I don't want to ruin the holiday for you guys." Guilt tugged at my stomach and I started linking some daisies together to give my hands something to do.

"Ruin it?" Sirius gasped. "Why, my darling Elle, it would __make__ my Christmas to spend it with you." What ever did I do to deserve such great friends? "Now stop that blushing, we need to get back to the castle."

"Oh, yes," I agreed. "We have lessons."

...

Severus _almost_ didn't frown when he'd realised I'd sat next to him in the Library. It hadn't taken long to find him since he was usually here, whittling away the hours making up new spells or studying his Potions textbook tirelessly. I could understand why. Silent room, filled with books, away from a bunch of annoying Gryffindors. I'd planned to have a chat with him for a while now but Pince definitely wasn't going to let us converse in depth here.

"Come with me, will you?" I whispered as quietly as I could.

Snape looked confused and apprehensive. "Why?" he chanced, looking over his shoulder to see if the librarian was ready to pounce at us.

"Is it so bad that I want to talk to a friend?" I pouted.

"Friend?" The word rolled off of his tongue, like a word not used enough, tucked away like an old book. I nodded, tempted to pull at his arm, but forced myself to remember that not everyone was so comfortable with physical touch and affection. "Fine," He conceded. He closed his book and gathered his work while I impatiently leaned my weight from one leg to the other.

As soon as we were out of the doors of the Library, I smiled at him. "Don't look so scared." Again, I had to hold back a playful nudge. "Everyone else is busy and I think it'd be good if we got some fresh air," I insisted. He looked sceptical, but followed me to the courtyard anyway. I found a free bench – though that wasn't hard due to the lack of students present – and tapped the place beside me.

We sat in silence for a moment before Sev cleared his throat. "Well?" his voice raised in question.

"Oh!" I pulled out two apples from my bag and smiled. "I brought snacks!" With an amused expression, the boy declined my offer of food. "Right, then. Straight to the point. So, don't storm off and get mad at me. But why _ _,__ exactly, are you friends with Avery, and Mulciber, and..."

"People like them?" he finished for me, looking slightly annoyed. A few long moments passed before he decided to speak again. "They accepted me when others wouldn't."

I knew what that meant. "But they're not good people, surely you see that, Sev?" He stared at his hands. "Do you really think Purebloods are superior? Do you really want the genocide of innocent people simply because they don't have the abilities you do?"

"Of course not!" he retorted, insulted. "It's different, you don't understand. You can't simply imagine how lonely-"

"Yes I can," I interrupted him.

"But everyone loves you!" he fired at me. "You waltz in here four years late and charm everyone's socks off. You hit it off and make friends so easily, but I don't!"

"Believe it or not, I haven't always had friends!" My voice was rising and a few second years looked our way. "Sorry. What I mean is that, yes, I've been lucky enough to make friends here. I'm so lucky for that. But before Hogwarts I had no one, Sev. I mean. I had one friend. But I was bullied, too, because I was shy and introverted and different. Like you."

My friend nodded, looking a bit embarrassed by his outburst. "I'm sorry. I just. I assumed..."

"It's okay." I smiled weakly, giving him a nudge. "I'm not trying to attack you, you know that right? I'm trying to... show you that you don't just have one option. I'm your friend, Lily's your friend. Rosier and those hateful bastards aren't real friends, they're just drawn to anyone that'll accept their bigoted views."

"I can't exactly change that. You can't be a Slytherin and not appease them. My life would be a nightmare." Severus huffed, looking defeated. "I'm not just going to cosy up to Potter after everything he's done. After everything __they've__ done. You don't know the half of it."

"I do know somewhat. Sometimes the easy choice isn't the best one. Hardly anything's __easy.__ And I'm not asking you to be best friends, I'm just asking you to try. Be a better person for Lily. You love her, right? Well, Lily needs you to think for yourself. She needs you to not associate with the people that want her kind, and mine, dead-"

"Don't," he hissed. The words were a harsh reality and he knew that.

"Think on it?" A slight nod made me feel miles better. "Thank you, Sev." And with a careful hand, I patted his shoulder and grinned. "So, how'd you enjoy __Frankenstein__?"


	15. Cheap Glitter and Snowball Fights

****A/N: I bet you're all positively shocked I got another chapter up already! Haven't broken my promise this time!****

 ** **As always, I hope you all enjoy, and know that whenever I get left a review my heart lights up. Even a simple "I liked this chapter!" keeps me motivated.****

* * *

December. The word made my cheeks blush and my fingers go numb. Christmas was upon us and I was in the midst of writing all my cards. I'd now decided that since I had to scrape the bottom of my trunk for loose pennies to buy them, I should probably start looking for a weekend job. The card that I was currently signing was for Alice, and I could see the girl trying to peek over my shoulder.

I gave her a soft shove and she gave up, sprawling back onto her own bed in a giggling heap, blanket tight around her small body. "I'm just too excited!" she exclaimed.

"Impatient," Mary corrected, eating a brownie while sat in Dorc's lap having her hair plaited. I'm not sure how it happened, but the two were now inseparable and very much smitten with each other. "I haven't got you guys' presents yet. I'm awful at this shit," she admiteed.

"I know what you mean, I get scared that no one will like what I get," Dorcas frowned, tucking a stray bit of Mary's hair into the beautiful twist.

"Don't get me anything," I said. "I'd feel too guilty. Forever grateful but, you know." I sighed, looking over at my duvet. The cheap glue on the cards hadn't held the decorative glitter very well and now my bed looked like a rectangular bauble.

Alice sat up and yawned, stretching her arms above her head. "You've got no choice, gift giving is my favourite hobby."

"Hobby?" I laughed, tucking my envelopes instead of licking the awful tasting adhesive.

She nodded, some glitter on her nose glinting. God, the stuff got everywhere. "Just you wait until your birthday!" She thought for a moment. "I never asked, when is your birthday?"

"August 3rd," I informed her. The memory of my last birthday was still clear in my mind.

"Ugh," Alice sighed. "I missed it."

"You hadn't even known me then!" I chuckled.

"Well, yes, but still. How was it?" she asked.

"Eventful." I go for a smile but it comes out as more of a grimace.

Alice slaps her hands over her mouth. "Godric! Sorry! I forgot about your mum!" Puzzled, I looked at her in question. This seemed to confuse her even more. "Mary told me that your mum... your mum got ill last summer?"

It clicks and my mouth forms a round O. "Oh, yeah, that." I laughed nervously. "It's okay, she's better now, I'm not too worried."

"Really, Elle, I didn't mean to bring it up," Alice said this with sincerity, sheepishly tucking a short blonde curl behind her ear, and I stifled a sigh of relief. Hadn't blown my cover just yet.

"Don't worry about it!" I smiled, and stacked my now finished cards into a pile, tying them neatly together with a piece of string. "Now, I've only got a week with you lot before break. How are we gonna spend it?"

...

Shortly before Christmas day, I bid farewell to most of my friends. They'd boarded the Hogwarts Express to head home when a week before I'd signed up to stay at Hogwarts. Professor McGonagall had come asking with her parchment and quill in hand and I'd made my choice. Though it wasn't really a choice when I had nowhere else to go.

I couldn't help but feel guilty that Sirius stayed behind, because that signalled for others to keep me company. James and Sirius were inseparable, Remus quite liked the idea of Christmas at Hogwarts, Peter insisted he didn't mind, and Lily cut me off whenever I tried to insist she should see her family this holiday.

"You're like family, and I want to spend Christmas with family!" she'd said, and I might have cried of joy and gratefulness.

The castle had been almost unbearably cold and layered with snow for weeks now but I swore that on Christmas Eve it had dropped another ten degrees. As a result, me and Lily pushed our beds together and stayed up late chatting and gossiping. On the stroke of midnight, I reached into my trunk and slid her card from between the others.

"Merry Christmas, Lils," I beamed, shyly pulling my blanket around my shoulders.

The other girl handed me a red envelope, _Elspeth_ swirled across the front in perfect calligraphy, written in gold ink. "I'll admit I get a bit enthusiastic," she giggled.

While she opened hers, I slid my finger under the flap and tugged out the card. Once turned over onto its front I traced the season's greeting and marvelled at the pretty artwork of a wreath. Inside was a cheesy mass produced message, signed with:

 _ _Love, Lily. (P.S. Sorry about that one time I stole the last of your chocolate bar... cravings, am I right?)__

I mocked a gasp, poking her arm. "It was you! And to think you passed it off as Mary! Traitor!"

Our laughs rang out and she insisted she loved the card I'd gotten her, setting it on her bedside table. "Maybe we should get some sleep, eh?"

And so we did.

I woke Christmas morning to see a freckled face next to mine, sleeping soundly. After taking a few moments to blink away sleep, I tickled Lily awake and threw the covers back. She hissed and tried to pull them back over her bare feet. "I'm going to kill Alice for stealing my socks," she swore.

"D'you think she's having fun with Frank?" I asked, pulling a baggy knitted jumper from my pile of clean laundry I hadn't yet put away. "Oh, Fwank-y!" I raised my voice to match our friend's pitch.

"Don't be mean, Elspeth!" Lily laughed and threw a pillow at my back.

Slippers on, we tip-toed down the stairs to the common room. To our surprise, we found four boys in various sleeping positions by the fire and on the sofa. What an opportune moment. I signalled to Lily to creep up on Remus and James on the sofa while I headed for Peter and Sirius, but before we could hatch our plan the bunch of them sat up with a shout.

I almost had a bloody heart attack and tried to jump back, instead falling over my own feet with a loud thump as my bum found the floor. "Fuck!" I exclaimed, rolling onto my side, not amused by the guffawing I could hear. "Not fucking funny you idiots!" I shouted, but the giggles hit me soon enough.

"You couldn't have reacted any better!" Sirius said through barks of laughter. "How's your arse?" he asked, and I'm sure his concern over the body part wasn't due to his worry for my well-being.

I shoved him and he fell back, still chuckling. "Probably bruised, thanks to you!" I exclaimed. Remembering their cards, I grabbed the stack that had fallen along with me. "And to think I put the effort into writing these for you."

"Aw, Gladwyn!" James cooed and tried to snatch them from my hands. I extended my arm out of his reach but Sirius grabbed them instead, pulling at the string and passing them out to the others.

"I hate you." I crossed my arms but smiled nervously as I watched them read. "I know they're cheap and rubbish, but it's the thought that counts, right?"

"Shh, Elle, I love it," Remus grinned. "Merry Christmas!"

"Yeah, Merry Christmas!" Peter yelled, cheeks blushing red.

I turned to see Sirius smiling, passing me an envelope. "Merry Christmas, Elspeth."

The card contains the usual festive wishes, but only this one contains my best friend's sloping handwriting. Graceful but messy – just like him.

 _ _Pretend I wrote something really heartfelt and beautiful while you're reading this. Maybe wipe a tear from your eye. Anyway, thanks for being like... pretty cool. Not too cool__ _ _–__ _ _wouldn't want to inflate your ego would I? Merry Xmas Ellephant! Love, Your Favourite (Very Handsome) Arsehole xxx__

I busted out laughing and reached over to Padfoot, pulling him in for a soul crushing hug. "Thank you," I said quietly and pulled away. Was he... blushing? No, I must have imagined it, since he was now throwing wads of scrunched up wrapping paper at Peter.

The feast was the perfect way to warm up. After getting dressed, we entered the Great Hall to see only a handful of other students. There were many pine trees covered in baubles and tinsel and that was just the decor. The food was plentiful and gorgeous, more roast chicken than the small population of the hall could even dream of consuming. Every now and again I had to kick Sirius on the shin for stealing my roast potatoes.

After eating, James insisted we go down to the grounds for "walk", but we all knew what he really meant. I armoured myself in a thick coat, knitted scarf, and a woollen hat that was just a tad too big for me. I was all for a snowball fight until I saw the brooms.

"No, nope. Not happening. I've never flown before!" I argued when James tried to put one in my hand.

"I'm pretty shit too, Elle. Just stay at a height that wouldn't kill you if you fell," Peter offered with a giggle.

"Not funny, Peter!" Lily said, but I could see the corners of her lips being tugged.

"Here, it's really not that hard, Gladwyn." Sirius forced a broom into my hands and got in position on his own. "Just __feel__ the broom, __think__ like the broom!" he laughed, kicking off and hovering about a metre above me. God, I was going to punch him.

"If you make a single dick joke, I'm terminating this friendship." By some miracle, after a couple of tries, I managed to get my feet off the ground. Ten minutes later, I crashed into a bush. If my hair didn't look bad before, it did now. After a while of being pelted by snowballs – mainly from the direction of Black – I started to scoop up handfuls of snow as I lowered to the ground. Then, I mastered the art of flying with one hand on my broom and throwing my snowballs (and missing) with the other. Overall, I took Peter's advice and hadn't dared to go higher than about twenty five feet.

I was just about to wreak my revenge on Sirius, a massive lump of snow in my hand and his back turned to me, when my ruddy wool hat slid down over my eyes and blocked the view of anything and everything. I was blind. "Move out of the way!" I screamed, having no idea where I was headed, but it was too late. Before I knew it I'd ploughed straight into something – or someone – and we spun through the air for a mere few seconds before careening down into the soft white blanket of snow below. Thank God it had snowed, and thank God again for my fear of heights.

"What in Merlin's underwear just happened?" A deep voice spoke out from beneath me, muffled by a mouthful of my scarf.

"Oh my God. Oh my God! Sirius, are you alright? I'm so sorry," I babbled. It was now that I realised I was on top of him. I, Elspeth Winslow, was splayed atop Sirius Black.

"This is cosy, isn't it?" Sirius said. He'd taken a cold hand and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear so that it didn't fall into his eyes.

"Quite," I breathed. We were so close that I could see the flecks of blue in his irises and feel the soft dip of his chest as he inhaled. My cheeks went warm.

"Um, as nice as this is, I can't breathe too well right now." Sirius wheezed a little and chuckled as I jumped up, mumbling apologies again. "If I knew you wanted to snuggle up that bad-"

I shoved his chest and laughed, my face only growing hotter. "You arse! It was an accident!" I insisted, knowing he was joking but still feeling like I had to lessen the embarrassment I felt.

"Anyone dead?" Remus clambered off of his broom, approaching us with Lily, James, and Peter. "Maybe it __was__ a bad idea letting you on a broom." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Are you alright, Elle?" Lily called out.

"That was brilliant!" James rushed forward, out of breath, and held up a hand for a high five. When I didn't meet his gesture he turned to Sirius instead. No response. "Really?"

"I almost died! She almost killed me!" Black exclaimed, pointing at me. Did he ever tire of being so dramatic? How'd we end up in this predicament anyway? Ah, yes, revenge.

I promptly cocooned a handful of snow and lobbed it at the back of Padfoot's head. "Oh dear. I messed up your hair."


	16. The Mary Incident

****A/N: Wow. Ahem. 6 months, is it? That's... slightly embarrassing. I could give a bunch of excuses but really I just lost interest in writing this for a while. But I'm back! At least for**** ** **now :')****

 ** **Anyway, won't keep you here for long. Took me a while to re-read and refresh my mind, really sorry about the typos in past chapters too, but hopefully I'm getting back in the swing of things! Missed my babies. Enjoy, you lovely beans. (Sorry it's a short one)****

* * *

Almost as soon as the snow had fallen and covered the grounds in an icy blanket it had now thawed and pooled away to sink into the crevices of pathways and be soaked up by dirt. Nearing the end of the Christmas Holidays, an issue of the __Daily Prophet__ was printed, spreading word of Eugenia Jenkins' replacement as Minister for Magic, Harold Minchum. The man was seen as strict and thorough, placing even more Dementors around Azkaban. But I knew that wouldn't help, nothing could stop the rise of Voldemort. It was entirely bizarre to be so sheltered at Hogwarts, almost as if there wasn't a murderous maniac building up his forces on the outside. Almost.

It had been about five months now since I'd turned up here and my lack of appointments with a therapist were starting to take a toll. Over the last couple of years I'd come a long way with my anxiety but my episodes of panic were increasing. I couldn't concentrate as much in class, I was always on edge, and I'd managed to give Remus a bloody nose when he'd only tried to tap my shoulder the other day. I didn't expect it and whirled around with my hand, landing with a __smack__ into his face. That had entailed a lot of apologising. Honestly? It fucking sucked.

Today was a Thursday, the first since the students had arrived from home, no different to any other day. Lily and Sirius were walking by my side, chattering while I tried to relax and brush off the shiver I felt. We'd bumped into the girl on our way back from Care of Magical Creatures and she'd been laughing with Sirius for the past five minutes. I didn't mind, really, sometimes it was best to leave the talking to others.

Suddenly, I felt something ruffle my hair. A fly, perhaps? Anxious as always, my hand zipped up to batter whatever it was away, but nothing was there. Again, I felt something like a gust of wind around my ears, and everything went bright.

 _ _Pure, white light created a haze around my eyes.__ Great _ _, I thought,__ just what I need right now _ _. As usual, the disorientating brightness began to fade, like someone whispering "__ nox" _ _to their illuminated wand. This time I wasn't in the middle of a forest, no dead Sirius or pitched tent to see. Instead it was like I was seeing in tunnel vision. The halls of Hogwarts. The dungeons. The bricks were slick with damp and mould, discoloured to a green-y hue.__

 _ _With no other option available, I moved my feet forward. Dusty black ballet flats found granite in a solid step but no click sounded like it usually would to signal I was connected to my surroundings.__ __ _ _It was eerily quiet, but in the depths of the dark I could hear whispering. A spitting, frantic kind of whisper that held venom and hate and... fear?__

 _ _"What the fuck have you done Mulciber? Look at the girl! If anyone turns that bloody corner and sees this, we're both getting expelled!"__ _ _The voice hissed in panic.__ _ _Mulciber? What had he done? The voice that had__ _ _spoken__ _ _was familiar__ _ _.__ _ _Avery__ _ _,__ _ _maybe?__

 _ _There was a thump, as if someone had shoved another body, followed by sickly giggles. "__ _ _The M__ _ _udblood had it coming to her. Don't say you're a blood traitor now?" A different voice, most likely the offender, chuckled.__

 _ _"It's not about morals, you stupid Hippogriff! Just leave her__ _ _. C__ _ _ould have been anyone of us as far as they know."__

 _ _My heart hammered against my chest and I flattened my body against the corridor wall as two Slytherin students skulked past me, apparently unaware of my presence. That's how it always went, didn't it? I could see them but they couldn't see me. It was like I was walking through somewhere I wasn't supposed to be.__

 _ _Scared,__ _ _and__ _ _curious, I scurried in the other direction. Too fast, I walked too fas__ _ _t. T__ _ _he first thing I saw was a still body laying on the floor. Brunette ringlets spread out around her head and curled into the cracks of the floor. Mary lay whimpering with a gash on her forehead, running from her temple to her jaw. I screamed and fell sideways back into consciousness.__

"Mary. Mary... Dungeons?" I forced the words out of my mouth while my eyes focused. It was now that I felt warmth surrounding me, replacing the cold I'd felt before. A hand pushed hair out of my face and soon I could see a silhouette of perfectly messy hair.

Sirius was sat on the floor of the corridor we'd been walking down, pulling me off of the hard granite and resting my head in his arms. "Elspeth? What in Merlin's name are you on about? Can you see me?" he asked, waving a hand in front of my eyes. I reached a hand out and felt my fingers brush his face clumsily, catching on his lip. He let out a sigh that sounded a little like a chuckle. "That's my girl."

It took me a moment to really process what was happening, what I'd just seen. I felt too safe watching his grey eyes, all warm and full of what I thought might be relief. Mine must have held the same emotion. Then it came, flooding my chest and guts and veins. The panic. "Wait! Mary! The dungeons, you have to go to the dungeons!" I cried out. I knew it, I felt it in every fibre of my being. It was happening now. It was happening. This one was true.

"I think you're still a little disorientated-"

"Listen to me __now__!" I pushed myself up, knocking my friend over. I thought I was going to be sick. Or cry. Maybe both. "Mary. They're going to hurt her. Mulciber. He's going to... curse her?" I looked up to see Lily and a few confused students looking at me as if I was mad. "You have to trust me, Lils! Please!" I pleaded with my friend.

The witch looked to Black, then back to me. With a nod, she held out a hand for me to take. After pulling myself up, I brushed off my skirt with shaking hands. I was breathless already but I wouldn't let this happen to Mary. And so I led the way, skirting around corners and having to jump the gap between moving staircases. Sirius grabbed my arm but I brushed him off.

"Gladwyn! You just fainted! You have to rest, let us-"

"No!" I almost screamed at him. I had to get to her, I had to.

We were no more than a hundred yards from where I'd seen it happen when we heard a bone chilling scream. It echoed off the walls and bounced down my eardrums, freezing me to the spot. We were too late.

I couldn't force myself to go any further. I just watched as shapes whizzed passed my peripheral and arms wrapped around me again. Somewhere I could hear Sirius' voice trying to calm me as I cried, and cried. My friend, my Mary, they'd hurt her. They'd hurt her and they were going to pay for it.


	17. Fisticuffs and a Deal

****A/N: Ooh, babies, I've got a treat for you! I'm determined to see this fic through**** ** **to**** ** **the end, I feel so inspired! I'm also trying to write a bit more for each chapter.****

 ** **Hope you like it!****

* * *

A week since the assault and Mary still hadn't returned from St. Mungos. It's hard to remember it in detail because it was more of a blur than anything else. Teachers came, tried to heal her, shouted for the students to back away and give them some space. When they realised that dark magic had been used she was gently but swiftly transported to the hospital. Not fatal, they said. At least she was going to live, right?

The way the teachers had dealt with it was weird, and not right. We all knew who did it. We didn't need "proof" of that. But I guess Dumbledore was doing what he always seemed to do. Keep the dangerous students at Hogwarts so that he could "monitor" them.

It had now reached Saturday 17th, January. Of the year 1976. I was never going to get used to that, __'76__. I still went to scrawl a quick __2015__ on the top of my parchment each day.

The Great Hall was more sparse than usual this morning since the weekends gave more flexibility for breakfast times. I was sat next to Dorcas who was being comforted by Alice. The poor girl was worried sick for her girlfriend and was itching to visit her this afternoon.

"I just don't understand why anyone would do that! How sick do you have to be?" she exclaimed and frowned into the palm of her hand, arm propping her head up on the table. I didn't feel like eating today and instead pushed my shredded up hash browns around the copper plate in front of me.

"Chin up, Gladwyn. I'm sad to say that the forlorn look doesn't quite suit you," said a voice to my right. Who else but Sirius Black would make such a bad attempt at cheering me up?

"Sad to say one of my best friends was viciously attacked and I'm really fucking worried about her," I bit back. I bore my stare into his eyes but only amusement flickered back at me.

He opened his stupid mouth to continue. "Moping won't fix anything. You know Mary wouldn't want you lot worrying yourselves to death."

He had a point. I could almost feel the girl slapping me on the back and telling me to sort myself out. "If I could help it I'd be skipping down the halls with a bouquet of flowers," I mumbled in response.

"A bouquet for me?"

I actually managed to let out an exasperated laugh and flicked some food at him across the table. God, he really was handsome. I could never tell if I stared at him in envy or admiration. Maybe a bit of both. "I'd throw the flowers at my feet and stomp on them right in front of your face."

Sirius mocked a choked sob, dramatic as always. "That's so cruel. What have I ever done to deserve this abuse?"

Just as I was about to retort, I heard a loud eruption of laughter come from a corner of the Slytherin table. My head snapped around and I watched as Mulciber, Avery, and Rosier goofed around and whispered to each other. Severus was sat next to them, head turned away and seemingly focused on a book, but if you looked close enough you could see his wince.

I'd had enough of those arseholes. "I'm going to ask Sev to join us," I announced to my friends.

"Excuse me?" Sirius asked, looking at me with confusion. As if he couldn't have possibly heard me right. "That's the worst idea you've ever-"

"Deal with it."

I left my bag at the table, standing and smoothing out my woollen jumper. The walk over to the Slytherin table felt like it took years instead of seconds and when I arrived it was as though I was invisible, just like in my visions. I cleared my throat. They kept babbling on at each other, Sev still trying to retreat into his novel. _Fine_ , I thought.

I jabbed the boy on the back. "Sev?" I asked after him. They all went quiet. Their stares felt murderous and I suddenly wanted to crawl into a ball and roll away. "I was wondering if you'd like to sit with me?"

The teenagers looked at each other and erupted in laughter again, soon making cooing sounds at their friend. "You didn't tell us you had a girlfriend, Snape. Mudblood and all, isn't she?" The dark haired one, Mulciber, spat out. "Might want to be careful or she'll end up like that wench MacDonald."

Hate bubbled in my veins and I thought I was going to upturn the sparse contents of my stomach on him with the potency of it. It took all my strength not to make things escalate. With a steady movement, I turned back to Severus. "Really, Sev, the offer's there. We both know who you'd rather be around."

"She's getting jealous!" Rosier exclaimed, Sev going red in the cheeks. "Don't worry ,darling. Sharing is caring, and I think we'd all like to share you-"

Before I knew it, a blur of black robes and green stripes jumped across the table to Rosier and body slammed him so hard he flew backwards off of his bench. At my feet, Severus Snape was pummelling his pale fists into Rosier's bulbous nose, barely even registering his now bleeding eyebrow from his opponents defensive scratches. I definitely wasn't expecting __that__.

In seconds, students were crowding around the fight and I couldn't breathe. I was rooted to the spot and felt tears prickling my eyes. Adrenaline coursed through my body and I felt the panic attack take over. A sturdy hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me backward, clothes and hair battering my eyes as we waded through the crowd. I hadn't even registered that Sirius had helped me until McGonagall's shout screeched throughout the hall. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN IS GOING ON IN HERE!" It was more of a command than a question.

Everyone went quiet and dispersed until all I could see was a battered and bruised pair of boys sprawled on the floor.

...

An awkward silence surrounded me, Lily, and Sirius outside of McGonagall's office. Lily wasn't even supposed to be here but the wonderful girl refused to leave my side, rubbing my back while I hiccuped and tried to steady myself. Sirius leaned against the wall by my side, scrunching his eyebrows up whenever he looked at me. "Brain sickness?" he'd whispered ever so lightly earlier. I nodded. He frowned. My eyes were still red from crying. Kind of pathetic, I know.

The heavy oak door to the Transfiguration Professor's room creaked open and a blond boy stormed past us, pulling his ruffled friend along by his robe's sleeve. Avery and Rosier. Seconds later Mulciber followed. Then Severus.

Lily tried to catch her friend but he brushed past her, looking only at the floor. As he disappeared off into the distance she looked between me and the Slytherin, trying to decide what to do.

"Go get him, Evans," I told her with a smile. And with my blessing she jogged down the corridor, shoes tapping at the stone and red hair flying around like a phoenix.

A voice sounded from inside the office. "Black, Gladwyn. In here. Now."

I took a shaky breath and walked in the entrance, taking a moment to notice the endless bookcases. The stamp of McGonagall was as present here as in her cottage in Hogsmeade. Four chairs were lined up opposite her desk, presumably for the misfits that had visited before us. I took the one furthest left. Sirius sidled in next to me, smug facade in place.

"Wipe that smirk off of your sorry face, Black. Now is not the time," McGonagall ordered. It was almost comical how quickly it slid out of place. "Now, perhaps, can either of you explain to me how on earth this happened?"

I breathed deeply. "It really wasn't Sev's fault, Professor, honest-"

"All I want is for you to tell your version of the events, Miss Gladwyn."

Bugger. "Well, ever since the thing with Mary, you know how that went, well, we've all been even more uncomfortable around those boys. I just wanted to ask Severus if he'd rather sit with us, I promise, and then his friends started making some comments."

"And what, pray tell, were those comments?" Minerva asked and stayed as straight-faced as ever.

I coughed uncomfortably. "They called me a Mudblood." I felt Sirius stiffen. Was he angry? "And Rosier made some... unsavoury suggestions. I'd really rather not repeat it." I looked up at the teacher with hopeful eyes.

The woman seemed to look worried. "Very well. Would your story match up with your classmate's, Mr Black?"

Sirius shifted. "I didn't hear much of it. But, yeah. I actually wish I'd gotten to Rosier before Snivel- I mean Snape." He bit his lip to keep from laughing. Or perhaps growling. I wasn't quite sure if he was amused or enraged.

"You're both excused," The witch said abruptly, and I could have sworn there was a twinkle in her eyes of something less stern. Perhaps she wished __she__ __ _had_ gotten to Rosier first. "I'll evaluate the situation and give punishment where it's due."

After having been excused we sat in the curve of an alcove further down the corridor, neither of us exactly bursting to get to our classes. Padfoot reached into his pocket and snapped a chocolate frog in half, offering the bottom end to me. "Thanks," I said quietly, our hands brushing slightly as he dropped the food into my palm. What stuck in my mind was that Sirius had heard it. He'd wanted to stand up for me. "Did you mean it?" I asked. I looked up at him, aware of our thighs touching, my legs dangling instead of hitting the floor. "Would you have hexed Rosier for me?"

My friend seemed to be holding back rage, eyes flicking from me to the floor. "You know I would've punched that arsehole square in the face for saying that to you, Elle." As if contemplating it, his knuckles went white from squeezing his hand into a fist.

He smiled and I felt light burst through me and dance a waltz in my rib cage. A laugh bubbled out from between my lips. "I'd rather you teach me how to punch arseholes myself."

The boy held his right hand out for me to take. "Shake and it's a deal."

I laced his fingers through mine. "Deal."


	18. Perma-tint Ink

****A/N: Here lies FanFiction user Gernumblies, murdered by her readers after seemingly implementing the Love Triangle Trope into her story. But really, I just could not help myself (I love my little bi baby Elle). Won't speak more on the matter so as not to spoil it for you guys**** ** **!****

 ** **(**** ** **And y**** ** **es, more Sirius/Elle is coming, as slow-burn as this may be)****

 ** **Hope you guys enjoy!**** ** **I p**** ** **romise we'll get more into the main plot again after I've had some fun!****

* * *

It was Tuesday 20th when I was hurrying down the corridor after lunch break having left much too late. It was Alice's fault, really. She'd bombarded me with stacks of parchment that happened to read __British Ministry of Magic Internship Application__ along the top. I really didn't plan on following it through but after weeks of her pestering me I gave in. To applying, that is. I never said anything about actually showing up. Alice had specifically put the Department of Magical Law Enforcement as her top priority and though I'd rather something much less... _zealous_ , if I had to go then I'd want to be by her side. And that's how I ended up speeding down the icy steps of the owlery the second my friend had sent off the papers. Skirting down the hallways in hopes of not missing the start of Transfiguration, my ankle gave way and I landed hard on my hip. During the fall my bag had swung off my arm and landed outside of the toilets. I was glad now that I'd decided to zip it closed.

Huffing, I reached down to pick up my bag and decided to take it slow to class since I was now undoubtedly late and there was no helping it. There was also my bruised hip crying out in protest at even standing. My ears pricked when, in the silence of the empty hall, I heard whimpering. The kind you let out when you're frustrated and about to cry, and it was coming from the toilets. Moaning Myrtle, maybe?

I splayed my hand out against the door and pushed slowly, the old thing creaking on its hinges. From the entrance I could see long, wavy locks of blonde hair haphazardly thrown into a bun, little tendrils curling around whoever's neck it belonged to. The second she heard me, the girl jumped slightly on her heels and turned to see who'd walked in on her. Now I could see her school tie, striped with yellow and black. A Hufflepuff. Not much older than me either.

"Oh! Sorry! I didn't mean to intrude," I babbled. "It's just, are you alright?" Her eyes were almost as red as her cheeks, like she'd been crying. It was now that I noticed a large black splodge on the front of her otherwise pristine white blouse.

Just as I opened my mouth to question the stain, she sighed and threw the tissue in her hand, also stained black, into the sink. "That bloody Gryffindor prick rigged my quill during lunch!" she exclaimed. She pulled the patch of ruined shirt away from her body and looked at it solemnly. "Everyone laughed. I knew it was him when his friends started roaring with laughter... fucking arsehole." I started to think I knew who she was on about. "So I came in here to try and wash it out but it's not budging! I don't have my jumper and now I'm just as late for class as I would have been running to the dorm to get it! I reckon he used __Perma-tint Ink__ from Zonko's."

I started to walk towards her and set my bag on the ground near the sink. "Let me have a try?" I asked. She didn't look hopeful but passed a clean wad of tissue to me anyway. I turned the silver tap anti-clockwise and dampened the tissue before hesitantly motioning to her shirt. All of a sudden I realised how close I was to her, and how pretty she was. Now my cheeks were blushing too.

"Go for it. Here, I'll untuck it," she said with a bit of a chuckle and brought my hand to her mid section where the worst of the ink had dripped. There was even little speckles on her neck and in her golden hair. "I've tried all the cleaning charms I know but I think I'm doing them wrong," The girl sighed.

I started scrubbing lightly, thinking about breathing steadily instead of how nice her perfume smelled. "What's your name? If you don't mind me asking, that is." I offered a small smile.

She laughed. "Winters. Bryony Winters." I recognised her name. "And you're Elspeth, right? Transfer students stick out like a sore thumb when they first arrive." I think she noticed my nervousness because she playfully touched my arm. "Or perhaps I just noticed you for how pretty you are."

It felt like I'd swallowed a million fireflies for a second there. They were buzzing around my stomach. "Can't say I believe that," I joked. Wonderful. Look at me, Elspeth Winslow, flirting extraordinaire. "It was Sirius, wasn't it? The one that rigged your quill? I've heard him mention you before, I think?" Try as I might, the stain wouldn't come out. Wouldn't dilute and spread through the fabric, wouldn't fade. I had no idea what to do.

She nodded. "I've seen you around him. I honestly don't know how you deal with him," she stated. "He's like a grown baby." I had to stifle my laugh as much as possible. It felt like a traitorous move. "I'm glad to see you agree!" Bryony laughed, all toothy.

I threw the tissue into the sink with it's predecessor, still giggling. "Yeah, that's really not coming out." I frowned at the sad looking blouse. It really did look awful. "Here," I said, pulling off my jumper. "Take mine. I know it's got the Gryffindor badge but I'm sure you can get away with it for a couple of classes."

Bryony's face lit up and she pulled me in for a crushing hug. "Thank you so much! Are you sure? I'll come and bring it by your common room later, before I start prefect duties!" she exclaimed with genuine gratitude. _I could get used to that smile_ , I thought.

"What direction are you headed?" I pulled my bag strap up and over my shoulder, following my new acquaintance out the door. We ended up walking to her class and I continued to mine. McGonagall was far from pleased when my frazzled self almost fell through the doorway twenty minutes late. I was lucky I'd only gotten house points taken away, I didn't think I could deal with a detention right now. Part of me thought her reason for letting me off lightly was due to the Rosier situation.

After that crazy start to my afternoon, I knew exactly who I was talking to later that evening.

...

The second I ducked through the portrait hole that evening my eyes started searching for that stupid boy with his stupidly handsome face and stupidly good hair.

Tonight, he'd decided to swing back on his chair and balance as many Exploding Snaps cards as possible on the tip of his nose. He looked ridiculous, utterly ridiculous, but somehow still attractive. I could have throttled him then and there, and not in the sexy way.

"Sirius Black," I said viciously but quietly so not to cause too much commotion. "If you make one more innocent student cry with your stupid bloody pranks I __will__ kill you with my bare hands."

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, mouth still open in concentration and effort so not to drop the pile of cards James was adding on to every minute or so. "What... are you... talking about?" he asked. He squinted and had to quickly swerve his head from side to side, the pile swaying dangerously. "Is there not a better time for this?"

With one foul swoop I knocked the cards with my arm and sent them flying around the Common Room, floating gently to the floor.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sirius abruptly set his chair right and jumped up, hands motioning to the mess I'd just made. James was now lying on the floor in defeat, forehead perspiring. "I was about to beat my record, Gladwyn!"

"Why do you care so much about balancing cards on your ruddy nose!" I exclaimed.

His eyebrows raised and his shoulders drooped. "Why do you care about my pranks? You never did before."

I didn't really know what to say. Why __was__ I bothered so much? "You're not the one who missed half of their class trying to help a friend get an ink stain out of their blouse," I stated. I'd seen him borderline __bully__ __a few poor kids before and had berated him, but I was never this angry. "I just," I started in frustration at the situation. "Say sorry to Bryony, will you?" It wasn't much to ask.

The corners of Padfoot's mouth twitched. "Really? Bryony Winters?" he asked. My eyes bored into him as hard as I willed them to. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine!" He threw his hands up in defeat. "But she had it coming-" He was cut off when a book flew into his side, almost knocking him over.

A tired looking Remus rolled his lanky body on the sofa so that his back was now facing us. "You two bicker like a couple of eighty year old grannies. __Please__ keep it down."

I almost pulled a muscle from laughing at the exaggerated look of hurt on Sirius' face.

"My heart beats eternally for you, Remus," I stated dramatically. A muffled murmur was all I received in reply for my show of gratitude.

"Break _my_ heart into a thousand pieces, why don't you!" Sirius held a delicate hand to his forehead and sighed, falling back into his chair. "Whatever will I do now that my wife, Margaret, has fallen for another?" he questioned in disdain.

I shook my head in exasperation. "Am I supposed to be Margaret?"

"By Jove! I think she's going senile!" The boy clutched his chest and I was almost crying with laughter again. I hated how he could diffuse any sort of conflict, but that's what I really loved about him too. The way he made me laugh, made me feel safe. At home, even. "Does this mean you're letting me off the hook?" he asked.

"Possibly," I admitted.

He smiled. "That's what I like to hear, baby."

"Don't ever call me baby again," I replied with a grimace.

"I was talking to Remus."


	19. Firewhiskey Kisses - Or Lack Thereof

****A/N: Hello again! Surprised I haven't disappeared for a few months again? Me too tbh. I hope I don't annoy you lot with the author's notes at the beginning of chapters, I just like to check on you all and give some updates**** ** **.****

 ** **As you've probably noticed, I've changed the story cover and I'm living for how cute it is! My**** ** **best**** ** **friend is so much better at graphics**** ** **than**** ** **me! Thoughts?****

 ** **Thank you for all the new follows & reviews, enjoy!****

* * *

If James Potter thought he was a subtle boy, he was very wrong. For the most part of the last twenty minutes I'd been exasperatingly watching him out of the corner of my eyes. The dead silence of the library didn't help to distract from his evident quill chewing and shifting on the end of his chair, as if wanting to ask me something but not knowing how. I rolled up my parchment into a tight cylinder and decided to finish my astronomy graphs later, instead hoping to get James to stop opening and closing his mouth like a fish that was forgetting what it was about to say.

"Psst!" I hissed across my table to the one he was sitting at. A few second year Ravenclaws fervently brought a finger up to their mouths to tell me to shut up. James pointed to the seat next to me. I contemplated it, but it only took me a second to spot Pince's glare. So I shoved my textbooks in my bag and slung it over my shoulder, grabbing Prongs' sleeve on my way out the door.

The air outside of the library was just a tad fresher. Colder too. "Well, um. Lovely day, isn't it?" James commented, running a hand through his already messy hair.

"We both know you don't want to talk about the weather, Potter." I elbowed him in the ribs, swaying on my feet at the weight of my bag. "Let me guess, the topic of conversation can't possibly be about a girl I might know?" I asked. James grimaced a little. "Red hair? Green eyes you could read about in a sappy poem? Described with a bunch of pretentious similes." He let out a nervous chuckle that told me everything. "You write poems about her, don't you?"

My friend waved his hands about in dismissal. "No! I mean... I mean, maybe one? Just in the opening of her birthday card?" I could have stuffed my face in my hands right then and there. "I just want to do something nice for her! We've been getting on great lately, as far as great goes for us. I might even throw in the word _friends_ to describe it," he said and kicked a loose stone as we walked down the moving staircases.

"I think it's sweet," I admitted. "The thought, at least. Really wouldn't recommend keeping the poem in the final draft."

He let out a laugh, then. It was less of a bark than Sirius'. Softer, almost. "I thank you for your constructive criticism, gracious writer." James looked at the floor, then back up to me. "But really, I know she doesn't like... _splendour_ and everything. Pretty things don't matter to her," he said. For this stage in their relationship, he knew her better than I would have thought. Perhaps I'd sped things up?

"If you want my honest to God advice, a simple birthday card will do. Write something nice and personal but not too intense. __Happy Birthday Lily, I'm lucky to have you as a friend__ _ _,__ _" I suggested_ _ _. "__ Maybe organise a surprise party?"

"Well, I may have-"

"You already planned the party. My bad, I didn't think you would be __that__ predictable."

James started laughing again, quite hard this time, having to hike his bag back up his shoulder. "Sirius told me you were ruthless but I didn't think you'd be quite that savage to me." Now I was laughing too.

"Maybe I'm a little too strong sometimes," I admitted.

"Maybe so," James said and looked at me with a smile.

The part of that conversation that lingered with me most was "Sirius told me". That meant Sirius spoke about me when I wasn't around. Thought about me enough to talk to his best friends about me.

Hopefully in fondness.

...

The 30th of January come around slower than I thought it would. The whole month had seemed to drag on longer and stretch out time, readjusting to the school timetable after Christmas festivities. Sadly, my best friend's 16th birthday was on a school day. But thankfully a Friday, so she could stay up and enjoy herself without having to worry about getting up early the next day for lessons. Knowing Lily, she'd probably still find a way to get some prefect duties in instead of celebrating.

To slot into the envelope with the card I'd gotten her, I ripped a page out of my cheap sketchbook and tucked it in place. It was a pencil sketch of a doe that Alice had helped me animate. I really did love magic.

Lily was always the first to rise, normally, so the night before I'd made sure to set an alarm. When we were all awake and had blinked away the sleep, we shared the space on Lily's bed and Alice's next to hers. Dorcas had bought a card to give to Lily from Mary in her absence and the redhead may have cried a little. Dorc assured us her girlfriend was well on her way to recovery and was even able to walk again now.

I handed my card to Lily last and watched her open it much like when we stayed up Christmas Eve. She took a moment to watch as the doe on the page dipped its head to eat some grass and lifted it again, repeating the action seamlessly. She giggled in the light way she always does and wrapped her arms around my neck to pull me in for a hug. "I love it!" she exclaimed.

Dorc had a look and smiled. "That's very clever, Elle."

I thanked her and beamed at Alice. "I can't take __all__ the credit."

After singing a jolly round of __Happy Birthday__ which Lily hated, we all packed up and headed out of the Common Room to catch breakfast in the Great Hall. When we arrived we found the one and only Severus Snape sat at the Gryffindor table, scowling across said table at someone. That someone seemed to be Sirius.

As I edged closer to their position I heard Black complaining. "-ome on, Prongs! Does he have to be here?"

"It's Lily's birthday, Pads! Don't ruin it. He's her best friend," James pleaded with his friend. He didn't look pleased about the situation either, but I was gob-smacked that he was doing something so selfless. He really did care for that girl.

"I'm right here," Snape sighed at them, looking like he'd much rather be crushed under the branches of the Whomping Willow than be within ten feet of the Marauders.

I watched as Lily raced ahead. "Sev!" she called, and lowered down onto the bench next to him to give him a hug. I joined her side and looked across at Sirius. He was resting his head in his hand and rolling his eyes. Disappointing, but this was still a much better place than where I thought I'd get these troublemakers to be in just 6 months.

"Lils... uh, Lily?" James sounded almost timid. "Happy Birthday." Lily contemplated him for a second with a happy but bemused expression. He slowly handed her his card over the table.

"Wow," she breathed, turning it over in her hands and seemingly reading it more than a couple times. "I expected a band singing a ballad and a thousand roses sprinkled around my feet," she said with a laugh.

Potter's face fell. "Oh, I'm really sor-"

"This is __so__ much better than that, you daft bum."

I didn't think I'd ever seen James smile so bright. Sev didn't even seem too mad. Above all else I think he was just happy to see Lily having such a good time. I was too.

I turned my attention to Sirius. "Who pissed in your pumpkin juice?" I asked with a grin. He bit his lip to stop himself from smiling. "Ah, you're just being a baby. I should've known. You __do__ only have two emotions."

Padfoot scoffed. "And what two emotions are they?"

"Whiny baby and drama queen," I stated.

"I can't say I disagree with that," Remus butted in.

Peter chuckled. "She's right, you know."

"This is the precise definition of bullying and I hate you all."

...

Contrary to how the rest of the month had been, the day had gone fast. Care of Magical Creatures was my last class of the day but Sirius seemed to have disappeared halfway through to God knows where. I ended up traipsing along the grounds back to the castle on my own, the sky already starting to dim. The Common Room was in chaos when I ducked through the portrait hole, most of my friends strewing many __Happy Birthday__ banners and other gaudy decorations up wherever they could find a suitable place.

The few tables that inhabited the room were covered in plastic cups and paper plates for the alcohol and finger food. Yep, the boys had managed to smuggle in alcoholic beverages again. I saw the labels for butterbeer and firewhiskey as well as a few Muggle brands of drink. Somehow I had a bad feeling about this.

Before I knew it, Sirius was hurtling over the sofa and joining me at my side, revelling in my surprised expression. "Impressive, huh? We've almost got everything done."

"Impressive wasn't quite the word I was thinking of, but sure," I said and patted him on the back. "Well done, and I can't wait to see you in detention next week when McGonagall finds out-"

"Shh, sweet Elspeth." Sirius placed a hand over my mouth to silence me. "I swear that woman can sense everything I do. Don't make it worse."

Reluctantly, I helped everyone pull the last strings together before Lily got back from prefect duties. We finished just in time, a bottle of firewhiskey still in my hand as Remus and Lily entered the portrait hole. In unison – sort of – the scattered fifth and sixth years shouted out a "surprise!" For a second I though Lily had a heart attack.

The little sips I'd taken while preparing seemed to be hitting me more than they should have been and I felt tipsy already. Lily seemed lost in the crowd now, but last I saw her she was laughing with James. That was one thing I was happy about.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder as I took another swig of my drink. It was Remus.

He raised his voice over the radio. "A Hufflepuff is outside. Briar, I think? She has something of yours, she said."

"Bryony?" I said in question. Ah! My jumper. It never dawned on me that she hadn't returned it since that day in the toilets. I'd just been wearing my spare. "Thanks, Remus." I patted his arm, eyes set on the portrait hole.

It took me a moment before I found my way through the crowd and to the exit. When the portrait closed behind me the music became muffled and my eyes focused on the girl sitting patiently on the stairs. Her hair was down now, instead of up, trailing down her back like spun gold.

"Elspeth!" she exclaimed, standing up. "I am so, so sorry it's taken me so long to give this back." She held out the grey bundle of fabric in her arms. "McGonagall stopped me in the middle of the hallway later that day, it was awful."

"It's okay!" I smiled. Perhaps too enthusiastically.

She bit her lip. "You sure?"

"Don't worry about it," I assured her, deciding to pull the jumper over my shirt now to free my hands. "How are you? You look good." Why? Why did I say that?

I was mentally hitting myself when she beamed back at me, smiling in the pretty way she does. "You do too," she replied.

Maybe it was the butterbeer and firewhiskey, but I'd certainly been given the liquid courage to start to close the space between us. Did I really know what I was doing? What I wanted to do? Kiss her, that's what I wanted to do. Right? That's what teenagers did, kissed boys and girls they liked.

Bryony seemed to catch on and brought a hand up to my cheek. Her thumb stroked the blush that I could feel pinking my face and it felt all right and all wrong at the same time. Sure, nervousness was normal, I'd never kissed anyone before, but I felt dread in my stomach. When my thoughts should have been about the pretty girl in front of me all I could think about was... Sirius? But that was absurd, I didn't like Sirius like that.

Our lips had merely brushed when I jerked away, almost losing my footing. I'd definitely had too much to drink. I looked at Bryony, but she didn't seem to be hurt by my rejection. "I'm sorry, I'm... I'm sorry. I was drink... I was drinking." That was all I could manage to get out.

She smiled, kindly. "It's okay, Elle. I get it. I see the way he looks at you," she said and looked at her feet. Something like disappointment toyed with her smile.

"What? What... do you mean?" I slurred. She only sighed.

"Let's get you back in there."

After helping me back up the steps she started off in the direction of her own Common Room, spring in her step as always. The way he looks at me? Her words echoed in my head. It was like my brain had tunnel vision and that was the only think it could think of. Who did she mean? Sirius? She must not know what she's talking about. We were friends, best friends. Just friends.

My mind foggy, I clambered through the portrait hole yet again and was greeted with the sound of Peter singing __Bohemian Rhapsody__ at the top of his lungs.


	20. Avoidance

****A/N: Just something light and cute today! Enjoy, my lil beans****

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All I could think about when I was around him was the Almost Kiss. It felt like a betrayal when I knew it wasn't at all. Like I was keeping a secret that really I should be telling him. It was eating me up from the inside out. God, I really did love his company, but it was almost like I couldn't stand being around him now. Did I have romantic feelings for Sirius? I didn't know. Maybe. Probably?

I'd never really had a proper crush before. Never really knew enough people to have that chance at experiencing the butterflies and daft puppy love. Teenagers were mean and all they did was tease at the weakest link and I hadn't known what it felt like to even have a friendship group before the Time and Universe Travelling Incident of last summer.

Over the next few months I can't say I wasn't avoiding my best friend. If he entered the library – which wasn't often – I'd scurry out the door. If he was sat in our usual place in Astronomy I'd look for a spare seat before deciding to sit next to him. Dickhead move, I know. And I missed him. So much.

Spring was in full flush by the time March came around. The greenhouses were an array of a million shades of green and daisies were sprouting all over the fields in little colonies. On the 20th, a Saturday, James had decided to have a casual joint celebration of his and Remus' birthdays. With our O.W.L. examinations only two months away, we scarcely had time to relax and hang out.

It was just after four in the afternoon that I'd entered the Common Room to return my books to my dorm after an awfully boring study session at the Library. I still felt miles behind every other fifth year, but I guess that was expected when I'd missed four years of magical education.

As I was nearing the small set of stairs to the girls' dormitories, Sirius and Peter clambered down the twin set that led to the boys' dorms. I could literally feel their eyes lock onto me and I took a measly step back to turn and face them.

"Studying again, are we?" Sirius asked, his jaw tightening despite his usual happy-go-lucky facade.

Peter waved at me while I bit my lip trying to think of what to say. Why was this so awkward? "Uh, yeah. It'll be a miracle if I get a single O.W.L. but I might as well try, right?" I said with a weak smile.

"Have a little more faith in yourself, Gladwyn." Padfoot smiled back and everything felt right again, all in a simple expression. The two boys started towards the exit and it was now that I noticed a towel sitting on his shoulder. "Coming?" he asked expectantly.

"What? Where?" I questioned. A little preparation would have been nice.

"The Black Lake. Swimming," Peter said bluntly, face a little red.

I contemplated the two of them for a second. Swimming in the Black Lake? In March? _In Scotland_? I gaped at their happy expressions. "Isn't it a tad... _cold_ _? F_ or that?"

"It's for James and Remus' birthdays. It would be an insult for you to stay in." Sirius elbowed Peter to get him to agree. His friend nodded furiously. "Grab Lily if you want," he said.

"I don't know," I said and let out a breath. "I don't even have a... you know. Swimsuit." I shuffled in place feeling a little exposed.

Sirius grinned an awful, devilish grin. "Neither do I."

...

Somehow, I'd found myself trudging across the Hogwarts grounds after the two Marauders, my other friend huffing beside me. For the whole walk down to the lake Lily kept insisting she'd "entertain the idea, but I'm not getting in that fucking lake with James Potter!"

That made two of us. Sure, it was warmer now than it had been in January, but not by much. Though that didn't stop James from wearing nothing but his boxers when he sprinted full force off the deck and into the water.

"I hope the Giant Squid eats him," Lily almost growled. "They'd make a wonderful couple."

I snorted, thinking back to the books I read as a child. "The way it goes is that _you're_ the one who quite fancies the squid," I stated.

The girl cocked her head at me. "What?"

Fuck. "Hmm?" I barely looked at her, acting __really__ interested in the scenery as we propped ourselves by the edge of the boat deck to dangle our legs in the water.

"You say some funny things, Elle," Lily sighed. She leaned back onto her hands and hummed some 70's song I probably didn't know. She was one of the most beautiful girls I'd ever seen, ever had the pleasure of getting to know. I could understand how James adored her, she was just so easy to fall in love with.

The water of the lake was cold, but not as cold as I thought it would be. Small waves rippled as my toes brushed the surface and broke the seal between up here and down there. The sun had peaked out from behind the clouds and threw a warm blanket of light over my shoulders. I was almost too relaxed to notice Sirius thudding down next to me, now wearing nothing but boxer shorts. Droplets of water clung to his face and dripped off the ends of his hair. I guess some dogs do love to swim.

"Take off your jumper," he said. Almost like an order.

I snapped my head up at him and scoffed. "Excuse... excuse me?" I stammered. He laughed and I folded my arms over my chest, cheeks getting hot.

"No really, Elle. I think it's a great idea for you to take your jumper off," he urged. The boy pushed back the locks of hair that were falling in his face.

My mouth was open in disbelief. "I'm going to slap you in a minute," I promised.

"You do sound like a bit of a pervert right now," Lily said and poked her head around to address him.

I nodded. "Are you even listening to yourself?"

He was giggling to himself again. "You'll thank me later." I raised my eyebrows. "I promise."

A promise was a promise. Reluctantly, I pulled my jumper over my head so that I was now in just the old pair of denim shorts Lily had let me borrow and a plain tee. All of a sudden I was glad I took off the jumper, because I left it behind to stay dry when Sirius Black scooped an arm around my waist and pulled me into the lake with his stupid self. I felt the water muffle my hearing as I dropped beneath the surface. The second I'd realised what that sod had done, my arms started wading so that I could reach the air again. I gasped and spluttered when I could finally take a breath and wiped water from my eyes. Seconds later, a mop of black hair surfaced beside me, belonging to a teenage boy who was bellowing with laughter.

"You! You fucking imbecile!" I spluttered, paddling at the water and trying to stay up above. Never was the strongest swimmer.

Sirius barked with laughter and splashed a wave towards me. "Lighten up a little!" he exclaimed.

Arsehole. "Why don't __you__ lighten up a little?" I brought my hand around and sent water flying up into the air to rain down on him.

"That's more like it!" Lily whooped from the deck, legs kicking back and forth to try and get us both.

They'd managed to get a giggle out of me, but my muscles were starting ache from treading water.. "Oi, dickhead. Come 'ere!" I called to Black. "Lend me an arm, will you?"

"And why should I do that?" he gloated, slowly wading around me. Close but not close enough for me to reach the bastard. "Maybe I should just leave you to float for an hour."

I splashed at him again. Fine, if he wanted to play like that then so would I. I stopped my giggling abruptly and tried my best to look stunned. "There, there's something on my leg!" I shouted, kicking at whatever imaginary creature had caught hold of me underwater. "It's pulling me-" I held my breath and disappeared under the water. I couldn't see much, the Black Lake wasn't the clearest body of water in the world by far. My lungs were starting to plead for more air but I stayed under as long as I could, slowly working my way around the area my friend had previously been. When I could hear shouts from above, I broke the surface with a shout.

It wasn't as dramatic as I'd hope it'd be, but the look on Sirius' face was worth it. Even Remus looked a little worried, and his expressions were the hardest to read normally. The dark haired boy jumped back, eyes wide until he'd gotten over the few seconds of shock. I was laughing harder than I had in a while, even when he tackled me.

"Stop! Stop!" I managed through my giggles. I felt his arms pull me in and twirl me around. Everything felt light in that moment. Happy. The sun was still bright and shimmered off of the water, sun spots dancing over my skin. "Okay, okay! I think that's enough swimming for today," I said and batted at his tickling hands.

"Come on, then." Sirius let go of me and turned around so that I was facing his back. "Hop on," he ordered. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my body rest against his, hitching a ride back to land. It didn't last long – we were only about ten metres out – but every second of the way I was aware of his skin against mine, my t-shirt slick against my chest. I could feel and hear his breathing and it was somehow one of the sweetest sounds. "You doing alright?" he asked.

"Quite," I whispered, tired and content.

As the water got shallower Padfoot started to walk instead of swim, reaching behind himself to pull my legs up around his waist so that he was giving me a piggy back ride. Normally I'd jump off and push him back into the water, or something equally as annoying, but I'd missed him so much I didn't dare push him away again.

"I could get used to this," I said quietly, chin resting on his shoulder.

"Get used to what?" Sirius asked and turned his head around to glance at me, cheek brushing mine for a second.

"Having a man servant."

In that second he let go of my legs and I fell to the grass, laughing again. Reaching up, I grabbed his hand to pull him down to my side. Remus and Peter sat with us for around half an hour, sharing stories about their day. Peter had even, apparently, won the eye of a fellow fifth year. She was a Ravenclaw, one that had seemed to make Pettigrew blush more than anyone else could. Lily and James had departed already, God knows where. But that was good. A triumph even.

Soon our friends started to shiver, and I was too. Remus stood. "Well," he started and flopped his damp towel around his neck. "I'm going to go sit in front of the fire before I catch a cold and look even more sickly than I already do."

"Same here," Peter agreed and brushed the daisy chain he'd been making off of his lap.

I looked to Sirius. His expression told me what I needed to know. "I think we're going to stay out here a little longer," I told the two boys.

Remus shrugged. "Suit yourselves. Just make sure you're back in time for dinner."

"Alright, Mum," Padfoot called to Moony, throwing a wad of grass at his retreating body. I pulled on my jumper that I'd retrieved from the deck earlier, glad it was dry and warm. "Told you it was a good idea," Sirius said.

I laughed and shoved him. "Wouldn't even need it if you hadn't pulled me in..."

For a moment we sat in quiet and I watched as the water of the lake rippled gently, no teenagers to disrupt it any more. The day was dipping into the evening and the sun was going into slumber, the moon already a crescent glowing in the sky. I wondered if my family might be looking at the same moon. Somehow.

"So, are we going to talk about why you've been avoiding me?" Sirius' voice was deep and cut through the silence.

I froze. "I don't kno-"

"I'm not as oblivious as you think I am," he cut me off. He plucked a daisy and dropped it in my hair before falling back to lay down. "Have I upset you?"

I looked back at him. "Of course not," I assured him. I let out a shaky breath. "I..." He rolled his eyes. "Fine. There was a girl. I liked a girl. The girl tried to kiss me, but I didn't want to. I pulled away, and I don't know why. I felt embarrassed. Or... guilty? I don't know," I started babbling all the stuff I'd wanted to tell him for weeks now.

He nudged my knee. "I didn't know you like girls."

"I like both. Anyone," I explained. I smiled down at my hands, fiddling with a loose thread in my jumper.

"Is this mysterious girl still in the picture?" he asked. I shook my head. "Do you still like her?"

I nibbled on my lip. "No, I don't think so. If anything, I think I like someone else. I think that's the problem," I said. I was playing with fire but I was sure if I kept it vague enough he wouldn't catch on. I wasn't sure I was ready for him to.

"All these crushes and you never told me! I'm hurt," Sirius teased. "Do I get to know who?" He sat up now, grey eyes searching my face for a telling sign.

"No! And get out of my face." I shuffled away from him.

He reached over and brushed my cheek. "You're blushing! Come on, Gladwyn. We tell each other everything, right?"

I shook my head. There was a lot I didn't tell him. "Some secrets are meant to be kept. What about you, anyway? Or are you still in love with your reflection?"

Sirius barked a laugh and stood, hand outstretched to help me up. "Everyone's in love with my face, darling."

"Don't speak for me," I replied.

"Wow. Low blow."


	21. Return Home?

****A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, follows, etc**** ** **etera**** ** **! I really, really appreciate them and they keep me going! Things are starting to pick up again, and I hope you guys are excited**** ** **.**** ** **I promise Sirius/Elle will be soon, but I can't give you the good stuff so easily, can I?****

 ** **Enjoy!****

* * *

It was on a Wednesday morning, mid April, that Mary had finally returned from her stay at St. Mungo's. I was sat poking my breakfast with a fork, worrying about the exams next month. But when I saw those conker coloured ringlets bouncing near the entrance of the Great Hall, I knew that being anxious about such a thing was selfish. Abruptly, I stood from my seat and watched as Dorcas darted from her own place to practically tackle the advancing witch. I could see the tears of happiness streaming down her face from here.

As Mary got closer, my eyes began to focus on the pink line running down the upper left side of her face, disfigured by the curls of hair. A scar. A scar replacing what was once an open gash leaking blood. My stomach turned.

Mary pulled me in for a soul crushing hug and I thought I might hold onto her forever. The girl seemed to shake beneath my touch, frailer than she once was. Before, I'd describe her with words like bold, brash, maybe a little too rough. Now I saw meek. And... scared?

"I missed your stupid face," I whispered, pulling away.

She smiled weakly at me while accepting a hug from Lily. Over breakfast she told us of her stay at the hospital, how recovery took so long. "I was completely out of it for the first week. Everything felt like a weird dream for the first month. It was... it felt like my face was on fire. For weeks." Dorc caressed the side of her girlfriend's face. "The burning only stopped last Sunday." She then gestured to the mark that now lived permanently on her skin. "At least I've got a wicked scar now, right?"

We would've laughed if we could. Mary certainly did. I guess everyone finds their own way to deal with trauma.

Even Sirius gave our friend a fist bump when he saw she was home and safe. "Maybe I should get cursed __every__ day if it means you'll be less of an ass," she'd joked.

Seeing Mary again both made me feel infinitely better and intensified the urge to vomit whenever I saw Mulciber. He deserved to be in Azkaban.

It was him I was seething at when the owls came, fluttering through the hall in an echo of screeches. A small envelope landed in my lap and my heart started to hammer. I didn't get letters. I had no one to receive them from, and normally this fact made me feel depressed but right now I knew this only meant one thing.

Like the last time, my name was scrawled on the front in handwriting I'd only seen once before.

Sirius tried to speak while drinking from his goblet. "Whug thrag frlum?"

I blinked. "Pardon?"

He gulped and pointed at the letter in my hand. "Who's that from? I thought you didn't have any secret admirers?" he teased.

"I don't!" I said defensively. Perhaps a little too much so. I watched him raise his eyebrows and take another sip of his drink. "It's from my Mother," I explained. Falsely. "Well, I mean, yes. My Mum."

"You don't seem so sure about that." The boy searched my face. For what? For a fault, a giveaway that I was lying to him and everyone here I'd come to care for?

I scratched the back of my neck and shoved the letter in my bag. "My sister Hattie writes them sometimes, so no, I'm not actually sure if my Mum physically wrote it."

"Sorry," Black apologised, but I didn't feel that he meant it. I didn't feel that he believed me at all. "I know I overstep sometimes. But you can talk to me about anything, Elle." My breath hitched. "Anything."

He seemed to be able to hit every nerve in my body. I wasn't supposed to say anything to them, it could mess up everything, but that didn't mean I hadn't entertained the idea. I'd absolutely fucking love not to have to spin stories every time someone asked me how my sick Mum was faring, or if I was going home to see my siblings this summer. But that wasn't how it was going to go.

In panic, I lifted my bag strap over my shoulder. "Of course. And same goes to you, Sirius," I replied. It sounded awfully formal and I had to try and not grimace as I retreated from the Great Hall, leaving my friends to finish their breakfasts. I sped down the corridors, checking behind my shoulder whenever I could, and when I found an alcove I dipped out of the way of students rushing to their classes.

Hastily, I pulled the crumpled envelope from my bag and practically ripped it open. I thought the words inside would bring me some kind of answer, some help. I was begging for it.

 _ _Retrieve the Time Turner from Dumbledore__

...

My ballet flats were tapping across the floor as I took large strides up the staircase to the Headmaster's office. I was walking so frantically that my hair was falling out of the ponytail I'd put it in earlier. After our last meeting, Dumbledore had given me his passwords so that, in emergencies like this, I could speak to him without bothering Professor McGonagall.

The large door to his office creaked when I knocked on it thrice. "It's me, Elspeth, sir! It's really import-" I almost fell forward into the room as the door opened, allowing me to enter. Near the centre of the circular room, Professor Dumbledore sat at his desk, large feather quill jotting something down on a roll of parchment. His hand motioned for me to sit, so I did.

My chair scraped the floor as I tucked it in, hands fidgeting as I waited anxiously for the Headmaster to finish whatever he was writing. The second his head lifted to face me, I told him of my request.

"I need the Time Turner back," I stated.

The old man adjusted his half moon spectacles. "May I ask why?"

I thought for a moment. Should I tell him about the letter? He knew about the other one. "This," I said and slapped the wrinkled page of parchment on the desk. "Is telling me I need it. The last one told me to guide Sev, and I seem to have done that right." Wasn't that good? Wasn't I headed in the right direction? Then why did I feel so much panic?

For a long moment, the man before me examined the text. Just when I thought he'd dismiss me, he opened his mouth to speak again.

"Very well, Miss Winslow." His aged hand reached into the draw under his desk where I'd seen him store the Time Turner on that first day I arrived, and when he pulled it out the golden trinket was shining right at me. I felt so many emotions in that moment. Hatred of the stupid thing that had torn me from my family. Thankfulness that I'd been able to experience this somewhat fucked up situation.

He placed it on the desk before me and I hesitantly reached out a hand to take it. "So that's it?" I asked and looked up at this supposed genius of a man. "No more questions? No caution?"

"I have learned, dear child, that sometimes it is best to let things unravel naturally. Something out there wanted you here so badly that it sent you across different planes of existence. Something out there wants you to have that." He gestured to the Time Turner. "So who am I to stop it from happening?"

He had a point. "Thank you," was all I could say, was all I could get out before I stood to leave.

I didn't yet know why I needed this thing or __when__ I would need it. What I did know was that it would never leave the chain around my neck. Perhaps it would return me home.


	22. Miracles and Farewells

****A/N: Quick trigger warning for this chapter! Mentions of abuse and child abuse.****

 ** **I've also made a Pinterest board for the story (linked on my profile) because what better way to spend my time? Obviously not being productive and actually getting some writing done. But I'll cut myself some slack because it's only been two days since I last updated!****

 ** **Not much else to say, but I hope you all enjoy! Please keep reviewing, even if it's just asking for a new chapter, I can't explain how motivating it is to actively see you guys being interested**** ** **.****

 ** **Love you all!****

* * *

A miracle was what I needed. Only a miracle could get me through these exams.

When I looked at my page, my eyes scanned through words that, to me, sounded like something a toddler would make up. I'd tried really hard to catch up with the other students, too. In frustration, I slammed my textbook shut and used it as a pillow, resting on my arm to cushion the surface. To my side, Remus gave me a pitying look. "You can always just ask for help, you know," he said.

I chuckled. My breath was warm against my hand. "I guess I'll never stop trying to be the least bothersome I could possibly be."

"Don't say that." Remus smiled warmly. "You could never be a bother," he insisted.

My lips turned upward and I buried my face into my hands. I loved Remus. I loved my all friends here.

A thud on the table made me whip my head back up. My hair was, no doubt, a frizzy mess. My eyes found the source of the noise. Sirius. His old and weathered bag was laying on the table, books and parchment spilling out. He didn't seem to care as he leaned back in his chair, shoulders drooping. His posture wasn't as springy as usual, his face not so bright. If I thought it possible, considering how strong his guard is, I might have thought he was about to cry. Remus seemed to notice too, leaning to whisper something in his ear. Sirius only shook his head and looked at me.

I knew what to do. Leaving my belongings in Remus' care, hopefully not to be stolen by the other students in the Common Room, I stood and gave a tug at Sirius' arm. The boy followed me out of the portrait hole and into the corridor. We walked for five minutes, ten minutes, thirty. I didn't push him to open up, to say anything until he was ready. Silence between us was comfortable and I think we both loved that. After a while, we reached the greenhouses and he pulled himself up on one of the benches, hands reaching to play with the leaves of a moving plant I didn't know the name of.

It was quiet in here, a little humid. Alive in a weird way. "Pretty, huh?" I whispered, tugging a stool out from under a table and sitting across from my friend.

"You? Always," Sirius said. He smiled at me when I looked up.

" _ _Sirius__ _ _,__ " I said, trying not to roll my eyes.

"I know," he sighed and threw his hands in his lap, legs dangling over the edge of the wooden work bench. "I don't know how to do the whole talking thing. Never had a... what was it? That Muggle thing. Brain sickness doctor."

"Psychiatrist?" I offered, not able to hold back my smile at his innocence of the way things were in my world.

"Yeah. That." His cheeks reddened.

I looked at him for a moment. I hated seeing him like this. Like everything that made him the strong, amazing, funny boy I knew had been locked away in the back of his head. "Do you want to tell me how you're feeling?"

His grey eyes found mine and I could see him thinking, not knowing what words to string together. Not knowing how to make all the shit that was manifesting inside into coherent words. "Bad.I feel bad. And it fucking sucks." Another moment of ripping leaves off of a poor plant. "Exams are this week, and after that it's summer. Summer means no Hogwarts, which means I have to go back to my fucked up house with my fucked up family." His voice cracked and I thought I might crack too. "Reg passed me in the corridor earlier and..." A pause. "And I can't stand the way he looks at me like I'm such a bloody disappointment. They all do! They're a group of dicks who wish genocide on innocent people and __I'm__ the disappointment? Little Reg gets a pat on the back and an approving nod across the three hundred year old fucking ornate dining table and I get a belt buckle to the cheek," he finished with a shaky breath.

I thought I was going to throw up. I wasn't sure if I'd ever felt such pure rage and heartbreak at the same time. To know someone was capable of hurting another human being like that – emotionally and physically. To know it was someone I loved that was being hurt by such monsters.

When I saw the first tear fall from his eye I jumped from my place and wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could. Sirius' cheek was wet against the side of my neck, his body shaking ever so gently beneath my grip. "It's okay, just breathe. I promise it's going to be okay." The words left my mouth, repeating what my Mum had once promised as she held me before. "You're not a disappointment. Not in the slightest. You, Sirius Black, are one of the most phenomenal people I have ever met. You're loyal as a dog, and talented, and bright. Don't you __dare__ listen to a word they say," I said to him, hoping I'd gotten out all the right words. I was crying too, now.

We sat there for a while, his head resting on my shoulder as we watched the inhabitants of the greenhouse bathe in sunlight. His dampened hair was now tucked behind his ears, cheeks and nose red from crying. I didn't imagine he let himself cry much. It was peaceful here, like we were the only two people in the world. All hazy and ambient.

"Thank you." My friend's voice was raspy as it broke the silence.

"No need to thank me," I insisted. Listening to him was the bare minimum I could do as a friend.

I felt him lift his head and look at me. "Thank you, honestly. For letting me unload all that on you. I've only ever let James hear that before," he admitted.

"I asked you to talk. I wanted to hear it. I wanted you to... get it out. It's not good to keep it all in. Not stuff like that," I told him. Because it was true. "And I'm honoured you told me. Felt comfortable enough to tell me."

He tried to smile. It was weak, but still a smile. "I suppose you're right."

I nodded. "Am I ever wrong?" I laughed quietly when he rolled his eyes.

And so he reached for my hand, and I began wishing our fingers could be kept entwined until the world fell apart around us.

...

Exams sucked. Really sucked. So much so I'd say they were pretty fucking gay. But they needed to be done, which meant the whole of sixth year needed to quietly file into the Great Hall every morning for almost eight damn days in a row. It was torture. One day, Peter arrived the absolute second we were entering the hall, holding only a blunt graphite pencil. I almost cried for the poor boy.

Somehow, we all made it through alive. Albeit with lots and lots of coffee. To celebrate the school year coming to an end, I spent the last afternoon in Hogsmeade. I'd been so busy all year I'd barely visited the village more than a few times. When I walked upon the shops and houses with Lily and Alice I felt a wave of nostalgia hit me. Not far off a year ago, I'd spent the month of August living here with McGonagall. The same flowers had finally bloomed again, the trees a lush green. I loved it.

Alice played with one of the two plaits her blonde hair was braided into, indulging me and Lily in all the details of all the plans her and Frank had for when she wasn't at the Ministry. That was another thing. Me and Alice had our internship applications accepted. If I was being honest, I wasn't very excited, but that's not what I told the other girl.

My eyes caught sight of Tomes and Scrolls and I knew I wanted to grab some reading material for the summer holidays while I had the time. "Mind If I pop in the bookshop quickly?" I asked my companions. The two of my friends agreed they'd meet me at The Three Broomsticks later.

The store wasn't as dusty as it was at the beginning of the school year, now worn a bit by more frequent customers. Though it was still the least visited shop in Hogsmeade, and still my favourite. Someone I didn't expect to spy as I turned around the corners of the shelves was Severus. He seemed to have spotted me first.

Before I could open my mouth, he spoke. "I think this time I should be the one to give _you_ a recommendation." He smiled at me, just slightly.

I laughed, taking the book from his outstretched hand. My eyes explored the cover. Old and worn, bound in a brown leather. "I don't recognise the author." I furrowed my brows.

"She's a witch," he told me. "I wouldn't think a Muggleborn would know her." __Muggleborn__. Not __Mudblood__. He said the word without venom, too.

I gave him a pat on the back, eliciting another chuckle from myself at my own awkwardness. "I'll give it a read," I promised him. We seemed to shuffle in our places for a second, not knowing what to say next. "How are things with you? The boys seem to have been leaving you alone."

Sev scoffed. "They still hate me. Always will. James that is, at least." My heart dropped. "But I think you've made them, and me, realise that we need to stop being selfish for Lily's sake. For everyone's sake. So yes, they've left me alone," he finished.

That was good. Right? But it was only this morning that we sat our Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. and that meant Snape's Worst Memory could still happen. I doubted it would, but I knew I'd be on edge until everyone went home the next day. "Just," I laid a hand on his shoulder, "try not to bump into them. Or... don't take your anger out on the wrong people, okay?" I watched his face carefully.

He looked at me weirdly. "I'm not going to pretend I know what you're referencing. But I'll be okay, Gladwyn," he assured me.

I smiled. "Good. S'later, Sev. I hope you have a good Summer."

"You too."

...

I exited the store with a new book and a new hope for what was yet to come.

The next day, the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were to depart on the train back to platform nine and three quarters. Somehow, signalled by the stroke of midnight, I'd accepted that I'd managed to deter a paramount event from happening. The day that ruined Lily and Sev's friendship. I remembered the time I vowed not to meddle in anything, and here I was, changing the course of everything. I couldn't decide whether I was happy or scared.

I stood watching my friends board the Hogwarts Express at the station without me. Alice and Dorc were already sticking their arms out the window of their cabin while Mary pressed her face against the glass. Sirius chuckled at my side and I'd only now noticed his presence.

"Coming, nerd?" he asked. His bag was slung over his shoulder and his clothes were all ruffled and messy. Undoubtedly an act of defiance to piss off his parents.

I shoved him lightly. "Fuck off, wanker."

He pretended to hiss in pain. "Oh, sick burn. Gonna need some water for that." I rolled my eyes. "No, really, come on," he said, looking confused because I wouldn't follow him.

I looked at my feet. "I'm not going home," I told him. The harsh reality that I had no home to go back to was starting to hit me. Sure, I had McGonagall, and I loved her like she was some cool aunt, but nothing beat the idea that I'd one day be able to see my little sister's face again. And Mum. My baby brother. Hell, I even missed Hattie the Royal Bitch.

"How come?" Sirius asked, but carefully so.

Lies, more lies. I'd have to keep telling lies forever and I was tired. "Mum's still sick. Still at the Hospital."

"What about your siblings? Can't you all hang out on your own and trash the house?" he joked. Mostly. "Where are you going to stay?"

I smiled. "Sadly, no. McGonagall's watching over me until Mum gets better. Hattie's..." I was so bad at this. "Hattie's studying abroad so the two younger ones are staying with a relative. I kind of just want to be away from all of that."

Sirius nodded. Again, he gave me that unconvinced look, but he was too kind to press further. "I get it. But you promise we'll see each other, right? I'll send my owls to the post office."

I pulled him in for a hug, suddenly aware of how much I'd miss this big idiot. "I'll write you every week. I'd say every day but I don't want to be annoy-"

"Every day," he confirmed.

Every day it was then.


	23. Fucking Flying Motorcycle

****A/N: Whoop whoop! New chap! I've been so on top of my game lately that I've had drafts written for the next chapters before I even post a new one**** ** **.****

 ** **Enjoy, my lovelies!****

* * *

 _ _Dear Sirius,__

 _ _Wow I really do miss your pretty fac__ _ _e__

No.

 _ _Dearest Dickhead,__

 _ _I hope your ugly arse is having fun without m__ _ _e__

Even worse.

 _ _Sirius,__

 _ _Things are quiet on my end. The old people to young people ratio of this village is pretty disastrous and depressing. I'm not sure I even want to admit that I've made friends with the old lady who lives next door.__ _ _She made brownies yesterday and I ate so many I thought I was going spontaneously combust.__ _ _I know we said we'd write every day but neither of us have kept up to that for the past week so don't you even try to hold it over my head.__

 _ _First day at the Ministry tomorrow! I'm dreading it. Alice sent me an owl to make sure I wasn't chickening out. I am. I don't even know why I agreed to this. Okay, freak out over.__

 _ _How are you doing? I know it'll boost your ego if I say it but I do miss you. And everyone else.__

 _ _Your pal, Elle__

...

It was less weird than I'd thought it'd be, being back at Minerva's cottage. We didn't spend much time around each other, she was always disappearing. Perhaps for meetings with the Order. I didn't even want to think about them, or the reason they were necessary.

The morning of my first day at the internship, I was sat eating breakfast with the Professor. She had a book open and was sipping tea while reading it. The woman was beautiful, I could only imagine her being more so in her younger years.

"Have you ever been in love?" I blurted out the words before even thinking. I couldn't believe how inappropriate my stupid mouth was deciding to be. "Sorry."

She looked at me for a moment with kind eyes. I could see a sadness behind them. "It's alright, Elspeth," she said. She let out a long sigh and closed her book. "Yes. I think so." I could only watch her to see if she wanted to continue. "His name was Dougal. A Muggle. We were to be married."

My jaw dropped. "What happened?" I asked.

She sighed to herself and drew her pointer finger in circles, stirring her tea with a non verbal spell. "I didn't want to end up like my mother. No magic. Hiding something like that. I ended it to pursue a job at the Ministry, then left that job two years later to teach at Hogwarts," she told me.

I gulped. "Do you regret it?"

"Every day." Her voice held so much solemness it hurt. "But then I think of my students. Can I really mourn the life I never had when I love my job and my family at Hogwarts so much?" She seemed to forget herself, trailing off in thought for a moment. "What prompted your question, hm?" she asked and smiled now, as if shaking off the memory. "Does my pupil find herself in love?"

"What? No!" I almost choked on my toast. "Of course not," I assured her. "You've gotten the wrong end of the stick.

McGonagall only chuckled and shook her head. "I should think you'll be needing to leave soon."

I pushed up my sleeve to read the time. She was right.

And so I left my plate in the sink and approached the fireplace. A handful of floo powder and the mutter of an address later, I found myself in someone else's living room. The carpet was beige and the walls were a duck egg blue to match the gaudy pink sofas. The Fortescue's.

Alice must have heard my arrival because the next thing I knew the girl had practically jumped into the fireplace with me, arms wrapped around my neck.

"Woah, there!" I shouted out, trying to steady myself.

"Oh! Sorry! My bad, here." My friend helped me out and I was happy to have my feet steady on the ground. "Lily's here too! She's going to meet with Marlene once we're at the Ministry. I'm so excited," she babbled. Every word that left her mouth was coated in positivity.

"Me too," I lied through my teeth.

"Elle!" Lily cried when she entered the room, giving me a much gentler hug than Alice had. "It's only been a week and I've missed you so much! I spent Wednesday at the Potter's house and I have so much to tell-"

"What?" I cut in. "Why were you at the Potter's?"

Alice seemed shocked, too. Then excited. "Oh, you're not dating James, are you?" she asked. knowing the question would rattle the other girl.

Lily's face went as red as her hair. "Of course not! Can't a girl and boy be friends without it being weird? Honestly."

"Yeah, yeah. Just friends. Sure. We believe you, I promise," I drawled sarcastically, earning a jab in the ribs.

After some catching up, the three of us headed into the city on a Muggle bus. The whole time I listened to the sound of Alice and Lily talking, my head rested against the window. I watched as a blur of houses and cars went by and wondered how I felt so at home somewhere so far from home.

It wasn't long until we found ourselves saying farewell to Lily, now in Whitehall. I was too busy trapped in my own thoughts to really pay attention to what was going on around me. Why hadn't Sirius written to me yet? How was he doing back at home?

"Your name, Miss?" A voice asked. Before I knew it a tall, thin man was looking down his spectacles at me.

"Oh. Uh, Elle. Elspeth Win- Gladwyn." I corrected myself before I made a mistake.

He raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure about that, Miss Gladwyn?" I didn't like the way he looked at me in an accusatory manner.

Alice looked annoyed at me and cut in. "She's just tired, sir. Early morning and night owls don't mix well, you see." Her bright smile seemed to convince him.

A woman with short brown hair approached us while the tall man seemed to be writing down details. Sadie Sedwick, she said her name was. I didn't really care. We followed her to the elevator and to what I assumed was the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I felt bad for poor Alice, because the girl must have thought we'd be out busting criminals. Instead, we spent approximately two hours sorting out old files, and afterwards were used as maids to get coffee for the real Aurors.

"I can't believe this," Alice said in annoyance. She slammed a file drawer closed and slung her bag over her shoulder ready for us to leave. "How is this supposed to be experience? How is this helpful?" she asked me.

"I dunno. Bullshit really, isn't it?" I sighed.

"Total bullshit," she whispered as we walked past a surly man with dark hair.

It was good to be outside again, even if the London air wasn't very fresh. The Ministry hadn't had many windows and the heat was almost unbearable. It was only the beginning of summer, too.

It was fun to see Marlene again as me and Alice were having a cool drink with her and Lily to end the day. By the time I clambered back into Alice's fireplace to go back to McGonagall's I was exhausted. Ready to hit the sheets, I dropped the floo powder that I held in my hand. Almost immediately my ears could sense the difference between the quiet of Hogsmeade and the bustle of London. I'd never be a city person, it seemed.

I went straight to my room, McGonagall nowhere to be seen, and shut my door behind me. The sun was starting to set, bathing my duvet in a shaft of orange light. It was when I shrugged off my blouse that I noticed the envelope on my drawer. Minerva must have picked up my mail with hers.

"What do we have here, huh?" I whispered to myself, picking it up and opening the contents. I recognised the handwriting immediately.

 _ _Meet me tonight, the 31st, if you get this in time. I'll be down by the clearing that looks over the Shrieking Shack. 8pm.__

 _ _\- Sirius__

Now I was worried. What on earth did he want to meet up so late for? I wanted answers and the only way to get them was to shrug on a jumper and find the spare house key I'd been left. My friend needed me.

My walk down to the clearing was more of a jog. I was thankful for the weather, it being warm and balmy instead of windy. I arrived thirteen minutes early and Sirius was nowhere to be seen, so I sat in the grass and looked over at the dilapidated shack. I tried not to be intrusive of Remus' situation, since I shouldn't have known anything, but it hurt every time I noticed a new scar.

The rumbling of an engine got my attention and I looked around in search of a vehicle. I couldn't spot anything until I looked up and spied a fucking motorcycle in the sky, slowly descending toward me. I'd forgotton about that. God, this was bizarre. The bike stopped a few metres away on the cobblestone path and I stood to watch my friend approach me. I saw he was carrying a backpack.

"Sirius?" I called out.

"I ran away," he blurted immediately.

I knew he would, but somehow I didn't see this coming. In the books it was James he ran to, not me. "Good. That's good," I said, arms hugging my body. I looked him up and down, drinking in his image.

"It certainly feels that way," he let out with a shaky breath. He laughed now, dropping his helmet to the grass and scooping me up. He whooped as he twirled me around in the air and I felt a few chuckles break free of my own lungs. "I'm free, Elle!" he exclaimed. He sat me back down on the ground and held my face in his hands, face alight. "I'm free!"

My hands covered his as I smiled. All I could think to do was hug him. "Where are you going to stay now? With James?" I suggested.

He pulled away. "I think. I just. I wanted to come and tell you. I'm sorry I hadn't been writing, they wouldn't let me send anything. I had to get out of there." His words were coming quickly, as if he hadn't been able to speak for days.

"Don't apologise," I said. I gave him a playful shove but he flinched at the action and I felt my heart drop into my stomach. "Look, it's going to get cold soon. Come in and I'll make you some coffee." I smiled up at him, so happy to see him again. "McGonagall's not home."

"I'd like that."

And so I watched him wheel his motorcycle behind me, smiling to himself before resting it up against the gate. I couldn't imagine the relief he'd be feeling. The freedom. My keys jangled in the door and the lock popped open, letting us enter and kick off our shoes on the mat. I led him to the kitchen and put the kettle on. Instead of sitting, he sort of shuffled about, looking around himself.

"So this is the old woman's place, huh? I figured there'd be more cat paintings."

I laughed. "So did I." The kettle whistled and I fetched two mugs from the cupboard. "Milk? Sugar?"

"You know how I take my coffee," Sirius said with a grin.

"Just checking, dickhead," I laughed.

I told him about my day while we sat there in warmth. Told him how the girls were doing, asked how the boys were doing. He choked on his drink when I mentioned Lily visiting James. Everything felt right again and I didn't think I could bare to see him leave just yet.

"Do you want to stay?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. He looked up at me from his mug. "It's late, you can take my bed." It felt like I needed to say that. I didn't want him to think... I didn't want him to assume... "I'll sleep on the floor, just promise to hide your bike and sneak out in the morning."

He let out a quiet laugh. "I'm not going to make you sleep on the floor in your own room, Elle. I'll take the floor." He finished his drink with a last gulp. "And thank you. I'm not sure if I can deal with Euphemia babying me tonight. I know she means well, it can just be a bit..."

"Overwhelming?" I offered. He nodded.

"Do I really have to hide the bike?" he asked with a pout.

"Yes."

"Is that a yes-but-you-can-get-away-with-ignoring-my-request yes or a-"

"Hide the fucking bike, Sirius."


	24. Sleepover

****A/N: Wow! I almost cried at all of the nice reviews you guys left me last time I updated! You don't even understand how much I appreciate it, and how grateful I am to have readers!****

 ** **Super fluffy chapter for today, I hope you enjoy :)****

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Out here in the middle of nowhere you could see pretty much every star in the sky. No light pollution to mask all the twinkling. I was sat in my bed staring at it all. Space. Perhaps I really had travelled through that vast field of nothing and everything, all at once.

"You know, Sirius is out there somewhere. Being beautiful, dazzling, one of a kind," My guest stated. Human Sirius was fluffing the spare pillow I'd given him, adjusting his body on the carpet across the room.

"The only dog star I need is in this room," I laughed, turning from the window to lay down on my side and pull my quilt up over my shoulder. "How's the floor?" I asked.

He grimaced. "Who needs a king sized bed when you have the natural mattress that Mother Nature gave us?"

"I'm pretty sure carpet isn't natural. Or the concrete foundation undernea-"

"Alright, alright!" Sirius threw his arms up. "Smartarse."

I smiled to myself. "This is nice, huh? Sleepover." It sounded so innocent, but somehow I knew if McGonagall found out I had Sirius in my room she'd never let me leave the house again.

My friend seemed to shiver a little. "If I wasn't so damn __cold__ I'd initiate a kinky girl-on-girl pillow fight."

I almost choked on my own saliva. "Sirius!" I shouted, pulling my covers tighter over my pyjamas. "You're awful!" I couldn't stop laughing now. Some of the stuff he said was so crude. "I was going to give you another blanket but just for that you can freeze."

He only chuckled at me. "Worth it for your reaction," he said.

"You have a way with words, truly," I told him. I turned over yet again so that now my back was facing him. "But we both really should get some sleep," I announced.

I heard him sigh, his blankets making a shuffling noise. "You're no fun," he joked. That was the last thing I heard my friend say before I dropped off to sleep.

 _ _Sometime in the unfathomable timeline of unconsciousness, I'd woken, but not quite fully. Dark was fading and growing brighter, only by a little. I could start to make out objects in front of me, around me. It was dream-like, but different. I felt both connected and disconnected to my surroundings, like a ghost in another realm. I was somewhere damp and cold, surrounded by stone walls and flooring. The kind of architecture you'd find in an old castle. The kind you'd find in Hogwarts.__

 _ _I took a few steps forward and realised I was in a chamber of some sort, one with a weird green gloom to it. Before me I saw great pillars of stone, or granite maybe? Decorative serpents weaved around them from top to bottom. I was in the Chamber of Secrets.__

 _ _It was as if as soon as I'd had the realisation, it triggered an event. I felt movement, I saw it. Out of the corner of my eye I spied slick scales, slithering along the ground. They made a clinking sound. I knew I shouldn't have, but I turned. I looked the Basilisk head on and felt it's yellow eyes make my muscles freeze before black consumed me again.__

I woke up in a cold sweat, springing up into a sitting position. I felt like a couldn't breath, like I hadn't been breathing until right now, like I'd just gotten control of my lungs back. "Elle? Elspeth?" I heard his voice whisper from the shadows of my room. Before I knew it his hand was on my back, rubbing calming circles into my spine. "Bad dream? Or the anxiety?"

I gulped on air. "Dream. Bad dream." Was it just that, or something more? How was I supposed to know? I hadn't had a vision since the one of Mary, and if that was what this was... did that mean I was supposed to open the Chamber of Secrets?

"Elle," Sirius whispered, almost a hiss, to get my attention.

I snapped out of my thoughts and really tried to connect myself to reality this time. "Yes?" I turned to him. He looked worried. I wasn't sure he'd gotten to sleep yet either. "It's okay, I'm okay," I assured him.

He tucked my hair behind my ear. It had been sticking to my damp forehead. "Are you sure? Promise?" he asked.

I nodded and wiped my clammy hands on my pyjama bottoms. "Promise. Honest, just a dream." I looked him in the eye. Sometimes I wondered what was going on behind those eyes. Sometimes it felt like I knew him better than the back of my hand, but then simultaneously not at all. Maybe it was because we were both so guarded. He had his issues, I had mine, but at least we knew each other's boundaries.

"I think you should get back to sleep," Sirius advised, and decided it would be okay to leave my side.

"Wait," I called out to him. He stopped and looked at me over his shoulder. "Come here." I shuffled over and patted the newly made space in my bed. Was that a weird request? All I knew was that I was too shaken to fall back to sleep on my own. The Basilisk's eyes were burned into the back of my mind. "Better than the floor," I offered as persuasion.

He looked at me for a moment before smiling and nodding. "Better than the floor," Sirius conceded, and slid in beside me. It was a single bed, unfortunately, which meant there wasn't much for me to do but roll onto my side and pull the covers up. He was so close that his body warmth made a very noticeable change, heat emanating from behind me.

"Elle?" Sirius spoke my name quietly. "I thought. I thought getting out of there, getting out of that house... I thought it would make the darkness stop."

I frowned and turned back over to face him. "What do you mean?" I asked him to elaborate.

He took a breath, looking as though he himself was trying to work out what he meant. "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. Happy to be free of them. But..."

"You still feel depressed?" I offered.

"Exactly."

"That's okay," I said. Because it was. "It's okay to fall apart sometimes. It's okay to feel sad, to not know when it's going to end." He looked at me and I draped my arm across his torso, snuggling into him. Perhaps to try and be of some comfort. "The important thing is that you know that it __is__ going to get better. There's going to come a day where you won't even flinch when someone shouts at you. You won't feel like everything is hopeless and pointless. You'll be so happy you won't want it to end. It'll come and I promise that with all of my heart."

Silence enveloped us for a moment, and I hoped I'd said the right thing. "Whatever would I do without you?" Sirius whispered into the dark.

I fell asleep to the sound of his gentle breathing.

When I woke, the birds outside were singing and the air held a chill that was unusual for the 1st of June. I guessed it must be early, since the sky still held a dark hue, but the sun was out. After my eyes had focused and I tried to rise, I found that I couldn't. At some point in the night, Sirius had turned over and wrapped his arms around me, his head resting in the crook of my neck. I was paralysed. What was I supposed to do? I hadn't been this close to him since the broom accident last Christmas and I found a hot blush surfacing to my cheeks.

Not knowing what to do, I decided to lay there until he woke up. The soft curls of his hair tickled my chin and I couldn't help but admire his sleeping face. He was so... __honest__ , right now. Not awake to put up his walls, his expression was without tension, something I hadn't often seen him wear. Even in the happiest of moments, when he was barking with laughter, he often held a shield of some sort.

Daringly, I reached out with my hand and ran my fingers through his perfect mane, just enough that he exhaled and adjusted his head, eyes blinking open. "Don't mess up my hair," he said simply, before tightening his grip on me and letting his eyes flutter closed again.

I couldn't help but laugh and try to untangle myself. "You need to get up! I can't have McGona-"

The kettle whistled and I knew, in that moment, I was walking on thin ice. Sirius' head shot up. "The witch is home."

In quick time, I pulled my friend from my bed and threw his leather jacket at him. I only had a moment to admire the few patches and badges he'd personalised it with. On the shoulder, there was a pin with __Padfoot__ embossed and I had to hold back a giggle. How endearing. "Out the window!" I hissed, pointing to his only exit.

"You're really keen on getting rid of me, huh?" He waggled an eyebrow at me while slipping his boots on.

I shook my head, holding a finger to my lips to shush him. "Now's not the time!"

I grunted while lifting the window open and stood back to gesture for him to leave. He threw his bag out first. It landed in the rose bush. Sirius was half way out of the window when he grabbed my hand and pulled me in to kiss my cheek. "Again, thank you," he said. My shocked blubbering seemed to suffice as a goodbye and he laughed, waving at me as he rounded the corner to where he'd hidden his bike the night before.

All the stress of sneaking him out over, I slid down my bedroom wall and buried my face in my hands. This boy was going to be the death of me.

Right. Now to say good morning to my Transfiguration Professor.

I smoothed out my pyjamas and turned the knob of my bedroom door. From the hall I could hear Minerva making her morning cup of tea. I could smell it, too. My feet took me to the kitchen and I nervously sat at the table, trying to act like nothing had happened. "Morning, McGonagall."

"You take me for a fool, Elspeth." The woman turned, mug in hand, and sat across from me. I could tell she was secretly taking pleasure in my shocked expression.

"Uh," I started. I didn't know what to say. "I don't know what you're on about." Yes, great idea. Play ignorant. Because __that's__ always worked out for me.

"I know the Black boy stayed here, and I know you just sneaked him out of your bedroom window," she explained. I slumped in my seat, wanting to hide forever. "I figured you weren't talking to yourself last night. Even if you _had_ bothered keeping the noise down, I would have known something was up from the sight of your friend tripping over a gnome in my garden."

Brilliant. "I'm sorry," I blurted, quick to the apology in hopes of preventing a homicide. "It's not like you think. It's his family, he had to run away, he-"

"I am well aware of Black's home life," Minerva cut in. She was? Did he speak to her about it? It would make sense. There was bound to be _some_ talking in all of the millions of detentions he'd had with her. "And because of that, I'm only grounding you for two weeks."

"Two weeks?" I groaned.

She shook her head in dismay and took a sip of her drink. "I may not be your mother, but we have rules in this house. You know them." She was right. "I don't appreciate you going behind my back."

I sighed and played with my hands. "I know. And I really am sorry."

She looked at me for a moment and nodded before pushing a plate towards me. "Have a biscuit, Miss Winslow."

In the distance I could hear the sound of a motorcycle engine revving.


	25. Stupid Boys and OWL Results

****A/N: Do you ever sometimes struggle to get a chapter long enough and then other times just keep writing and before you know it realise you need to stop because it's getting a bit long? Because I was the latter for today, whoops****

 ** **I hope you guys enjoy and thank you oh so much for the reviews as always!****

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There was a lot of things I missed about living in the Muggle world. Experiencing it all during the year 2015. I missed the internet, and how I could bring up a video of a cute cat on my screen in just a few clicks of a button. I missed all of my favourite music and books and tv shows that hadn't come out yet, perhaps hadn't even had its creator born yet. I was living in my Mum's era. She would have been a child now. Younger than me. Sometimes I wondered if she was out there somewhere, in this universe with me, just a couple of decades younger than the Mum I knew. I tried not to dwell on the idea.

Sometime in mid June, Lily visited me in Hogsmeade. For which I was extremely grateful as the only time I had left this bloody village was to spend mind numbing hours fetching coffee for Aurors at the Ministry. Internship-only house leave, Minerva had stated. It was a sunny day, all the leaves on the trees looking as though someone had opened them up in a __Photoshop__ file to increase the saturation. I wasn't a fan of the dusty, too-warm feeling that Summer brought every year.

I was sat in the garden with Lily, tending to the shrubs. I'd had to apologise to McGonagall for Sirius fucking up her favourite roses.

"...she's really adamant that he'll propose next year. I was like, Alice, darling, you're barely 16 years old!" My friend exclaimed, huffing and leaning back on her hands. I felt like I'd missed so much in the past couple of weeks. Thought I might have seen more of my friends already. "She's so wrapped up in love that she's seeing it in all of us. I swear to Merlin that I can't go anywhere near the male species without her hearing wedding bells."

I chuckled and fell back onto my bum from my crouching position, pulling my gardening gloves off. I'd given up with Lily actually helping now. "Speaking of romance, how are things going with James?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows at her.

She threw a handful of pulled weeds at me, laughing. "The words 'romance' and 'James' in the same sentence? I think not." She looked down at her lap and tugged at a loose thread in her dress. "Well, I was actually going to tell you that, um... I think he tried to kiss me?"

I stopped what I was doing and looked at her. "What do you mean 'tried'?"

"Don't look at me like that!" she exclaimed. "We were just hanging out, in London. He took me to an art museum he liked, it was actually quite... thoughtful of him. Like he actually has a brain and uses it to think-"

"Cut to the chase!" I laughed.

Lily smiled slowly to herself, reliving the memory. "We were sat on a bench outside, eating the ice cream we'd gotten, and I had some on my face... oh Merlin I sound so sappy!" She shook her head and looked at me, cheeks red. "He did the whole cliché 'you've got something on your face' thing and leaned in and I freaked out and jerked away but not __entirely__ because I didn't want it to happen and he looked so hurt Elle and I didn't know wh-"

"Lily!" I cut in. "You're rambling."

She sighed. "Sorry. I just don't know what to do," she admitted.

I thought for a moment, playing with the trowel in my hand. "Don't rush into anything you're uncomfortable with. Just because it didn't happen doesn't mean it won't ever happen, and just because you think you might have feelings for him that doesn't mean you have to kiss the bloke."

"I never said I had feelings for him," she said, sounding accused.

"You don't need to say it, Lils." I winked at her, earning myself another handful of weeds in my hair.

Lily sighed again, dramatically, and fell backwards onto the grass. "Alright! If we're talking about stupid boys then how are things with you and Sirius, huh? Have you seen him since school ended? He's living with James now, apparently. Didn't want to go into it when I asked."

How __were__ things between us? We'd been writing to each other fairly regularly since the disaster of that morning he unsuccessfully sneaked out. He seemed happy, living with James. They were like brothers regardless of blood relation.

"Elle, my love, you do get lost in your own thoughts a lot," Lily stated.

"Oh." I'd just realised I'd been digging aimlessly while thinking. "Yeah, things are good. He stayed here a couple weeks ago."

Lily shot up so fast I swore I heard a bone crack. "What? He stayed here?" she interrogated. I suddenly realised it might have been easier to skip over that small detail.

I put on my best poker face and shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah. The night he ran away. That's kind of why I got grounded but it's really not a big deal-"

"You were grounded? No wonder you didn't want to go out! Where did he sleep?" Lily pushed forward, determined to make me crack. "Godric! He shared your bed didn't he!" she exclaimed. I could tell how much she was enjoying this, especially the heat that was rising to my cheeks.

Flustered, I pushed her away from me, trying to ignore her laughter. "Nothing wrong with a bit of friendly cuddling! I think you forget the amount of times you've crawled into bed with me when the thunder gets too loud at Hogwarts."

"That's different," she insisted. "I don't have feelings like that for you, no matter how sexy those weeds look in your flowing mane."

"I'm going to kill you one of these days," I promised, picking the stupid plants out of my hair. Were you really best friends if you didn't tease the shit out of each other? "And what makes you think that Sirius has 'feelings like that' for me? And vice versa?" I asked, secretly desperate to hear more.

"Oh, he's so hopelessly in love with you! Anyone could see it. Or hear it, with how much he talks about you," Lily stated.

"Why does everyone keep insinuating that?" I asked. How come everyone was so convinced that there was something more going on? Surely if he wanted it to be more, Sirius would tell me himself. Did I even want him to have feelings for me? Did I have feelings for him?

"See! Multiple accounts of seeing-Sirius-gaze-at-you-like-you're-the-only-person-in-the-world." Lily giggled and went back to laying on her patch of grass.

"If you say so..." I trailed off, now thinking only of Sirius' face when he was sleeping, and the way he laughed with twinkly eyes. The way his bloody hands moved when he opened a textbook. And the few seconds as he grabbed my hand that day and planted a kiss on my cheek. Perhaps I shouldn't be overthinking the gesture too much. I was used to being physically affectionate with him after all. But something about the act felt different to the way a friend like Alice would peck my cheek as farewell. All I could feel was butterflies in my stomach when I thought of him, my mouth smiling of its own volition.

Oh, __fuck__. I'm catching feelings for Sirius Black.

...

Today I found myself standing outside of a house that was not much smaller than what one could describe as a manor. It was beautiful, really, and humble in a way. Granite walls were covered in ivy and worn down just enough to have character. My shoes crunched as I walked along the gravel pathway after catching my cardigan on the latch of the gate. I could practically hear the 2005 __Pride and Prejudice__ soundtrack playing in my ears.

"Pretty, isn't it?" said Lily, her arm hooked through mine. James had the great idea of us collectively opening our O.W.L. results together, and when James insists something you can't really get out of it. So here I was, approaching the Potter's house, presumably meeting the rest of the Marauders as well.

I nodded in agreement with my friend, glad she was here to make me feel less like I was intruding in someone else's home. " _Really_ pretty. Sort of reminds me of home, but bigger." My eyes widened as they trailed over the property. "Much bigger."

Lily turned her head to me as we neared the front door. "You must have a beautiful home then. I hope I get to see it someday. We haven't had a sleepover or anyth-" Evans was thankfully cut off by the door opening before we even had a chance to knock.

"Lils!" James exclaimed, running a hand through his hair as his other braced himself against the door frame. I suddenly felt invisible, his eyes only gazing at the redhead to my left. I cleared my throat. "Oh, Elle! It's so great to see you both." James scooped me in for an awkward hug, perhaps feeling more comfortable to embrace me than his crush. For a moment he hovered close to Lily, before settling with a kiss on the cheek.

"It's sweltering hot out here," I stated, rolling the sleeves of my cardigan and hoping he'd catch the hint.

"Of course, come in," James said. He, ever so spiritedly, motioned for us to follow him into his home. The relief that the shade gave us was immediate and I dabbed at a bead of sweat on my forehead. In the distance I could hear talking, a passionate conversation from the sound of it. A few voices I recognised, but there was another. It sounded older. "Dad got called in for work but Mum's here. She's actually been anxious to meet you, Elle," James said.

I was shocked. "I wouldn't think you'd talk about me enough for her to be interested," I said, confused.

James laughed as we rounded the corner into the kitchen, the other guests coming into my view. "Not me, silly. It's Sirius. He's your biggest fan, apparently." His voice trailed off as I drowned it out, losing focus on him and noticing my friend across the room. It had felt like years since I'd seen Sirius, when really it had been just over two weeks. He was handsome as ever, maybe even more so than normal, wearing a plain white tee and baggy joggers. It should be illegal for him to look so good in what he probably wore to bloody bed. His knees were tucked up to his chest with the way that he was sat at the table and he held a mug of black coffee cradled between his hands. The next thing I noticed was his smile as he stared straight at me and suddenly I felt stupid, embarrassed. I felt my mouth turn upwards and looked at the ground, playing with the hem of my skirt.

"You didn't tell me she was so beautiful, Sirius!" The older voice I'd heard earlier snapped me out of my daze and I looked back up to see a middle aged woman advancing towards me with her arms wide. "You must be Elle," she concluded.

I didn't really know what else to do but return the hug. She smelled like gingerbread and wildflowers. "Uh, yes, that would be me," I confirmed.

When she pulled away I noticed her hair. It was just as dark and wild as James' but with a splash of grey, her complexion just as warm and bronzed. Her eyes were so brown, crinkled around the edges from smiling too much. I could see where James got his good looks from. "Oh, look at you!" She held my face in her hands the way my Nan would when I hadn't seen her in a while.

"Euphemia," Sirius whined in embarrassment. His face had gone pinker than I'd ever seen it before and he seemed to shrink into his seat. "James, tell her to stop!"

"Mum," James moaned too now, distracted from his conversation with Remus and Peter. The whole gang was here.

Euphemia sighed and totted over to the counter where she had presumably been baking from the mess of flour I could see. "Alright, alright. Have you all got your letters?" she asked, looking eager to know how we'd all done.

Now I was nervous, almost too nervous to acknowledge Sirius when I sat next to him. God, I valued these results more than my G.C.S.E. results back in the Muggle world. Part of me thought it would be a curse to return and have to sit those exams too.

"Hey," Sirius whispered while James stood over us all, probably delivering some sort of motivating speech. I'd know if I was listening. "Your hands are shaking, Gladwyn." I looked down at my lap. They were. "You're gonna do just fine," he told me. His eyes looked comforting, and so I decided to believe in that look he gave me. Under the table I felt him squeeze my hand in reassurance and I might have fallen apart at his touch if it weren't for the room full of eyes I had to think of.

"Best of luck, lads." James started ripping his envelope open quite unceremoniously.

I tucked my finger under the seal of mine.

 ** _ **Ordinary Wizarding Level Results**_**

 _ ** _ **Pass Grades**_**_ _ _:__

 _ _Outstanding (O)__

 _ _Exceeds Expectations (E)__

 _ _Acceptable (A)__

 _ ** _ **Fail Grades**_**_ _ _:__

 _ _Poor (P)__

 _ _Dreadful (D)__

 _ _Troll (T)__

 _ _ **Elspeth Gladwyn has achieved:**__

 _ _Astronomy - E__

 _ _Care of Magical Creatures - O__

 _ _Charms - P__

 _ _Defence Against the Dark Arts - P__

 _ _Divination - T__

 _ _Herbology - E__

 _ _History of Magic - A__

 _ _Potions - E__

 _ _Transfiguration - P__

"Oh, bugger," I hissed under my breath, leaning back into my chair and surveying the piece of parchment again.

Sirius looked over to me, giving a questioning look. I simply angled my results page so that he could read it. I watched his eyes dart back and forth, and after a minute he looked up at me and smiled. "That's great, Elle."

I scrunched my eyebrows up. "I barely passed five subjects, Sirius."

"I think you forget you've only had a year at Hogwarts. We've had five," he explained. I guess he was right, it could have been much worse. But I also felt that I did shit in all the subjects that mattered. The ones that heavily involved spells.

"What about you?" I asked, but I didn't need to to know he'd done well. He was brilliant.

He shrugged. "I'm happy with them."

"You can tell me, it won't make me feel bad. I already know you're a bloody genius," I laughed. It was true. As much as he hated homework, it was because he was lazy, not because he wasn't capable. If he'd stop his pranks and getting detentions he'd easily be a model student. But we both knew that wasn't how Sirius rolled.

"Uh, a few O's and E's. Got an A in Care of. Which isn't surprising since I was more occupied with setting Kettleburn's wheelchair on fire than actually listening to him." Sirius laughed in a goofy way, remembering the event. I remembered it too, though I wish I hadn't.

"Well done, you big nerd," I congratulated him. I playfully tapped his arm and looked over to my other friends. Peter looked as though he was about to either rip his hair out or cry, Remus was laughing at James' grimace, and Lily was beaming.

Euphemia leaned over her son's shoulder. "Really, James? A __Troll__ in History of Magic?" She didn't look pleased.

"But look at all the A's! and E's!" He pointed to his results, desperate to avert her gaze from the T on the paper. "Maybe if Binns was a bit less incompetent then-"

"Oh, so it's the Professor's fault now?" Mrs Potter teased her son light-heartedly, getting back to the dough she'd been kneading before. "If that's so, then the rest of you should have fail grades too."

"And that is simply not the truth," Sirius stated, bringing his fingers together to form an A symbol in the air and sticking his tongue out at James.

The last thing I saw was Potter lunging over the table and tackling his friend to the floor.


	26. The Cockblocking Zamboni Driver

****A/N: Not as long as I hoped it would be, but here's another cute chapter for you guys! I really can't believe how much writing I've been doing. I thought I'd be further into the story by now and underestimated all the little events in between, but that's not a bad thing! I'm actually anxious for the day I get this finished since I enjoy writing it so much.****

 ** **Quick little question, do you guys think I should keep the author's notes at the top of the chapters or afterwards? Does it mess with the flow of the story having them at the top, or do you not mind at all?****

 ** **Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!****

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My thumb smoothed over the gold front of my locket. With a click, the clasp opened and I gazed at the picture inside with tears in my eyes. This fingernail sized family portrait was the only thing keeping me from forgetting Mum's face. Tilly's button nose, Hattie's cheeky grin. Little Albie might be growing up without me. Who knows?

I almost went and threw the necklace across the room in anger when I heard a loud bang at my window. "What the fuck?" I whispered, jumping up from my bed and wiping the fallen tear from my cheek. Outside it was dark, the evening having arrived a few hours ago, and the crescent moon shone bright and white. My heart leaped into my throat when a rock came flying at my window and hit the glass with another plunk. Carefully, I heaved the window open and just as I felt the night air ruffle my hair another stone flew past me, missing my head by a bloody inch.

"Sorry!" I heard someone whisper, able to hear their grimace in the tone of their voice.

"Is, is that Sirius?" I called out, and speak of the devil, he appeared from behind the bushes in Minerva's garden. Oh, L _ord_. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" I asked. I had to put in effort to keep my voice low.

"Sneaking you out. Why else would I be here?" he said matter-of-factly. As if I was stupid for not realising that. "You're not even dressed. Though I'm not objecting to those pyjama shorts-"

The pebble I'd picked up off my bedroom floor landed straight between his eyes. It didn't hit him with much force, but hey, I tried. "Some notice would have been nice! Now fuck off before you get me grounded again for the rest of the summer."

Sirius rubbed the bridge of his nose where I'd hit him and looked at me with a confused expression. "Did you not get my letter?"

"What letter?" I asked. And then I groaned, realising the stack of unopened envelopes on my desk, presumably left there by McGonagall. "Alright, alright. Wait here. And be quiet for once."

It was chilly tonight, so I grabbed one of my many jumpers and pulled it over my pyjama shirt. As I was getting dressed I wondered what the hell I thought I was doing. Where were we going? Did I really want to risk facing Minerva's wrath again? For the sake of seeing my favourite person then yes, yes I did.

A quick look in the mirror confirmed my suspicions and I frowned at the frizzy mess of hair I'd tied into a bun. Brilliant. But there wasn't much I could do now.

"Let's get going," I called out the window.

One leg first, I hovered over the ground, then I pulled the other through the window and dropped onto the grass making sure to miss Minerva's roses. Sirius was leaning against the fence and looked me up and down. "Messy. I like it."

"My whole existence is messy. Now, where'd you leave your bike?" I asked. Sirius motioned for me to hurdle the fence with him, instead of going around the house and risking McGonagall seeing us. Once clear of the cottage, we walked for a few moments closer to the centre of Hogsmeade, before he stopped me and pulled his motorcycle out from behind a tree. It just dawned on me now that I'd have to sit on that death trap. "Nope, I don't trust you. I've changed my mind," I said, shaking my head.

Black laughed and tugged at my wrist. "Come on, Gladwyn! You're the one who knocked me off my broom last Christmas. It's _your_ flying skills that should be under scrutiny, not mine." He ran a hand through his hair and offered me his helmet.

I contemplated it. "Is this even legal? You're sixteen years old-"

"Seventeen in a few months," he cut in with a smile.

"That doesn't change anything," I told him. I rolled my eyes but gave in, taking the helmet from his grasp. How did I even put the stupid thing on?

"Here," he offered, pushing it over my messy hair and pulling the straps under my jaw. "Stay still," he berated my fidgeting, concentrated on fastening the strap.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing. I could only imagine how silly I looked and his hands at my neck were only tickling me and making me laugh more. "I'm s-sorry, I just, I just, oh my God." He managed to click the fastening in place and stood back to observe the overall look. "Am I beautiful yet?" I asked, placing a hand on my hip and pouting.

"Safety is undoubtedly sexy."

"Did they tell you that in sex ed?" I asked.

"Of course," Sirius said with a wink. "Now get on behind me."

He hopped onto the bike with ease and started it up, the engine making a low gravelly sound. I was already regretting this, but I did as he said. I was shorter than him, and that made it harder to get on, but once I was it didn't feel as unsafe as I thought it might. "What do I hold onto?" I asked. I really didn't feel like falling to my death tonight.

"Me, you silly goose." Sirius reached behind himself and grabbed my arms, pulling them around his waist. The swift motion surprised me and I felt my heart in my throat.

"This doesn't feel very secure, what if-" My objections were cut off as we lurched forward. I closed my eyes immediately, a shriek escaping my lips. I didn't even realise that I'd tightened my grip on my friend so much that my heartbeat was probably pounding against the back of his leather jacket. "You absolute arsehole!" I cried out into the air. I could feel we were gaining altitude but I was too scared to look.

Sirius must have been concentrating too much to laugh at my expense, because instead he simply tapped my hands and said, "Look at the stars, Elle." And so I did. Up here they were even more beautiful than I could imagine, and somehow seemed bigger than usual. I carefully averted my eyes and looked below us to find that we were much higher than any ruddy broom had taken me before. But, surprisingly, it wasn't too bad.

"How long?" I shouted, hoping he could hear me over the wind.

"We'll be there soon," he promised. I didn't know if he was right, but time seemed to go quickly when all I did was focus on not freaking out. I didn't know what was making me more nervous, being a couple hundred feet up in the sky or having my arms around his waist.

Soon enough, I saw lights in the distance and Sirius started to descend. Our destination was a small town and we parked behind the back of some sort of... store, maybe? I jumped off of the bike and almost kissed the ground, thankful for my feet to be somewhere steady. "Where are we?" I asked my friend. "You're not kidnapping me, are you?"

He laughed and reached for the helmet strap under my chin. "No, not kidnapping you."

When I was free of the helmet it was nice to feel a breeze hit the nape of my neck. That thing was like a sauna for your brain. I found that my palms were sweaty from anxiety and wiped them on the front of my jeans. Sirius motioned for me to follow him to the back doors of the big building and retrieved a set of keys from his pockets. "Consider this an early birthday present." He shoved the creaky door open and we walked in. My mouth almost dropped open as I viewed the ice rink before me.

"Why the fuck do you have keys to this place?" I asked, racing ahead and leaning against the railing. I'd never been ice skating before.

"A... friend," he said.

I looked at Sirius, who was now disappearing behind the counter. "Please don't tell me you stole those keys."

He popped up into view again and slammed a pair of skates onto the worktop. "What size are you?" he asked, ignoring my question.

"He totally stole those keys," I said to myself, rounding the corner and approaching him. "Four and a half. So a five, maybe."

Sirius smiled and searched for a moment before handing me a pair by the laces. "Ready?"

After lacing up my skates, which took a while, and wondering how legal this all was, I hobbled over to the edge of the ice and braced myself on the railing. "I'm starting to wonder if you're trying to kill me," I mumbled.

"That would be no fun. Now give me your hands." Sirius practically grabbed my wrists and pulled me forward onto the ice. There was no going back now. "Take a few steps forward, and then glide a little," he instructed. I did as he said, albeit with a lot of wobbling. "Right, now try that again, but keep taking steps."

"I don't know about this, Sirius," I complained worriedly. I felt like I was going to trip and land on my arse any second. "Oi, don't let go!" His hand started to retreat from my wrists so I grabbed it back.

He laughed, and kept balancing me. "I can't hold you up forever."

"I'll bloody well make you if I have to." I took another step and gained some speed, the act becoming easier with each glide across the ice. "I'm guessing you've done this before?" I looked up from my concentrated stare at my feet for a moment to question him.

Sirius nodded. "When we were younger, me and James used to come here every time I stayed at his house. Sort of grew out of it over the years, I guess."

I almost stepped on his foot a couple of times. "And why'd you bring me?" I asked.

"Maybe an excuse to spend time with you." He smiled at me, all toothy and boyish, and I felt my stomach do a flip. That was right before my __legs__ did a bit of a flip and I lurched forward, slamming onto the ice.

"Fuck," I choked out. My hands hurt from bracing myself and I felt a little winded, but overall I was glad I hadn't repeated my habit of falling on top of Sirius Black this time.

"Elle? Are you alright?" Sirius glided effortlessly to my side and crouched down, offering a hand. "Did you hurt anything?" he asked in concern.

I rolled onto my back, laughing. "I'm awful at absolutely everything!" I exclaimed, and Sirius began laughing with me. "This is giving me war flashbacks to last Christmas," I told him.

"Tell me about it!" Sirius exclaimed, flopping down next to me on the ice. The cold was kind of refreshing with how hot the summer had been so far. "Thankfully you're the only fallen soldier today."

"I dunno about that," I said. "You're on the floor with me. It's my word over yours."

Sirius mocked a gasp. "You? Ruin my reputation? I don't think so, I've been working up my street cred for too long." He started tickling me then, and my hands waved about trying to get him to stop. Tears ran out of my eyes soon enough from laughing so hard and the only way to get him off of me was to fight back and tickle his armpit. How romantic.

But it didn't last long, a door at the other side of the rink opened and a shocked man pointed at us.

"It's you!" he shouted at Sirius.

My head snapped to my friend. "How does he know you?"

"That's the Muggle Zamboni driver I nicked the keys off of," Sirius explained. "And now would be a good time to run."

And so we did, falling to the ice a couple of times as we scrambled to get to our shoes. The Muggle man seemed more occupied with shouting out into the corridor at someone than actually chasing us. We only just had time to pull our skates off and grab our shoes before legging it out the back door where we came in when the Muggle returned with his friend. It had been raining while we were inside and the wet concrete seeped through my socks, but my priority was getting on Sirius' bike and being out of sight before the police were called.

"Hold on tight," he told me. We lurched forward again, ascending into the air, and this time didn't feel as scary as the last. Perhaps it was something you had to get used to, just like flying a broom or skating on ice.

"Thank you," I said once we were in the clear and amongst the stars again. I reached forward and planted a kiss on my friend's cheek like he had done those weeks before.


	27. Spin the Bottle

****A/N: Wow. I was reading over some old chapters and I hadn't realised how much my writing has improved. (Or at least, I hope it has, please don't roast me). If I ever find the time I might go back and make spelling/grammar corrections.**** ** **(Edit: Gernumblies from the future here. Yes, Mary, corrections are exactly what you're making right now).****

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I'd spent the day in London with Alice, our objective apparently to be finding a pretty dress for her and Frank's date next week. I can't say I paid much attention to anything because my thoughts were elsewhere. Weren't they always? It was almost like when I was pulled through one plane of existence and into another, my bloody brain was left behind. Felt like that most of the time.

The object of my thoughts was a certain boy, and I cursed myself for it. I always told myself I'd never be one of those people that went all sappy for someone. It clouded your personality, from my experience. I once had a friend, a boy I met in group therapy. Kit. He was my only friend, really, since the bullying at school had gotten bad. Best friend by default more than anything. But he was kind, and handsome, all freckly and blonde. He fell for a girl in our group, I didn't know her too well. It was her that seemed to whisk Kit away from me slowly. It started with the talking, all Kit would ever talk about was Shannon. Shannon this, Shannon that, worse than Alice with Frank. Then he started cancelling plans, ignoring messages. But maybe it wasn't the Curse of Romantic Love, maybe his growing closeness to his future girlfriend amplified the weakness in our friendship. Maybe he realised our relationship was just one of circumstance. I didn't know. All I knew was that I didn't want to be that friend.

"Shall we stop by the Potter's before going home?" Alice chirped, and I focused my attention back on her.

It was a weird suggestion, since her friendship wasn't too close with neither James nor Sirius. "Oh, okay. Why?" I asked.

The girl smiled and hooked her arm through mine. "I haven't seen the boys since exam time. It'll be nice to catch up," she stated.

"If you say so," I conceded, and yelped as my friend tugged me down a quieter street.

After walking for a few minutes, Alice stopped and set down her bag before rummaging in her pockets. Finally, she retrieved her wand and held it up in the air. "I do wish we were old enough to apparate already," she said with impatience in her voice.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"The Knight Bus," she said, looking at me as if I was mad for not understanding. The expression only lasted a moment before she remembered that I'm not a normal witch. "Oh, sorry Elle."

"Quite alright," I assured her.

The sound started off as a low rumbling in the distance until it was impossible to miss the triple decker bus that was hurtling around the corner. The bus stopped just in time and I found myself having to jump back from how close it got to the bloody curb. The doors slid open and a stout man offered his hand. "I'll be taking you ladies' bags," he explained. Alice handed over her shopping bags and stepped up into the vehicle, seemingly okay with how dangerous the thing seemed to be. Was I the only one in this world with common sense?

Having no other choice, I smiled at the man and followed her onto the bus. Almost immediately after finding my footing, the door closed behind me and the bus jolted forwards. I reached out and grabbed the first thing I felt so that I could steady myself, said object ending up being a poor old woman's arm. I apologised profusely and then, with a lot of effort, stumbled to sit next to Alice.

"I hate this. So much," I whispered to her, all the while clinging onto the rail of the seat in front of me.

Alice simply giggled and said, "It is a bit rough, isn't it?"

The journey was quick, this bus not confined to a speed limit or most general rules of driving or fucking physics. It squished between buildings and cars and other buses, skirted around sharp turns, and finally led us to our destination. I almost fell out of the doors when we arrived, feeling as though I was going to puke on James' front lawn.

Alice lightly patted my back. "It'll be less shocking next time," she promised. I wasn't so sure about that. "Come on, we'll be late."

I slung my backpack back over my shoulder. "Late for what?" I asked. She didn't answer.

We approached the Potter's front door and I rose my fist to knock, but Alice had other ideas. She simply turned the handle and the door popped right open, not even locked. Before I knew it, she'd grabbed my hand and was pulling me through to the living room.

"Alice, I'm pretty sure this is breaking and entering-"

My protests were cut off when about ten people jumped out from behind the furniture and shouted, "happy birthday!". I jumped back a bit, feeling adrenaline spike through my body. The shock made my heart hammer and I had to blink away tears. Why, oh why did I have to be like this, why couldn't I be fucking normal.

I tried to swallow and smile, but it must have faltered because Sirius was suddenly coming over. "I didn't realise. Merlin, I'm such an idiot," he mumbled, mostly to himself, before pulling me in for a hug. I tried to focus on that, solely that, the way his crumpled shirt felt under my hands, the way his heart beat against my chest. Not on the shock, not on the anxiety. Sirius, focus on Sirius only.

"Breathe for me, okay bud?" I heard him whisper into my hair. Maybe the others hadn't noticed yet.

Inhale, ten seconds, exhale, ten seconds. The pounding in my ears slowed down, becoming nothing but a murmur, and my legs felt more like jelly than as if they were on fire.

"Thank you," I whispered back before pulling away.

When my eyes combed over the room again everyone was simply still chatting and cheering, smiling without a suspicion. The Marauders were here, as well as Lily, Mary, and Dorcas. Frank too, by Alice's request I'm sure. I received hugs from almost everyone.

"It's not even my birthday yet, you bloody idiots!" I exclaimed. "Two more days, yet."

"This was a convenient date for everyone," Lily explained and handed me a paper cup.

I looked at the contents and frowned. "Do I even want to know what's in this concoction?"

She bit her lip and proceeded to laugh. "No, probably not."

The next second, James whistled into the air to get everyone's attention. "Gift giving time! Gather 'round, soldiers!"

And so I followed what everyone else was doing, not looking forward to the event. Don't get me wrong, I was so grateful that anyone would want to spend money on me, or had the thought to give me something, but the act of receiving those gifts was almost painful. I was awful, and awkward, at accepting presents. What did I say other than thank you? It felt like that alone wouldn't suffice to show my gratitude.

Lily was the first, handing me a parcel that felt soft, like there was clothing inside. It was wrapped beautifully, as I would expect from the person who wrote my Christmas card in gold cursive. I carefully ripped the paper to reveal the exact pair of mom jeans I'd pointed out to her the other day.

"How observational," I laughed, pulling her in for another hug. "Thank you so much, Lils!"

Alice eyed the jeans jealously. "I can't promise I won't try to steal those if you bring them back to Hogwarts," she joked. Or at least, I hoped it was a joke.

"I can't promise that either," Sirius said between sips of his drink. "They'd make my arse look phenomenal." My eyes were going to fall back into my head with how hard I rolled them.

From Alice I received a charm bracelet with only two charms. An __E__ , for my name I presumed, and a rose. "That one represents me," she said. Remus gave me what was apparently a rather obscure book, written by a magical author. Lastly, James and Peter gave a joint present of some sweets from Honeydukes. "Didn't really know what to get you, mate," James had said.

I was so happy and thankful, genuinely not able to see this surprise party coming from a mile off. After the gift giving was over, James announced we were going to play a game of spin the bottle. I'd now decided that it was an awful idea to put him in charge. I wasn't sure anyone had even elected him this position.

"You've become corrupt with power," I told him as he drained the bottle of butterbeer in hand.

Potter placed the bottle in the middle of the living room and we all sat around it. In the first spin, it landed on Remus, and then James. Something told me that Lupin wasn't the one James had been hoping for. Nevertheless, the boy grabbed his blushing friend and planted one on his cheek.

"You didn't even do it properly!" Mary objected.

James threw his hands up in the air. "It's not like I can force the poor bloke."

This time, Dorcas reached out and spun the bottle. It whizzed around in circles until landing on Mary and I could tell the girl suddenly regretted touching the stupid thing. "If it lands on anyone else I'll kill them," she said to her girlfriend. Unfortunately, the bottle ended up on Sirius. I'd be lying if I denied that a flare of envy shot through me.

"Oh, fuck no!" Mary made a face of disgust. "I'd rather snog Peter, and I'm not even straight."

I laughed now, at both Peter and Sirius' expense. "Calm it, MacDonald," Sirius said, thoroughly offended. "I don't like you much either, but we both know the rules." Lily was next to me almost rolling in tears of laughter.

Dorcas shook her head. "Cheek only."

"Arse cheek?" Sirius offered, earning himself a slap around the head.

Ultimately, Mary's lips came in contact with Sirius' cheekbone for about a millisecond. Maybe not even that. And I was secretly grateful. A few spins later and I sat in panic as the bottle rolled and sat pointing me dead in the face. Oh, God.

"I'll pray for you as I spin it," Alice promised.

The bottle spun, again and again, before stopping at Peter. Prayers didn't seem to do much. Heat rose to my cheeks as I looked at the poor boy. I could see he didn't want this any more than me. Or at least I hoped he didn't, because that would be awkward as fuck. I stood from my place, wobbling a little from the alcohol I'd been drinking. It didn't taste too great. "I'm sorry," I said. "But this is not how I'm spending my first kiss, regardless of who the bottle chose." I needed some water.

I ignored their complaints as I left the room and found the kitchen. I set my paper cup on the side and fetched a glass from the overhead cupboard before rinsing it once and filling it up with tap water. Sirius entered the room just as I was leaning against the counter and taking a sip.

"Don't feel bad, I would've dodged that bullet too," he said, devilish grin in place.

"I wasn't dodging a bullet," I said. "Peter's sweet."

Black simply nodded and joined my side, leaving his drink on the counter. "Come on, I haven't given you my present yet."

I looked at him and watched as he took my hand, gently leading me away. "Where the fuck are you taking me, Sirius?"

"Trust me!" he exclaimed. And so I did. I followed Sirius up the stairs of the Potter's house. I could see multiple doors down the multiple hallways, but my friend led me into one room. We entered and I took a moment to take in my new surroundings. A small double bed was pushed into the corner by the window, blankets strewn across the burgundy duvet. The walls were a warm beige, probably the default colour they'd been painted before the current owners bought the house. But that didn't really matter as posters of famous Quidditch players and even some sketchy drawings covered most of the surface space. A desk and a chair lived in the corner with a dying plant and a watering can lost among loose pieces of parchment and Quidditch Tournament tickets. Across the other end sat an old piano, made of some sort of dark wood.

"Huh. So this is the shit hole you let the house elf live in?" I joked.

"Very funny." Sirius approached his bed and sat on the mattress, reaching for a wrapped parcel.

I joined him, sinking into the soft covers. "I actually love it," I said.

He looked at me, confused. "You haven't even opened it yet."

"No, I meant your room!" I laughed and brought my legs up, crossing them. "It's very you. You know, has your aura and shit."

Sirius chuckled and tucked his hair behind his ear. I wasn't sure in the low lighting of the evening but I swore I saw a blush rise to his face. I hadn't considered it, but this was probably pretty intimate for him. This was the guy who put on a facade of arrogance as an emotional shield, but I knew that behind all that was a scared boy. I wondered how many people he'd let get as close to him as he'd let me.

"Go on, then," he prompted me.

I tucked my finger under one of the taped flaps of wrapping paper and tugged it open. I slid out what looked to be a book. Worn, and cracked, but well loved. When I flipped it over I saw the words __Pride and Prejudice__ typed out at the top. I opened it, and scrawled on the first page in ink was a messy __To my dearest Elle.__

"It's my copy," he said.

I shook my head. "But I thought you said you hadn't read it?" When I looked back up at him he was smiling. "That night in the blanket fort?" I tried jogging his memory. It felt like decades ago.

"Haven't you learnt yet to not take everything I say at face value?"

He had a point. "Thank you, Sirius. I love it." I brought my arms up and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him in for a hug. "It's wonderful," I whispered into his hair. I lingered for a moment, not wanting the feel of his arms around my waist to leave. But no hug could last forever.

When I pulled away he shifted back further onto his bed, back leaning up against the wall. I joined him and sat where he patted the duvet with his hand. "So you haven't had your first kiss?" Maybe it was the alcohol but I could've sworn I watched him lean in a bit.

In panic, I turned my face away from him, feeling heat rush to my cheeks. "What?"

A moment of silence wrapped in hurt. "Downstairs. You said you didn't want your first kiss to be a game of spin the bottle," Sirius explained. "Which is understandable."

"Oh," I frowned. "Yeah. Is that weird?"

"No," Sirius said, and I knew he meant it. "You're only sixteen."

"Almost," I corrected him. "What about you?" I asked. I'd wondered. Sirius was handsome, beautiful even, and turned a lot of heads. But he didn't ever seem interested in them. I'd never once seen him flirt with someone in my whole time knowing him.

He chuckled and looked down at his lap, playing with his hands. "I've only kissed one person, surprisingly. You probably think I'm some sort of womaniser."

"No, not really," I told him and shook my head.

He smiled at this, glad I hadn't gotten him all wrong, probably. "It was... it was only last year. Before you came."

"Oh, do tell," I said, turning to him.

"The boys and I, we were, uh, sampling some firewhiskey for the first time. James had connections, some older students, and we smuggled it into our dorm. Before I know it, I'm a little bit more than tipsy and James and Peter have fallen asleep. I dunno, we were just... experimenting?" I could see his nervousness, telling me this, in the way he played with his hands.

"You kissed Remus," I concluded. It wasn't what I expected, but somehow knowing it was Remus made me feel less jealous. Maybe because I liked Remus. Maybe because it was with a friend, and they were still friends. Just that. "I didn't know you liked boys."

"I like both," he said, mirroring my words from months before. "We're just friends, you know." He looked up at me and held my eyes for a moment. "Me and Remus. Nothing more," he assured me.

I nodded, feeling the drink start to hit me more, and rested my head on his shoulder. We sat in silence for a while until I spoke again.

"I miss them. My family." Maybe I shouldn't have said anything but I couldn't hold it in any more.

"Haven't you seen them this summer?" he asked.

"No. I mean. I just haven't found the time. I look at this picture of them when I feel really shit at night," I said, my hand disappearing under my shirt to find my necklace. "In this locket." My fingers found the metal loops of a chain and I tugged to pull it out to show him, but to my horror something else came out in my hand. The Time Turner.


	28. The Whole Truth

****A/N: A kinda short one for now, guys! Who am I kidding? I've written much shorter chapters. Been busy lately, but I'm happy with how I wrapped this one up! Lots of, uh, talking. Which is long overdue for Sirius and Elle, I think. Communication is key in relationships, my lovelies**** ** **.****

 ** **I know some of you are really anxious for all the gooey couple stuff, but our babies are still only teenagers, only just realising their attraction to each other. I didn't want to rush things at all, but I promise the good stuff is coming soon! They've made a big step in their friendship!****

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"Is that... what I think it is?"

I jumped up from the bed and tucked the Time Turner back under my shirt before turning to look at Sirius. "No! I mean, yes. No, I mean." Fuck. "I don't know what I mean. I..."

Sirius stood up and looked at where I'd hidden the stupid object that had gotten me in this mess in the first place. I kept it around my neck and tucked away most days. It wasn't the sort of thing you left lying around, especially when I wasn't sure if it was like any other Turner out there. This might be my only ticket home. "You're just full of surprises, huh?" he said in a daze, staring at the golden device.

"Apparently," I said.

"Are you going to explain?" He waved a hand at my chest.

What could I say? How many wizards or witches had the chance to own one of these? In what circumstances? "For studying. It's for studying. Yep. So I could, uh, get in all that extra work."

Sirius looked disappointed. "A good lie, but a bad liar." Shit. "I know you better than that, Elle."

What was I supposed to do now? "What if I'm keeping secrets for your own good?" Was it really that, at this point? Or was I just scared of losing him?

"I'm not sure why you'd need to lie about your family for me. Or why you'd need to lie about pretty much everything behind the scenes," he said, and I thought I heard his voice break a little. "You've always known a little too much."

"I'm not, I'm just. I just. I can't explain it, Sirius. I don't want you to leave." That was the truth. Everyone left in the end, or was taken from me. I'd lost everyone. Dad, Kit, and now the rest of my bloody family.

My friend ran a hand over his face and let out a long breath before breaking. "You know me! You know I'd stick with you through anything! And yet all this time I've had to bite down on my tongue every time you spin out a new story or excuse! I'm not a fucking idiot."

I was panicking now. I'd fucked up everything. After hearing my friends cheering and talking downstairs, I ran to the door and shut it. I couldn't let them hear this.

"I know, alright? I know I've been a fucking dick! But I didn't choose this!" I motioned around me. "I didn't choose any of this!" I exclaimed and slid down the door, sat on the carpet, and buried my face in my hands. I was almost too exhausted to cry any more.

"Then tell me. Fucking tell me." Sirius sat in front of me, leaving an inch of space to buffer. He reached out and took my hands, a strong but gentle gesture, and uncovered my face. "I'm not leaving you. As much as I want to run, as much as I've wanted to push you away this whole time before you could hurt me, you're stuck with me now," he promised. And I guess he had a point. He knew something was up, and he could have ended this friendship at any point. But he didn't.

"You're a character in a fucking book," I blurted out before my brain had control over my mouth. I was close to losing it. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Sirius looked like he was holding back from screaming at me and went to stand. "If you're not going to take me seriously then-"

"I'm not having you on!" I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. "Honest to God, no more lies. Look me in the eyes." I grabbed his face, a hand at each cheek. "No more lies. I promise." He held my eyes. Maybe if I kissed him now we wouldn't have to talk about this. Maybe it'd distract him. No, that would be a shitty thing to do.

Could I really tell him this? In all the internet posts and films I'd seen about time travel, they all said that the slightest things could make changes bigger than you could imagine. The more prominent worry seemed to be of altering the future negatively. Or maybe positively, but making it so that certain people would never exist. If I wasn't in my universe, did I have to worry about erasing my own life? Even here, would changing the fates of so many people be bad if that was what I was here for?

"I come from somewhere else. It's so, so far away. Think of universes. There's billions of them, of different parallels. In my world, yours is just a story in a book. Seven books, to be exact." Sirius was listening but I could see him trying hard to comprehend it all. I'm not sure I'd believe someone myself if they said they'd read about my life in another universe. "They're about James' son. Fuck, this sounds bloody mad, but I fucking swear I'm being honest. I'm not mad."

He nodded. "Okay. Right. James' son. Continue." I was surprised he was to eager to understand.

"They were my favourite books, and you were one of my favourite characters. Maybe that's... weird? Yep, that's weird. You were older in the books, obviously. Harry's Godfather. That's-"

"James' son. He always said he liked the name Harry."

"Yep. Well, he has Harry with Lily-"

"You're joking! Lily? She really ends up seeing something in him?" Sirius was leaning forward now, like a child being told a bedtime story.

"You're believing the whole universe thing, but can't fathom that your best friend would marry the girl he's been pining over for years?" I was relaxing again now.

"Have you seen the bloke? He's an idiot. My idiot, but an idiot nonetheless," Sirius stated. Can't say he was wrong.

"He ends up growing out of the bullying. And pranking. Apparently," I told him. "That's why she started dating him. But I think I might have made things go faster."

Sirius rubbed his forehead, as if all the information was giving him a headache. "How did you get here? Why? I mean, it always seemed like you just showed up out of nowhere."

I laughed, exasperatedly, and looked up at the ceiling. "Yeah, I guess I did in a way. That's where the Time Turner comes in. I got it for my birthday, thought it was a replica, spun it, ended up forty years in the past. And in a completely different plane of existence. Which... doesn't make any sense, but none of this does really. Dumbledore found me. We decided to make up a story so that I could stay at Hogwarts close to him. So he could keep an eye on me and figure this crazy thing out. That's why I was staying with McGonagall. Because I have no home to go to on breaks."

Sirius thought for a moment, taking it all in. "That sounds lonely," he said, quietly.

"Incredibly fucking lonely," I agreed, and finally broke down. This whole year of chaos and anxiety and new beginnings came crashing in at once, flooding my brain and spilling out as tears on my cheeks. Sirius pulled me into his chest and I cried harder than I had in a long, long while. I held his shirt in my fists, tight as I could, afraid to let go. Maybe it was crazy to think, but his arms felt like home when they were wrapped around me. In moments like this I felt safe, and calm, like the world couldn't touch us.

"I promise I'll never leave you. Never, okay?" Sirius whispered against my hair.

I pulled back for a moment to wipe my face and sniff. When I spied the tears stuck in his eyelashes, I reached out and pushed them away. "We're gonna drown in our tears." I laughed through the sobs, regulating my breathing again.

"Sometimes you just have to get it out, Gladwyn." My friend hid his blush behind his hair and looked down at his lap.

"It's Winslow," I corrected him.

His eyes met mine in confusion. "Your name?"

I nodded. "Dumbledore thought it'd be... a wise decision. In case I go forward in time and stay here or something. It'd be weird if people looked back and saw another Elspeth Winslow who looked exactly like me, with the exact same name. Or if I imprint myself in the book back in my universe and people are confused as to why some woman I've never met has designed a whole character around me. I dunno. Complications of Time Travel, I guess."

"Makes sense," he agreed, nodding. "Winslow's a much nicer name, anyway."

I beamed at him and said, "Thank you, Sirius Orion Black."

Sirius groaned and hid his face in his hands. "Thank my parents," he said. He laughed for a moment before asking, "How much do you know? About me?"

I thought for a second. Maybe it made him uncomfortable knowing that I knew more than I should. But no detail from a book could truly let me know him. I'd figured that one out for myself.

"Not loads. I mean, I know how shitty your family is. Belief-wise. I know things about Regulus you might not want me to say. But they haven't happened yet, and they might be one of things I have to stop." He looked at me, as if waiting for me to continue. "I know how the war's going to go and who's going to die. Or should die, at least." His name was on that list. "I know about Remus, too, and why you lot disappear some nights at the castle."

His face was a mix of intrigue and fear. Fear of the unknown, I supposed. Realisation that he's a part of something bigger. "Well, that's just not fair, is it?" Sirius scooted over so that we were both sat up against the door, listening to the soft murmuring of the radio downstairs, mixed in with drunken laughter. "How about you tell me _your_ story? That's the one I want to hear."

...

I told him it all from the start. I was born in the South of France to John Albert Winslow and Brigitte Dupont. They met while my father was studying abroad at university. Romantic, huh? Apparently so, because they got married a year after meeting and had Hattie two years after that. Dad worked for the company he inherited from his grandfather while Mum stayed at home to put hours of work into her paintings and look after us children. Not cooking, though. Dad would always do the cooking. Not that I remembered, most of it was information I'd been told by Mum since I was only four years old when we moved away. Sometimes I was so sure of the memories, the little cottage nestled away in the hills. Bathed in scattered sunlight from the obstruction of the surrounding trees. Me and Hattie wading in the pool in the garden, playing hop scotch, chasing after each other when we were having fights and tantrums. One time we ran straight through the flowers Mum had just finished planting along the garden border. I think she almost cried.

But then Dad got ill. Cancer, they said. Brain tumour. I remember the day he came home after finding out the news. I remember the way he had to catch Mum falling to her knees in sobs. I remember the way they sat me and Hattie down on the sofa to tell us we were moving to England to be with his family. "Daddy's sick," they said.

I didn't really understand the severity of the situation until the operation. The doctors had managed to remove the tumour and after six weeks of chemo, Dad was clear of the cancer. It lasted about a year before his headaches came back in full swing and more tests were done. Terminal. I hated that word. It's the kind you never want to hear.

July 14th, 2007 was the day my Dad died. The funeral was held a week later. I was only six years old. I didn't talk to Sirius much about that. Even saying it made me start crying.

When I was too young to read much, Dad read my __Harry Potter__ books to me before bed. He'd buy each one the day they came out and we'd both excitedly gaze in awe at the new artwork on the cover. He didn't get to read the last one. Maybe that's why I clung onto the books so much. Who am I kidding? That's exactly why I clung onto them. In a way, pretending the ending wasn't an ending let me believe it wasn't all absolute. That maybe Dad's keys would jingle in the door and he'd walk in, smiling through the auburn stubble on his face. Maybe that's why I was here to make a new ending. For closure, I guess.

Two years after Dad passed away, Mum had been seeing a new guy for a while. They married when she fell pregnant with Tilly. He was nice, Jack was his name. They divorced six months after Albie was born. Something told me Mum had never really gotten over Dad. Maybe she never will.

I was bullied in high school, not for much reason. I just happened to be the weakest link. The unlucky one. I had friends for a while and it was my fault, really, that we fell apart. My anxiety was getting worse, and I'd just been diagnosed with GAD. I never left the house. Then there was Kit for a while. Then he left too. All in all, my life was so bloody lonely until I came here. It kind of still was. But in a different way. I had all these adventures, all these friends I loved but none of them really new the real me. There was always a barrier. My lies.

But now I had Sirius. Now he knew everything. My start, my beginning. I just wondered what my end would be.


	29. Pining

****A/N: Been feeling pretty under the weather but here's another chap! Short, but I'm happy with it and it's all I can seem to get out of me this week. But don't you worry, I've got a good one planned for next time!****

 ** **Replies:****

 ** **suzipotatish - Wow! Thank you so much for taking your time to type such a long review! I'm honoured that you've found a happy medium in my fic, especially when one of the sole reasons I'm writing this is for you guys to enjoy! Thank you, really. And fortunately, while I relate to Elle in a lot of ways, my life has been far less tragic and lonely than hers. Sometimes I feel bad for putting my characters through so much pain.****

 ** **As always, enjoy and let me know what you think!****

* * *

"I feel all-knowing and powerful. Omniscient." Sirius trailed after me, rambling in my ear. Since telling him the truth, his curiosity couldn't be sated by any amount of talking. It was impossible to tell him everything at once. "These suckers have no idea-"

"Sirius!" I hissed, my hand coming up and covering his mouth. He seemed to understand and went quiet, though his jaw was still twitching and aching to ask more questions.

I looked over my shoulder and luckily no one seemed to be listening. I'd trudged down to the station from McGonagall's house this morning, the 1st of September, to meet my arriving friends. It was hard to wrap my head around the idea that this was the start of my second year at Hogwarts. I'd really been here that long? The turning of the leaves, saying farewell to the end of summer, seemed to indicate so.

"You've got to remember," I started. "That I'm trying to plan things. Okay? And I can't do that if you're running your mouth in public where anyone could hear."

Sirius smiled a small smile and draped an arm over my shoulder. "Sorry," he said. "It's just kind of exciting. And cool." If he knew the things that I did he wouldn't be saying so.

It was kind of weird, how close I felt to him now. Before, there had always been this sort of metaphorical rift between us. Something stopping me from really letting him see all of me. Now there was nothing to stop me from grabbing his stupid face and letting him know how I felt, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to. Fear of rejection, maybe?

It was when we'd finally reached the doors of the castle that I started to feel faint, like my bones were about to collapse in a jumbled skeleton on the floor. I think I felt the headache before I saw the white light filtering in from the corners of my sight. Someone held me up before I was lost to another world once again.

 _ _Like the last time, I found myself surrounded by mossy brick and the gloom of underground. As my eyes focused, I noticed that I was in the Chamber of Secrets, just like the dream that night Sirius slept over. In the distance of the long chamber I could see two figures hunched by a long, scaly corpse. The Basilisk? I cried out to warn them, it was the only thing I could think to do, but as usual they couldn't hear me.__

 _ _I swallowed my fear and approached the scene, eyes wandering upwards to notice a tall statue of a man with a beard. As I grew closer I observed that the serpent of Slytherin was now lifelessly still, scales glistening but not moving. I also managed to focus in on the two figures. One was crouched on the floor with one hand covering her bloody arm, auburn hair messy and sticking to the sweat on her forehead. To her side was another student with familiar grey eyes looking a little beat up and rough around the edges. It was me and Sirius.__

 _ _"Sirius!" I called, but my voice echoed around me. As if it couldn't penetrate the invisible bubble separating me from them. I closed in on them and watched as the other Elspeth twisted a fang from the gums of the dead Basilisk and handed it to Sirius to hide in his robes. A flurry of red and gold appeared from behind the corpse of the dead snake and sang a chilling song, ever so quietly. Fawkes. "Elle!" I shouted as a last attempt, and to my luck the head of the other Elle whipped up and stared straight at me. No, through me. Like she was looking at the source of a noise instead of actually seeing me.__

 _ _I took a step forward and then shielded my face with my arms as Fawkes dove straight for me, long tail fluttering behind him. I started tripping and drowned in a sea of fire.__

When I woke, Sirius was crouched beside me. My Sirius. I found that I was propped up against the wall just inside of the castle. Students stared at me as they shuffled in and headed towards the Great Hall. "Is it one of those visions? The ones you told me about?" Sirius asked.

It took me a moment to find my words again. "Oh. Yes," I confirmed. He must have made sure I didn't fall. "How long was I out?" I asked.

"Only a minute, maybe less." Sirius took my hands and pulled me up. "Let's walk it off before people start asking questions," he suggested.

"Good idea," I agreed. I was trying to make sense of all that I'd seen. Me and Sirius in the chamber, a dead Basilisk, the phoenix. I'd read this all before. "Well, shit."

"What?" Sirius whispered, a protective hand still at my elbow in case my stupid body decided to faint again.

We followed the lingering students and entered the Great Hall. "You know what the Chamber of Secrets is, right?" I pulled him toward our friends.

"Founder of Slytherin made it, yeah. Why?" he asked.

"I think we need to open it," I said. Saying that out loud made it feel real and I started to panic. The whole thing felt unreal. I waited for his reaction, trying to manage a smile at Lily as I slided in next to her on the bench.

Sirius looked at me as if I was mad. Maybe I was.

"And we have to kill the Basilisk."

...

Professor Slughorn intensely watched Lily grind her root of asphodel into a powder before nodding in praise and continuing his way around the classroom. "You're clearly his favourite," I complained while trying to find my pestle. Potions was one of the only four classes I'd managed to get accepted for N.E.W.T. level. But I guess in a way it was good, because it gave me more free periods to both plan this whole Save The World thing and study so I could get a decent mark on the only four bloody subjects I'm taking.

"Don't be silly, Sev is much better than me," Lily argued. Speaking of Severus, the boy was across the room from us almost finished with his Draught of Living Death. Lily insisted the two of them had spent a lot of time together over the summer but I couldn't help but notice they weren't as close at school any more. I'd have to investigate that later. "And Slughorn praises him much more than me."

I reached over and stole one of her Sopophorous beans. "Barely!" I exclaimed.

"Oi!" Lily tried to grab it back but quickly decided to huff at me and close my textbook in annoyance. "So, when were you going to tell me the news?" she asked abruptly.

I scrunched my eyebrows at her. "Escusez-moi?"

"You and Sirius! You've been all over each other lately," Lily stated and stirred her brewing potion. My cheeks went hot. "I feel like I've barely seen you since the school term started," she said with a grumble.

"You've got it all very, very wrong," I said while shaking my head. Me and Sirius weren't like that. Not that I'd object to the idea. "What gives you the impression we're anything more than friends?"

"Oh, come on! All the little touches, the fact that he's neglecting his best friends to spend even more time with you." My friend seemed to think she had it all figured out, smiling to herself while adding the sloth brain to her cauldron. "Everyone thinks it."

God, I thought my cheeks were going spontaneously combust I was blushing so much. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't all talk about me behind my back," I said. I almost spat it out. "And it's not like that, I've told you this before." I looked over my shoulder at my supposed lover. The Gryffindor was situated at the desk near the door next to a Ravenclaw I didn't know. He was trying to cut one of his ingredients and quickly flinched as the knife sliced through it and half a Sopophorous bean flew at his face. A giggle escaped my lips.

When I looked back, Lily was shaking her head and chuckling at me. Brilliant. How could I tell her the reason I'd been around Sirius so much lately was simply because we were planning to open the Chamber of Secrets? I couldn't, was the answer. "Well, if you're both as oblivious as you're trying to make me believe, then I feel sorry for the poor boy. He's pining after you."

"Rich, coming from you," I said. I decided to deflect the attention away from me. "How are things coming along with Potter?"

Lily only stirred her potion and bit her lip.

"Oh, you didn't!" I exclaimed, and she quickly shushed me. I looked around us and dusted my hands off on my jumper before moving closer to her. "You kissed?" I asked quietly.

"Maybe." That was a yes. A big fat James-shaped yes.


	30. Greenhouse Scheming

**A/N: Well. I haven't updated in almost four months. Could be worse, though. Better than that unintentional half a year hiatus, right? Seasonal depression got the better of me and as I knew I didn't want to continue this until I went back and edited all of my awful first chapters, I just couldn't work up the motivation. So, I've spent my free time from the last two weeks going back and correcting all (I hope) of my spelling and grammatical errors! Taxing, but I've gotta say it was a great way to get to know my story again.**

 **But it's good to be back! Since seeing Lady Bird I've been listening to the soundtrack for inspiration and it really makes me think of Elle.**

 **Enjoy!**

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On October 4th, I rushed into the dorm at noon. We'd just had lunch when the owls delivered the letters. I was caught off guard as, yet again, I received an anonymous letter. Luckily, Sirius was with James out on the grounds for Quidditch practice as I wasn't sure if he'd blow our cover or not. Better he be a cheerleader for his best friend right now. I could fill him in later.

Anxiously, I dropped my bag at my bedside and ripped open the envelope, eyes scanning the contents.

 _Yes, you need to open the Chamber of Secrets. And yes, you need to kill the Basilisk. Help will come on the way._

I let out a breath of relief. It was the confirmation I needed, but this was the longest letter I'd received and I was desperate to know who was sending them. Telling me that help was coming was all well and good but I still had no idea how I was going to go about this. It all seemed mad.

All I knew right now was that I had to inform my usual mentor.

...

"What you are telling me, Miss Winslow, is that you are going to open the Chamber of Secrets?" Professor Dumbledore eased back in his chair, old hands folding together in his lap and his eyebrows raising just a smudge in scepticism.

I let out a small sigh that was more of a huff. Him saying it like that made me doubt myself even more than I was already doing. It sounded silly. "That's the plan, Professor," I confirmed with a nod of my head.

The older man sat up slowly. "And how do you suppose you will do that?" he asked.

"It's not hard," I told him, looking around his office. Fawkes was sleeping in the back. "The only problem is that I'm not a Parselmouth." I bit my lip. I couldn't think of a way around it. "I'll figure that one out later." Maybe that was where the help would come in?

"Well," Dumbledore said, giving me a steady look. "You seem fairly confident in your scheming. I shall leave you to it," he concluded, standing as if to escort me out of the room.

I hadn't even sat down yet. My hands were still bracing his desk from when I'd stormed in and started rambling. "Is that it? You're just going to let me open it? On the off chance that I might set a giant homicidal snake on the loose?" I asked in disbelief. It couldn't be that easy.

The Headmaster looked at me for a moment and stilled. "I've said it before, I'll say it again. You have a purpose here, Elspeth. Who am I to meddle in that?" A purpose. A task. I knew all this, I just wished someone would spell it all out for me instead of hiding it in clues and dreams and visions. "And I never said I would not keep an eye on you."

"If you say so," I said, giving him a look of nervousness before trailing after him to the door. "Just one last thing." I turned back to him.

"Yes?" He looked down his spectacles at me with twinkling eyes.

"It's not you sending the letters, is it?" I asked in hope. It had been a suspicion of mine for months. If anyone here knew about all this, it was him.

Dumbledore only looked at me with a distant sadness and a small smile. "No, my dear. But I wish I could tell you it was."

...

I spent a few days mulling over the idea. The plan. Sort of trying to let it all sink in. I'd gone over the event a thousand times in my head but how did I really know how I'd act in the moment? How did I know I'd produce the sword of Gryffindor from a hat and slay the Basilisk just like Harry had? For all I knew, I'd have a panic attack and be petrified while Sirius was eaten alive. That certainly sounded more realistic.

Sure, the vision I had weeks ago showed me pulling a fang from a corpse but not all my visions came true. In fact, only one of them had so far. And another showed my demise at the eyes of the snake so who was I to know which would come true?

It was times like this that I so desperately wished I was home, in bed, watching a _Friends_ re-run with Hattie. But then I wouldn't have my friends, and I wouldn't have magic, and all the other wonderful things that made this place so great.

On a Thursday afternoon, I strolled down onto the grounds to join my friends. Lily was leaning up against a tree with a textbook in her lap and her Gryffindor scarf wrapped tightly around her neck. James was laying splayed out on the grass next to her, being quizzed on some Potions trivia. He didn't seem to be doing well with the amount of times Lily was prodding his chest. Sirius looked awfully grouchy about the fact that all of his best friend's attention now went to one girl.

Upon seeing me approach, his face lit up. "Oh, my love, have you come to save me from this dreadful torture I like to call The Third Wheel?" he cried out, sitting up from where he'd been laying on the grass on his belly. I admit I died a little when he called me that. My love. His love. He really wasn't making this whole crush thing very easy.

I reached out a hand for him to take as I had news to tell that only his ears were allowed to hear. "Come join me for a walk," I told him.

He simply looked at my hand and frowned. "Do I have to? Do the walking thing?" he asked with a pout. God, he was such a lazy drama queen.

"Oh, of course not," I drawled. "I can't think of any reason I might want to be alone with you right now." To others, the hint might have sounded like a romantic insinuation, but Sirius knew what my sarcasm meant.

Finally, my friend took my hand and brushed himself off. He only offered a wink. I rolled my eyes and turned to Lily. "S'later, Lils. I'll leave you guys to... study," I said. We all knew what those two got up to when others weren't around. James laughed awkwardly but the girl looked at me and raised her eyebrows.

"You two are up to something and I'm going to find out one way or another," she promised. Oh, Lily. I really hope you don't.

Sirius and I walked in a comfortable silence until we reached the greenhouses, our usual place to hang out and get away from the rest of the world for a while. The slowly setting sun hugged the place in a warm parting glow, specks of dust floating in the air and sticking to the window panes. Various plants and flowers lined the workbenches and hung from the ceiling, a few boxes arranged on the floor from when free space was sparse.

I pulled myself up to sit on a workbench and let my legs dangle over the edge. It was warmer in here than outside and I was glad for it. I always thought I hated summer and the sweltering heat definitely didn't feel nice, but neither did the freezing temperature of autumn and winter in Scotland.

"So," Sirius started. "What are you so desperate to tell me that you went to all of the trouble of traipsing down here for?" he asked me, picking up Professor Sprout's left-behind radio. I didn't have the energy to tell him to stop fiddling with it right now.

"This," I said, holding out a piece of parchment to him. "I received it a couple days ago. I told you about the others. This is from the same person."

Sirius flicked the radio onto a music channel and set it down. He stared at the article in my hand. "Days? And you didn't tell me?" He sounded hurt, but still reached out to read it. I waited for him to finish before I continued talking.

"I needed time to think, Sirius. And study. I can't let teachers get suspicious at my lack of homework to give in," I explained. Maybe I should have gone to him sooner.

"Study? Why do you need good grades when you're trying to kill a Basilisk?" he teased. "What are you going to do? Beat him in an Astronomy quiz?"

"Very funny," I said in impatience, but I was glad he'd lightened up a bit again. "So? What do you think?"

Padfoot looked at me for a moment, leaned against the bench behind him, and said, "I think we're a little fucked."

I laughed and let my shoulders droop, burying my face in my hands. "You're telling me!" I exclaimed. We both chuckled at the situation for a few seconds before I took a breath and went on to tell him the plan. "Thankfully, we can sort of follow what Harry did. Or would do, if this timeline wasn't so wonky," I explained.

Sirius nodded. "And?"

"And," I said. "I know where the opening is. But I need someone who speaks Parseltongue to be able to open it. Otherwise, I'm hoping whoever sent that letter will help us out." It was a weak chance, but something told me it might be okay if we just tried.

"Too bad we don't have an heir of Slytherin just lying around, huh?" Sirius joked and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Rotten luck," I agreed with a laugh. "And that's just opening it. After that, we have to make sure we don't look the Basilisk in the eyes, and make sure it doesn't leave the Chamber. Then I'm just betting our survival on if Dumbledore will send help and I'll be able to retrieve the sword of Gryffindor from-"

"Hold up, hold up," Sirius cut in. "The sword of Gryffindor? That's real?"

I sighed. "Well, apparently. Yeah."

I was starting to think I should maybe slow it down a little. Sirius was getting as freaked as I was, but maybe I was glad he was starting to realise how real this all was. You know, instead of some fun prank.

"That's... a lot to take in," he admitted. "This whole thing, with you," he motioned at me. "It's hard to believe, even though I know it's real." I understood that. I was only just starting to accept it all myself. There were so many times when I wondered if I really was going mad, that maybe none of this was happening and it was all just a fantasy my crazed mind had made up to deal with trauma, or something. But it seemed – it _felt_ – too real for that. I didn't know a lot of things but I knew this.

I was biting my lip in thought and watching my feet when I felt two hands pull mine from their place bracing me on the workbench. I looked up and let Sirius help me back down onto the ground. "Shall we go?" I asked and went to slide my fingers out from between his, but before I could he tightened his grip.

"Really? Just when we got rid of James and Lily?" he said in exaggerated disbelief, steering me into a bit of spare space. "And this tune is too good to waste," he stated. He swayed our hands in time to the music still playing over the radio and I started laughing.

"One," I started. "I can't dance. And two, this is Celestina Warbeck! You hate her," I stated. The singing witch's voice wasn't very, well, modern. And definitely not up Sirius' ally.

Sirius rolled his eyes and twirled me around. "You're not making this easy," he told me.

I looked at him in confusion. "I'm not making what easy?" I asked. For the moments that he was thinking of something to say, I watched him. His face was all sharp, elegant lines. Pink cheeks. Two freckles under his right eye. Handsome, sure, but it was the little things that I loved the most. Like the way he tilted his head the tiniest fraction when he was thinking, or the smallest smiles he tried not to indulge in.

"I just." He stopped and scrunched his brow, seeming to find the whole talking thing difficult all of a sudden. "I feel like I'm making it really obvious, but you're not paying attention," he said and ran a thumb over my hand.

I cocked my head at him. "Then you're not making it obvious enough because I have no idea what you're talking about," I told him. I felt bad, like I'd done something wrong. Missed a vital detail. "Do you need to talk about something?"

As soon as the words left my mouth we both jerked our heads at the greenhouse entrance in response to the sound of someone's shoes crinkling the autumn leaves. Stood before us was a smug looking Lily Evans. "I knew it," she said in delight.

Abruptly, I withdrew my hands from Sirius' grasp. "You don't know anything," I said to Lily, heat rising to the surface of my cheeks. "And you should really do some research on social cues. A lot of people aren't fond of being followed." I stuffed my hands into my pockets but the absence of Padfoot's touch was miserable.

Lily frowned. "I'm sorry you see it that way," she said. "Well, perhaps I'm being too invasive." She looked at her feet and fidgeted with the end of her scarf before turning to leave.

"It's alright, Lils," Sirius called out. The girl looked back at him. "Really, there's nothing going on here." He looked at me with a weird expression and patted my back. "We were just on our way back to the castle anyway."

"Yeah," I agreed. The tension between us all felt awful, and something was telling me it was all my fault. "Back to the castle."


	31. The Chamber of Secrets

**A/N: This is going to be a long one, I'm afraid. The longest chapter yet, actually! Though I'm sure you guys have no objections to that, especially with the events of this update. *wink wink***

 **Thank you for the reviews last chapter, I really did miss writing this.**

 **As always, enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

The Great Hall during Halloween evening was full of chatting students, drinking more pumpkin juice than normal and having to pick fallen orange streamers off of their shoulders. In one corner an animated skeleton jerked at passing first years, causing the poor children to squeal and dive for their places at one of the long dining tables.

I was sat next to Lily and the red-haired witch was telling stories of when her and Petunia used to go trick-or-treating as kids. I wasn't surprised that her sister seemed to be a bit of a brat. "One time she got so mad when Mum said we had to evenly halve our sweets, she poured the whole bucket of them into the fireplace. While it was lit," Lily said through laughs. "Sometimes I'm not so sure I can blame our lack of relationship solely on magic."

"Maybe it won't always be like that," I told her with a weak smile. "You know, I hear you get along better with family once you move out." Not true, in Lily's case, but anything could change. I was proving that to be true so far.

Lily nodded. "I hope so."

Mary looked up from her plate. "I personally don't like what I hear 'bout this Tuney girl," she said. This remark caused Dorcas to nudge her girlfriend, looking a little embarrassed at MacDonald's honesty. "What?" Mary asked. "I'm just saying," she started, puncturing a roast potato with her fork. "Our Lils doesn't deserve the strife that bitch-"

"Alright, Mary," Lily cut in. She didn't seem offended, though. Only shook her head with a chuckle and proceeded to make a start at her own meal.

I can't say I didn't agree with the brunette, but that wasn't the most pressing matter right now. I was waiting for Sirius.

After the awkward encounter with Lily in the greenhouses the other week, we'd kept our distance from each other a bit. It was a vocal decision, suggested by Sirius. I agreed, not oblivious to the fact that we were drawing the attention and suspicions of our friends. Part of me thought I might have upset him, though.

In-between classes, and whenever we could be in a secure place alone, we roughly planned out what we would do. Halloween evening seemed an opportune time to schedule the event since everyone was distracted with celebrations. If we left the feast early, the halls would be clear and – luckily – no one would stand in our way.

So, when Sirius sat himself backwards on the bench next to me, I knew it was time.

"What a surprise seeing you here," Mary drawled. "You know, Elle, you could have chosen someone else to be your best friend and inferior sidekick," she said before shovelling a spoonful of pees into her mouth. I knew the rift between those two was more playful than anything and I rolled my eyes.

"Trust me," I told her. "If I could choose who I spend my time with, I wouldn't willingly traipse after this dork-"

"Hey!" Sirius cried. "If you're asking my opinion, I say drop Mary. She's the one bringing out this mean streak in you." Padfoot reached over and nicked a piece of broccoli from my still full plate. I didn't feel like eating right now.

Mary simply scoffed at him and leaned back in her chair, rubbing her abdomen. I took this moment to look at Sirius and nod my head towards the entrance of the Great Hall. The boy caught on and nodded back at me, swallowing a last forkful of potato. "Well, ladies, it's been simply lovely conversing with you. But alas, I must depart early," Sirius stood and bowed dramatically. He started to walk away and, when I didn't follow, turned to beckon me. "Ellephant?"

I took a sip from my goblet and looked at him in confusion, just like we'd rehearsed. We were all used to Sirius dragging me along for mysterious adventures and pranks, so maybe we could play it off as simple as that. They'd either assume we were tucked away in a broom closet making out or booby trapping the dungeons for some poor unsuspecting Slytherins. Let them think what they wanted to.

"Is this another situation where I ask you what we're doing and you tell me to trust you?" I asked him, standing from my seat in acted annoyance. "And then I find myself breaking into another ice rink?"

"Ice rink?" Lily asked in confusion, eyes darting between the two of us. I hadn't told her about that night yet.

"Long story," I told her. "I guess I've got to see what that nerd wants." I glanced over my shoulder to see Sirius now hunched next to the animated skeleton so that he matched its height. He was making faces at the first years and I wasn't sure whether he was trying to amuse or frighten them.

Lily gave me one last look – a mix of worry and confusion – and motioned for me to join my other friend. "Go baby sit him, Elle," she told me.

"Will do, chief!" I saluted the girl with a laugh and hurried off to collect Sirius and hush him out of the hall.

Once out in the corridor, the reality of what we were doing hit me. We were going to open the Chamber of Secrets. Attempt to, at least. And then we were going to try and kill a bloody Basilisk. Brilliant. Sirius must have noticed my panic as he draped an arm over my shoulders while we started to walk.

"If a twelve year old boy can do it, so can we," he said. I guessed he was right. Except Harry was the Chosen One. He was special and we weren't. I wasn't, at least. "What do we do when we get to the bathroom?"

I bit my lip in thought and turned the corner. "Uh. Find the right sink, and then look for a little snake symbol on the tap. If I remember right."

Eventually we found ourselves entering Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. In all my time here I think I'd only encountered the ghost once. She wasn't the type of presence you purposely sought out. Concentrated on our plan, I led Sirius to the end of the room. At the last stall, I turned and found the adjacent sink. My heart clenched as I searched for the snake on the side of the copper tap and the second I found it my muscles relaxed a bit. Now I knew it was actually here.

I was about to tell Sirius the next step when a wail sounded out from the cubicle behind us. It was shrill and loud and choked out like a sob.

"Is that?" Sirius asked.

"Mytle." I confirmed his thoughts.

I slowly pushed open the cubicle door and set my eyes upon the ghost. She was sitting on the cistern of the toilet, looking sorry for herself. "Oh, what are you doing here?" she asked in a voice that was more whiny than anything else and her thick-rimmed glasses slid down her nose. "Here to make fun of me, are you? Look at sulking, mopey Myrtle!" she cried.

"N-no," I assured her, waving my hands out in front of me. "We were just..." I stopped and looked to Sirius, not knowing what to say. It seemed rude to ignore her. I leaned over to my friend and whispered in his ear. "Tom Riddle killed her with the Basilisk."

Sirius' eyes widened and he nodded. "Me and my friend," he started and motioned to me. "Think that we know who killed you. Or rather, _what_ killed you."

Myrtle looked up from wiping her eyes. "You do?" she asked. "How?"

Padfoot didn't know what to say then. I looked at him and jerked my head towards the sink as a way of telling him we had to get going. It was getting late and my impatience was growing. "I'm not sure we have the time for that tale right now," he told Myrtle.

Like the flick of a switch, Myrtle started sobbing and moaning again. "Typical! No one wants to talk to the dead girl! No one wants to be friends with fat, ugly Myrtle," she gurgled on through her crying and flew out of the room.

"Anyway," Sirius said with a nervous laugh and scratched at the back of his head. "Where were we?"

"Right," I said. I looked at the sink before me. I already tried turning the tap like Harry had, even though I knew it was useless. "This is the entrance. We have to sort of... order it to open," I told Sirius.

"Alright then." He seemed to wonder why it was taking me so long to do it. "I know it's daunting, but it has to be done, Winslow."

I ran my fingers through my hair and took a step back. "I have to tell it in Parseltongue, Sirius. Problem is, I don't speak bloody Parseltongue."

Black sucked his teeth and crossed his arms over his chest, now pacing back and forth. "So, you get sent here, to do this, but whatever sent you here doesn't give you the powers you actually need?"

My heart sank. I couldn't walk away from this. "Let's just. Let's give it a try." I threw my hands up and stood before the sink. "Open up," I said. I turned to Sirius to see his reaction. He shook his head. I tried again. "Open up."

"Still English, Elle," he told me.

I sighed and kicked the stupid thing in frustration. "Open up!" I cried at it, and had to stop to brace myself when my vision went white. I couldn't see anything, or hear anything. It was like I was stuck in the limbo that surrounded me in between entering and leaving my visions. I didn't know how to get out. "Open up, open up. Open up!" I tried forming the words with my mouth but I couldn't feel or hear if I was doing anything. But then, suddenly, I was blinking away the white and the light. And when I came around all I could see before me was the absence of a sink, and instead there was a large pipe in its place, just about big enough for a man to fit in.

"You brilliant woman," Sirius said quietly next to me. I realised now that he was holding me up, but his attention belonged to the entrance that must have just formed.

"Sirius?" I asked, rubbing the skin between my eyes. I felt a headache coming on. "What happened?"

He stopped gaping at the pipe and released his grip on me, only to tuck a stray bit of hair out of my eyes. "I saw it. I've learned to see it now, you know. When the visions start. You always sort of freeze for a moment, and your eyes look like they're looking beyond stuff. Like, through stuff," Sirius told me, struggling to explain what he meant. "I caught you, but then you started... hissing?"

I looked up at him. "Hissing?" I asked. That can't have looked very flattering. Or sane.

"Yeah," he confirmed. He laughed a bit now.

"Do you think it was them? The ones that sent me here?" I asked. I was struggling to understand this all. But I didn't have the time to try and fathom what had happened right now.

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe."

Maybe. I could work with maybe. "Okay," I started. "I'll go first. And don't worry," I turned to him. "It levels off as we get to the bottom. We'll land as gracefully as is possible when you're hurtling miles down a metal pipe." I was muttering to myself more than anything now.

"You sure?" he asked.

I nodded. And so, I slid my legs in and sat on the edge. "See you in a bit," I said, before pushing myself all the way in and letting my body glide towards its destination. I was sliding fast, and there was little light, but I could just about make out the surrounding pipes. A network of smaller ones branching off in different directions. Eventually, like I told Sirius, it started to level off as I found myself reaching the bottom. I started to feel my panic rising as I got closer and closer to the task at hand but now certainly wasn't the time, so I pushed the anxiety down and braced myself as I whizzed out the end of the pipe.

Before me was a dark tunnel, going God knows where. I retrieved my wand from my robes and held it in front of me, muttering a quick " _lumos_." It took a few tries but eventually a dim light illuminated my surroundings. I still hadn't quite gotten the hang of this.

A few moments later, Sirius exited the pipe behind me and clambered to a stand, brushing his uniform off. "We must be under the lake with how long that was," he commented.

I chuckled slightly, remembering Ron and Harry's conversation from the book. It was very, very weird following their footsteps like this. Different to how the rest of this world felt. "Down here." I motioned in front of us, leading the way. "I'm hoping that Parseltongue thing wasn't a one time phenomenon because I'm going to have to do it again," I told my companion.

"I believe in you, Winslow." I could hear his breathing so clearly with how quiet it was down here. The shaking of it was a giveaway that he wasn't quite as calm as he let on. In a way, that made me panic. I wanted at least one of us to have a steady mind. But in another way, I was glad I wasn't the only one freaking the fuck out. "A bunch of creepy snakes," Sirius remarked on the wall we had finally come across, holding his own lit wand up to get better lighting.

Just like before, I commanded it to open. I tried to relax my body and welcome whatever needed to take over my being, and it happened again. I lost a few seconds of memory, while Sirius presumably watched me hiss something that must had made sense to the stone serpents before us. The wall had cracked open and parted to make an entrance. An entrance into the chamber.

"Keep quiet, and close your eyes as soon as you hear or see anything," I told Sirius, still blinking away blurriness.

"Right. And what if it attacks us? While we're blind?" he asked, taking a deep breath.

"I have no idea."

We walked into the chamber, shoes making a tapping noise that echoed around us. It felt damp in here, and it looked it too. The walls were slimy, almost, covered in condensation. We couldn't see a ceiling, and I wondered whether that was due to how dark it was or how high the chamber went. In front us I saw the same pillars from the visions I had all those weeks and months before. And right at the end of the chamber was the statue of the monkey-faced man. Then I realised something that sent a chill up my spine. The statue's mouth was open, forming a round black hole. A tunnel which something must have come out of.

I reached to my side and snatched up Sirius' hand. "Close your eyes," I told him, and squeezed shut my own. "It's somewhere in here with us. Close your damn eyes, Sirius Black," I whispered urgently to him, aware that my voice must have been laced in panic.

"Oh, I promise you these babies are closed," he said with a shaky voice.

And that was when we heard it. A clinking, slithering sound. I felt the grating of its scales sliding along the floor.

"Elle?" Sirius tightened his grip on my hand. "If that's what I think it is, then I'm going to distract it while you-"

"Sirius, no," I interrupted him, trying to calculate the Basilisk's proximity to us. If it hadn't heard or seen us yet, it was going to smell us. Just as I was about to urge the boy next to me not to do anything stupid or rash, a chilling sound filled the air. Music was playing, and it was eerie. The tune filled my ears and I could feel it in my guts, in every fibre of my being. "Fawkes," I breathed.

"What's a glorified bird going to do?" Sirius didn't seem convinced that the phoenix was the saving grace I knew he was.

Sure enough, something started spitting and hissing, almost like it was wailing in pain. The sound was closer than I assumed. I knew I should keep my eyes shut longer but I trusted that Fawkes had blinded the beast. Slowly, I squinted through my lids, and across the chamber I spied a flurry of crimson feathers and a bundle of writhing green scales. The eyes of the serpent were hollow and weeping with streams of blood.

I nudged Sirius. "You can open your eyes, it's alright." Immediately, he did so. His face winced at the sight of the injured Basilisk. It certainly wasn't pleasant to look at, but at least that was an option now.

Suddenly, the Basilisk turned, trying to bat away the phoenix. It didn't have the memory of Voldemort egging it on, ordering it to murder us, but it could smell we were here and I was sure it was hungry. I searched around us, praying that Fawkes had brought what I needed him to. Just by one of the pillars, I spied a crumpled piece of fabric. The Sorting Hat. "You can distract it now," I told Sirius, my heart jumping into my throat as the serpent advanced on us with sharp, glistening teeth.

"Sure thing," Sirius replied and started in the other direction. "Over here!" he cried at it. "Come and get me you great, big, ugly thing!"

Thanks to Padfoot, I had a window of opportunity to sprint out of the path of the monster and skid down to the floor next to the hat. In desperation, I shoved my hand straight into the hole which you would normally put your head through. My fingers brushed against cool metal and I almost sobbed in relief, grabbing the hilt and pulling the sword of Gryffindor out into view. The large weapon shouldn't have fit in such a small piece of tattered cloth, but magic sort of took care of that. I took only seconds to note the enormous rubies. I couldn't believe I was holding this thing. Only a true Gryffindor could do what I just did. If that didn't give me the boost of courage I needed, I didn't know what would.

I heard Sirius cry out as the Basilisk whipped its tail and threw him at one of the chamber walls. "NO!" I screeched at it. I almost regretted making the noise when I saw reptilian nostrils flaring at the detection of my scent, but I'd rather it be me that goes down. I didn't want to think about what I'd do if he died. "Yeah, that's right," I told the serpent. "Come get me."

As if obeying my command, the Basilisk started slithering towards me, poisonous green scales glinting in the dim light. It was menacing and the sight of its jaw opening was possibly the worst thing I'd ever seen in my life. Teeth that were the size of a small sword each, and coated in venom, loomed over me. The serpent reared its head back and lunged at me in one swift movement. Its first strike was the lucky one and I had to plunge the sword in my hands upwards with all of my strength, piercing through flesh and bone. The blade had gone straight through the roof of its mouth and exited out the top of its head, blood pooling from the wound and trickling down scales.

My arm was in agony, one of my biceps was sliced clean down the side. It had gotten me with one of its fangs. Almost immediately I started to feel the affect of the venom, my hand letting go of the sword as the now dead snake slumped to the floor. I found the pillar next to me and used it to help myself as I found the floor, vision going blurry.

"Elle!" I heard my name being called, and soon Sirius was at my side. I could see that he was okay. His eyebrow shined with a fresh cut and I could tell he was going to have bruises, but he was going to live and that was all that mattered. "Your arm," he said, cradling the useless, bleeding thing.

A cloud of red and gold and orange flew to us and perched on Sirius' forearm so that it could comfortable lay its head on my wound. "You wonderful... you brilliant thing, you," I babbled to Fawkes. "You did so well," I told him.

"Elspeth," Sirius said my name again. "We need to get you to the hospital wing. The venom, is it fatal? Oh, Merlin, please keep your eyes open." He held my face up with a hand and made me look at him. His thumb stroked my cheek and I struggled to smile at his touch.

Pearly globs of liquid pooled at my arm, leaving Fawkes' eyes. I couldn't feel a single bit of pain any more, and I could see a lot better too. When I looked down, there was no wound to find find. No scar or seam to indicate I'd been injured at all. I held my arm out in front of me and turned it to the side in inspection. I spread my fingers out, then clenched them up in a fist. everything was working just fine.

"The tears," Sirius said, marvelling at what Fawkes had done. He reached out to softly pet the top of the phoenix's head in admiration. "I'm sorry for doubting you." Then he turned his attention back to me, helping me stand up. "Are you okay? I still think we should go to the hospital wing."

"Will you stop worrying about me? I'm perfectly fine," I assured him. But maybe that was a bit of a lie. I felt like my knees might buckle. I shuffled and crouched towards the corpse of the Basilisk and snapped off two of its fangs, stuffing them into my pockets. When I stood back up, Sirius looked at me as though I was mad.

"We almost died, Elle! Do you realise that?" He searched my face, expecting some sort of acknowledgement.

I guess I didn't, really. I mean, maybe I didn't think he cared enough about me to dwell on that. It was all about the quest, right? But now it was dawning on me how much I cared about this boy. And how dangerous what we were doing was. How much more treacherous our journey to come was. We could have died in this chamber and he would have never known how much he meant to me or how deeply I felt for him.

For a split second, I thought I heard someone call my name, and my attention snapped towards the darkness in search of the source. Instead, I saw nothing. I shook my head and turned back to Sirius.

I took another gulp of air. "I think I love you, just a tad." The words left my mouth and they felt so, so big. Massive, and scary, but not untrue. Because that's how I felt, really. On every level possible. He was my truest friend, one of the most important people in my life. When I was with him, I was happy, and I was at home. He made me feel safe, and important, and imagining life without him was impossible. No, not impossible, but unbelievably painful. His laugh could mend every broken bone in my body and I'd give up anything just to have him at my side during this short life. I'd give anything up for his happiness. If that wasn't love, I didn't know what was.

All he said in reply, through a nervous and shaky breath, was, "You've got dirt on your face." And he reached up to cup my face, his thumb travelling over my cheek. It took all of my courage to close the gap between us, to get so close I could feel his breath against my lips. I stopped when there was a mere pinprick of empty space, asking for some sort of acceptance. His eyes fluttered closed. "Only if you mean it," he said, barely above a whisper. "Only kiss me if you really mean it, Elle."

"Always."

My lips met his and I thought I might stop breathing. It took us a moment to work around our noses, and when my teeth clacked against his I laughed into his smile. Soon my hands found his face in an effort to pull him closer, my lips sliding against his in the impatience of months waiting to do this. To hold him this close. I could feel my heart racing in nervousness and excitement, singing with joy. Sirius retracted one arm from my waist and his hand found mine at his cheek, fingers entwining themselves through mine. I could have gotten lost in his lips all day. The safety and calmness and love that being with him made me feel. But eventually I had to draw back for a rest, no longer than a few seconds. As soon as I'd gotten in a few quick breaths, Sirius threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck and pulled me back to him, welcoming my mouth with another chuckle. It was a little messy, yes, but still perfect because it was with him.

Sirius' lips released their hold on mine and he pulled back to look me over. The fatigue I'd been pushing away was starting to get its grip on me, digging the claws of slumber into my back. "Listen to me," I said with all the strength I had left. "I'll be okay, but you must take the fangs. Keep them in your robes." I produced the sharp teeth from my pockets and pulled his hand away from my face to push them into his possession. The last thing I saw before passing out was Sirius nodding at my request, face scrunched up in concern.

But that was alright, it was all going to be alright. I had killed a bloody Basilisk and would live to tell the tale.


	32. The Aftermath

**A/N: Not much to say, only thank you again for the new follows and favourites etc., you guys are so lovely!**

 **Honestly, I have no idea where these long chapters are coming from, but I'm not mad about it. Gone are the days where I struggled to get to 2000 words. (Hopefully... might've just jinxed that one).**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

I willed my eyes to open, the action feeling like a chore. It almost felt as though someone had chained a metal ball to each one of my eyelashes. When my lids finally fluttered open, I found myself laying on my side in a bed. A hospital bed. The clean paleness that surrounded me was that of the hospital wing, and to my right I watched through bleary vision as Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Madame Pomfrey spoke amongst each other in hushed voices. My throat was dry and I clumsily reached for the glass of water at my bedside, gulping down as much as I could. Upon realising that I had woken, Madame Pomfrey went to tend to the other students while the two Professors advanced towards me. Dumbledore's face had a lack of readable expression as usual but his colleague looked a weird mix of furious and worried. When they reached the foot of my bed, Dumbledore spoke up.

"You have woken, Miss Gladwyn," he stated. I noticed he only used my real name in front of Minerva, or when it were just the two of us. "How are you feeling?" His voice was gentle, and I sensed he wasn't mad at me. I should hope he wasn't, since he all but encouraged my actions.

I nodded, taking another sip of my drink. "Surprisingly, I just feel a bit groggy. My arm," I said, holding it up into the light. "Fawkes healed it."

"Yes, I can see that," The Headmaster said.

"Professor, how long have I been asleep?" I asked. It felt like just moments ago I was in the chamber. I still felt the chill in the air.

"The Black boy returned with you last night. You have been resting all day, it seems," he answered, motioning to the slowly dimming light streaming in through the windows. He scratched his beard in thought for a moment. "Well, I am more than glad to see you are doing well. I should think that two hundred house points to Gryffindor is enough to reward your heroics." At hearing this, my mouth pretty much fell to the floor. "Two hundred points each, that is. Mister Black was here earlier and he told me everything," he explained.

Professor McGonagall seemed to be just as shocked as me. "Albus, you cannot be serious? Rewarding such behaviour?" she objected to Dumbledore's decision. She turned to me now. "You could have gotten yourself killed, Elspeth. Your friend, too. It is a miracle that you stand here unscathed after such an event."

She had a point. It was reckless, and it was a miracle we succeeded.

"I think you forget, Minerva, that Miss Gladwyn and Mister Black eradicated what was a threat to all students. You could argue that they saved the lives of all of us." Dumbledore smiled and his cheeks went rosy. "Do you mind if I?" His voice rose in question as his hand hovered over one of the boxes of sugar quills at the foot of my bed. I hadn't even noticed the small bundle of sweets, presumably left by visitors. Visitors?

"Oh, of course," I said to him, giving permission to take the candy.

The wizard popped a quill into his mouth and looked to me and McGonagall. "We shall discuss matters further at a later date. For now, we will leave you to settle down with your friends. I am sure they are desperate to see you."

"My friends?" I asked. I looked over to the doorway and, sure enough, Madame Pomfrey was trying to bat away three Gryffindors. When Lily noticed my gaze, she started waving frantically, and I couldn't manage to hold back my laugh.

Dumbledore left, McGonagall still talking in his ear, and motioned for Pomfrey to let my friends in on his way out. When they reached my bedside, Lily was the first to pull me in for a hug. I squeezed her tight, thankful that I hadn't actually gone and died. I didn't realise how much I would miss her. "Oh, Elle!" she exclaimed. "What on earth were you two oafs up to? Everyone's talking about it but I don't know what to believe-"

I cut her rambling off. "Lily, please. Just woke up," I said, rubbing my eyes. I didn't even want to think about my hair, I must look a mess. "What do you mean everyone's talking about it?" I asked. That wasn't ideal at all. I hadn't really thought about the aftermath of it all. I was just so set on the imminent task at hand.

James' eyes flitted between me and Sirius. "You and Padfoot opening the Chamber of Secrets. That's not something that just happens every Sunday," he joked. "Really, though, what happened? Sirius won't give up anything. We've been badgering him all day."

Sirius looked at me and I remembered the kiss. Oh, God, the kiss. I'd kissed Sirius. And it was nice, and wonderful. And I suddenly didn't know how to talk to any more. "I?"

"I said we'd talk about it later, right?" Padfoot seemed to direct that at me more than his friends. Like asking for reassurance that he was saying the right thing. I started nodding. "For now, just assume we came upon the Basilisk and did what we had to do," he finished.

"Yes," I agreed. Lily didn't look happy and crossed her arms, looking at James. "Really, Lils," I tried to assure her. "It's a long story. I promise I'll explain absolutely everything later. Now's not the time or place." I reached out and laid a hand on hers. The look in her eyes told me she understood.

Almost immediately, her mood lifted. "Right, then. Want some help getting back to the dorms? I'll run you a bubble bath if you want! And you can wear that favourite jumper of mine," she promised.

I chuckled and pulled at her arm to give her another hug. "I really appreciate it. And thank you so much for coming down here," I mumbled into her hair. When she pulled away, I had a request. "Is it alright if I speak to Sirius for a moment? Alone?" My eyes chanced a look at the boy in question for just a second.

Lily looked at Sirius, and then back at me. James nudged the girl and nodded. "They'll be alright," he insisted.

"Okay," Lily agreed. "But that bath will be ready for when you get back, and you're going to be bundled up in a million blankets," she assured me and started to walk away with James. "And scented candles too!" she called, and now I was laughing again. I really did love her.

Lily and James disappeared through the doors to the hospital wing and now that I was finally alone with the person I needed to be with, I all of a sudden didn't know what to do with myself. I pushed myself up properly so that I was sitting with my back up against my pillows and held my glass in my hands again purely to give them something to do. Sirius looked unable to work out the situation, too, and he pulled a chair up to sit next to me.

"So," he started. "We did it." I was still coming to terms with that. How did Harry do it all and seem to accept it so quick? "I thought I lost you for a moment there," Sirius said, and I could feel the darkness in his voice.

"I thought I lost you too," I said. With the force of the Basilisk's tail throwing him against the wall, I was surprised he'd gotten off so easy. "How'd we get out of the chamber?" I asked. "Did you have wounds, are you healed?" I reached a hand out to touch where the cut on his eyebrow used to be but quickly retracted it, not sure if that was appropriate.

"Fawkes flew us out," he said simply. That's how Harry and Ron got out too, if my memory served me correct. "I kind of panicked at first, but it's alright now. I just..." Sirius looked at me and I was drinking in his appearance. Trying to memorise every little detail in case there was a day I didn't have him. "I was fine, just a few cuts and bruises. I'm just glad you're okay." And then he reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear again. A useless gesture, purely for closeness. I revelled in it.

Then I remembered the fangs. "Do you have them?" I asked, lowering my voice.

Sirius nodded. "In my trunk, hidden under a false bottom. Anyone tries to open that and they'll get a nasty surprise," he said with a grin. I knew I could trust him with that.

Now to change the subject. "There was another thing," I said. "We..."

"Kissed," he finished for me. A bout of silence sliced up the conversation. Then he spoke again. "I'd been wanting to do that for a really long time," he told me and scooted his chair in closer.

I beamed up at him and felt a blush rise to my cheeks. "You should have said so sooner." To think that all this time he'd been feeling the same way. Trying not to get too deep into something that he thought wasn't reciprocated. It wasn't believable.

Sirius smiled shyly for the first time in his life and looked to his feet. "I thought... I mean, I tried to," he insisted.

"The party?" I asked. Maybe it wasn't my imagination or wishful thinking that made me see him lean in. "Oh no, wait, the other day in the greenhouse?" Was that what he'd wanted to talk about?

"So you did pie me off!" Sirius teased, still smiling from ear to ear.

I laughed again. "I was tipsy at the party! And pretty convinced that you didn't like me like that." And that was true, because I couldn't in a million years believe that the person I liked would like me back. All my feelings towards friends seemed to be one sided. I was always the one to love more, and I hated that. I could never figure if it was my fault for amplifying my place in other's lives, or if I deserved to be loved equally to what I gave out.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "I was quite clearly coming onto you and you thought I didn't fancy you?" he said in scepticism. As if I was the most oblivious person he'd ever met.

When he said it like that, it sounded pretty stupid. "I didn't want to ruin our friendship! And I still didn't feel... I didn't feel like it was right to lead you on when you didn't know exactly who I was. If that makes sense?" I chewed on the corner of my lip and crossed my arms over my chest. "And it's not like someone like you would be interested in someone like me."

"Hey!" Sirius complained and took my hand in his, all gentle like I was something special. "I'm the luckiest bloke alive purely because I haven't annoyed you to the brink of death." I rolled my eyes at him and scoffed. "Really, Elle. You're more amazing than you could ever see."

"Thank you," I said, though I still wasn't sure I believed him, no matter how many butterflies erupted in my stomach. "And sorry. For everything."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, silly." Sirius ruffled my hair and kissed my knuckles.

"Stop that or I might die," I told him in all honesty.

So he stood from his chair and let go of my hand. "Well, we wouldn't want that, would we?"

The absence of his hand made me curse my stupid mouth.

...

Dispersed around the Gryffindor boy's dorm room were the friends that I'd decided could hold my secret. I was sat next to Lily on James' bed while said boy sat with his legs up on the window ledge. Remus was snug, wrapped in a blanket on the armchair in the corner, breaking off bits of chocolate to share with Sirius who was laying on his belly on the bed just to Lupin's right. And then there was Peter, sat on the floor with his back up against his trunk, twiddling his wand in one hand and chewing the nails on his other. Yes, I trusted even Peter with this. I wouldn't let the sweet boy I knew him to be become a lost cause.

Part of me couldn't believe I was going to tell them all of this after all those weeks of convincing myself I'd lay low. In the early days there were many times I even thought I might ask Dumbledore to stow me away in a safehouse where I couldn't cause trouble. Just until he figured how to get me home. But what even was home, these days? I couldn't imagine a life without magic, and one without my family seemed... well, I'd never imagined having to deal with that. I thought Dad would be the only one I had to lose.

Remus spoke up first. "So I assume the rumour that you and Pads are both descendants of Salazar Slytherin and attempted to release the Basilisk and sic it on the Muggleborns isn't true? Because I could've sworn that one was the most believable," he said, eating another piece of chocolate. "Especially since you're a Muggleborn yourself, Elle. The perfect disguise," he drawled in sarcasm.

I scoffed, then, in disbelief. "Are people really saying that?" I asked. It had only been a couple of days but word spread quickly. As soon as one person voiced a theory it was spun into a greater story and passed along like a bag of Every Flavour Beans.

Sirius nodded with a look of disgust on his face. "This morning some girl from Slytherin asked if I could impregnate her with the seed of Salazar," he said with a shudder. Every single one of us started spluttering, apart from Remus who was laughing harder than I'd ever seen him laugh before. Sirius reached over and whacked his friend on the arm. "Not funny, Moony! Practically predatory. I've still got chills. Look at these goosebumps." He pushed his jumper sleeve up and waved his arm in Remus' face.

I was struggling to find my breath because now I, too, was on the verge of crying with laughter. "You can't be serious," I said, wiping a tear from my eye. "She just said that? To your face?"

"I am Sirius, and no, she passed me a letter. I'm hoping it was a joke," he replied with a perfectly straight face.

I rolled my eyes at his pun and leaned against the headboard of James' bed. Secretly I wished I was next to him so I could give him a teasing nudge. Or a kiss. But I'd never tell him that. Too much pride.

That was another thing. After The Day We Kissed and Killed a Basilisk, nothing else had happened. We hadn't spoken about it since the evening in the hospital wing and I had no idea what to do about it. Were we a thing? Did he want to kiss more? Did he just want to be friends? I'd never been in this situation before and it was getting harder and harder to be around him with all these feelings piling up.

"Alright, alright," Lily piped up. "Are you going to tell us then?" She looked at me. I glanced at Sirius and smiled a bit at his nod. This was going to be a ride.

So I straightened myself out, and began to tell them. I started from the beginning, figured it'd be easiest to tell them my real name, and where I'm from. Then to tell them why I had to lie about that. Because that life was another life, before this. It didn't exist in the same universe. I told them about the books, about Harry, about who his parents were to be. I told them about the war, and how I was supposed to bring it to an end. Maybe? That's what I thought I had to do. To destroy all the Horcruxes before Voldemort had a chance to kill Lily and James. To destroy them, and Voldemort himself, before this fate was bestowed upon Harry.

And so that brought us back to the chamber. Now they had a reason as to why we had to open the Chamber of Secrets. We needed the Basilisk venom. It didn't hurt that we'd gotten rid of that thing either. Not like anyone enjoyed having it roaming around under a school of hundreds of children.

Lily was now looking off into the distance, raking a hand through her hair every now and then. "Me?" she asked. "And James? Having a child together?"

I didn't really think about that one. I'm not sure how I'd react myself if someone told me something like that. "Well, uh, yeah," I confirmed.

"And I'm his Godfather," Sirius butted in. "Just keep that in mind," he said with a wink. God, he was awful in the most charming way.

James looked just as freaked as Lily, but I'm sure he was secretly squealing inside. This was his dream, wasn't it? Marrying the girl of his dreams, having a future with her. The only problem is that they never really did have much of a future. But that was what I was here for.

"That can't be right," said Peter. James gave him a look that could kill. "No, Prongs, I mean. I mean, you say I gave them up?" He turned to me now. "I'd never do that! I promise, I can't imagine it!"

"I don't disbelieve that, Peter," I told him. "But you won't be the same person in a few years that you are now. Not if I don't intervene with things," I explained. "The war made you anxious. You were scared."

"A coward," he corrected me. "That's easy to believe..." He nibbled on his nails even more now, looking disappointed in himself.

I looked to Sirius for help. Padfoot scooted down next to his friend and threw an arm over his shoulders. "It's alright, Wormy. We all like to think we'd be these big heroes, but no one really knows. There's probably an alternate universe out there where I'm the one that betrays Prongs and Lils." He was right. As far as theories went, there probably was.

"I guess," Peter said solemnly.

"This can't be real," Lily was saying now. "It's just... it's too bizarre! How? Why? Who wants us to live so bad?" She glanced at James. "We can't be that special." I shrugged, because I didn't know. I wished I did, but I didn't. Lily looked at me again. "So everything you've told us prior to now has been a lie?"

I froze. Now I felt bad. "It's not like that," I started. "I only kept secrets because I had to. You wouldn't have believed me even if I told you!"

Lily relaxed and started nodding. "You're right. It was the smart thing to do."

None of us really knew what to do then. Half an hour came and went in silence that was neither comfortable nor awkward. We just sat there thinking. I assumed my friends were just letting it sink in. I counted one hundred and sixty two floorboards when someone finally spoke again.

"So, what now?" James asked. "We can't just sit around and let you two get on with it. We need to do something." Ah, so like his son. Couldn't sit still and let stuff like this play on his mind.

I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it again. I hadn't planned this far. "If I'm right," I told him. "Voldemort's only made five horcruxes by now-"

"Five?" Remus cut in. "How can someone split their soul that many times? That's what happens when you make one, right?" he asked.

I nodded. "And I'm only sure of the location of two of them. One should be right here in Hogwarts," I told them.

"Where?" James asked and stood. "We should destroy it now, right? That's a start."

I shook my head. "Steady on, James. I mean, I know roughly where it is. The room. But the only reason Harry knew its exact place was because he'd found it before," I said.

"Well, what room? Maybe one of us has seen it. What's it look like?" James asked again.

I looked around at all of them. Suddenly I felt this overwhelming responsibility put on me. It was okay when I was only working for myself, but now I was the one with the information in a group of clueless friends. "It's in the Room of Requirement," I told them. "And I know where in the castle the room appears, but it'll only appear if I'm in great need. And I..." My voice trailed off and I fiddled with my wand. "Maybe I'm afraid I'm wrong, and it won't open. Or if it does, and we find the Horcrux, then it's all real, right?" My voice rose in question. "And isn't that scary? That's something so powerful, a fragment of the soul of Voldemort."

I really wasn't meant for this, as my nervousness seemed to make my group anxious as well. But then James waved his arms about at us. "Come on, guys!" he almost shouted. "We're not alone in this. We have each other!" Sirius stood now, nodding. "Harry did it, so why can't we? Elle," he said and turned to me. "You and Sirius killed a bloody Basilisk! Do you realise how strong you are?"

He was right. "So, you promise we're in this together?" I directed the question at all of my friends.

Peter gathered himself and approached me, holding out a hand to shake. "You can count me in," he said, cheeks all rosy. This was the bravery I knew he had. There was a reason he was a Gryffindor. So I took his hand, and gave it a firm shake before pulling myself up and wrapping him in a hug.

"I'm glad to have you on the team, Pete," I said with a chuckle and turned to the others. "And?"

James smiled warmly. "At your service," he confirmed and jerked his head towards Padfoot. "Anyway, someone needs to babysit the dog." Potter then yelped as his friend on the floor grabbed his leg and pulled him down, playfully kicking his now laughing body sprawled across the ground.

Soon Remus agreed, offering me some chocolate, and Lily bit her lip in hesitation until she finally conceded. "We can do it," she said quietly, holding my hands in hers and looking me in the eye. It sounded more like a question that anything else. I nodded, holding her stare. "Alright, then," she finished, taking a step back and straightening herself out. "You and us 'til the end, Winslow?"

I grinned. "Promise."


End file.
